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Original poster

Partner hit me infront of children

189 replies

lovelyhorse21 · 15/03/2021 09:40

my partner and i havent spoken for a few days due to an argument we had previously. This morning he began arguing with me again whilst i was sat on the sofa with my my two little children. I said i didnt want to argue infront of them and that i wasnt going to change my mind about the disagreement we had previously as i still thought i was right. at that point he started screaming came over to me put his hands around my neck and push me onto the sofa i tried to kick at him but he grabbed my hair and punched my in the head three times then dragged my across the floor, i tried to get away to phone the police as i thought he was going to kill me and all i could think of was being scared to leave my children. he followed me and smashed my phone and threw it out into the street, i tried to lock him outside then but he was stronger and pushed his way in before i could lock it. i went upstairs with the children til he left. they were distraught. he's sat outside now saying he has nowhere to go and no money and that he loves me etc. i dont know what to do. i'm also in first trimester of pregnancy.

OP posts:
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 15/03/2021 12:46

It's not guilt it's fear OP.
What kind of piece of shit attacks a pregnant woman? In front of her kids. If you take him back they will take your children away from you.
I was told this about my violent ex. The court told me if I ever had him back in my house I'd lose my DS that day and he'd be taken into care.
Best to get it over and done with now, get him charged and start a new life without him, never take him back or the violence will escalate.
Life on your own will be peaceful and wonderful. You can see it all much more clearly when you are out of the situation.

Fireflygal · 15/03/2021 13:53

Op, by telling the police you are protecting the children, otherwise he could get unsupervised access to them and you will live in fear of him harming them...or harming you again.

The police will handle this and it's much too big for you to deal with. You are also likely to be in shock so allow your sister to guide you.

notapizzaeater · 15/03/2021 13:55

He nearly killed you in front of your children, please please press charges. There might not be a next time.

Extremelyilluminated · 15/03/2021 13:58

Please press charges
Please take my word on this .
It’ll be the best decision you ever make.

SquareOnTheHypoteneuse · 15/03/2021 14:04

Phone the police now.

Onthedunes · 15/03/2021 14:10

Op please call the police.

No matter what the argument was about or how much you think you contributed to the escalation of that argument, he made HIS choice to use violence.
Any violence in unaceptable.
In no way is his response acceptable.

Do not accept any fault or blame, if you do not contact the police he will try to convince you that you are responsible.

You are not.
His actions should have consequenses.

AllDoneIn · 15/03/2021 14:16

Please do not be a statistic. Call the police. I sadly knew two women who were killed by their partners. Their tragic and avoidable deaths were at the hands of violent men whose behaviour kept escalating.

Never see this man again.

rulerbirds · 15/03/2021 14:18

Please let us know that you are ok

Jesskir89 · 15/03/2021 14:23

Please don't let this man back in your children's home. I saw this growing up with my mum and it doesn't leave you. I hope you're ok and he needs locking up

Blacktothepink · 15/03/2021 14:29

You need to report to the police to protect your children.

Kelly345 · 15/03/2021 14:32

If you're not going to end this and go to the police then you might want to think about the message you are giving your children about relationships.

Countrylane · 15/03/2021 14:34

I'm so sorry. But please report it to the police at once. If for no other reason than you don't want either of your children to see this behaviour and not be shown instantly that it's completely and utterly unacceptable and illegal.

BashfulClam · 15/03/2021 14:44

You thought he was going to kill you? Next time and there will be a next time he might possibly succeed. You are pregnant and ge did this. Think about what you do when you get really wound up, do you attack him? He has zero excuses and first time is never the last time.

harknesswitch · 15/03/2021 14:50

I was you op a few years ago. I phoned the police. It's the right thing to do and it ensures you and your dc are safe. Please phone them

mybonnieliesovertheocean2 · 15/03/2021 14:53

This needs to be reported to the police. You need to see a GP too. I understand your scared however you need to focus on your DC. They have witnessed there mum being assaulted by there father. DC are seriously affected by witnessing DV. I was left with long term anxiety after my dad used to beat my mum. It is very very damaging so if your scared let your sister call on your behalf. Strangulation is a indicator for future homicide....your DC could end up with no mother

SkinnyEx · 15/03/2021 14:56

Phone the police and give a statement.
Please.

