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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Partner hit me infront of children

189 replies

lovelyhorse21 · 15/03/2021 09:40

my partner and i havent spoken for a few days due to an argument we had previously. This morning he began arguing with me again whilst i was sat on the sofa with my my two little children. I said i didnt want to argue infront of them and that i wasnt going to change my mind about the disagreement we had previously as i still thought i was right. at that point he started screaming came over to me put his hands around my neck and push me onto the sofa i tried to kick at him but he grabbed my hair and punched my in the head three times then dragged my across