Thinking of you.

Dery · 15/03/2021 14:57

@lovelyhorse21 - the title of your post suggests that you have already been abused for some time and are used to being mistreated by him, taking responsibility for his behaviour and having his behaviour minimised.

You said he had hit you. That would have been bad enough. But actually what you describe was a sustained murderous attack. Hands round throat is regarded by law enforcement authorities as an indicator of future serious physical assault/murder. Please involve the police right away. He is a serious danger to you and your children. Ignore his tears. If you have any doubt about how dangerous he is to you, you might want to watch the film “Murdered by my Boyfriend”.

It’s great that your sister is with you.

How can we help support you?

FinallyMrsE · 15/03/2021 14:57

www.facebook.com/groups/2766475510334319/permalink/2767174163597787/

Please watch this video. This woman was killed by her partner, her daughter now doesn’t have a mum. Someone could be posting this about you next Mother’s Day.

Please call the police and do everything you can to keep you and your children safe.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 15/03/2021 15:04

I’m so sorry he did this to you. It’s the worst kind of betrayal from someone who’s supposed to love you and it is a very strong indicator that he could kill you in future - putting his hands around your neck is one of the most dangerous things a man can do. I’m glad you have your sister with you.

Please get police involved if you have the strength. If you don’t feel you can do that, please take lots of photos, potentially with your sister witnessing that she took them and that the bruises etc are real, and write down exactly what happened so that when you do feel up to it, you have the evidence. Even if you don’t feel like it today, hopefully soon you will realise it’s the only way to protect yourself and your dc from him.

This happened to me once, I was very young and didn’t report it but it has stayed with me. To see my attacker smiling with his wife on Facebook is galling to say the least. He should be prosecuted for assault or potentially attempted murder given how serious the attack was that it’s left you covered in bruises.

Please don’t waste a single moment worrying about what will happen to him after he did something so brutal. Don’t feel you have to cover for him with friends and family either. He will deserve whatever comes his way and more.

Your DC need protecting from this abusive piece of shit and police involvement is the best way to make sure this happens, but at the moment, just rely on your family to take good care of you, you must be in shock today. Flowers

Roszie · 15/03/2021 15:12

Take photos of your injuries too.

mrssunshinexxx · 15/03/2021 15:18

For your children's sakes do not let this man within 10 miles of you ever again,
He could kill you

Mix56 · 15/03/2021 15:26

all i could think of was being scared to leave my children
Phone the Police, if you are worried about your children you need him gone. Don't feel guilty, He won't be,

Brakken · 15/03/2021 16:27

@bookworm34

Please call women's aid and the police. DO NOT LET HIM IN. He's not sorry he hurt you! He's sorry your pissed off and upset. And now he's done it once he won't think a second time. Put you and your children first. Can you shout out to a neighbour?
This.

OP you must phone police and have it on record even if you decide to stay with him. That way if anything happens to you in the future, the police will at least know his violent history, and also if you leave him, it's concrete evidence of DV. You wont have much to make you up in the future about custody arrangements/protecting you if you don't report now.

His behaviour is not your fault and never will be. He's a disgrace harming the mother of his children. Poor kids. Please ring womensaid for friendly advice and support.
Flowers

Brakken · 15/03/2021 16:28

*back you, not make you

Bluntness100 · 15/03/2021 16:30

Op are you ok? Habe you called the police? You need to do this. That was a violent attack that could escalate to murder one day. And he did it in front of the kids and with you pregnant.

You need to call them if you’ve not done so. Take photos of your injuries. Don’t feel guilty. He’s a violent, nasty, abusive thug.

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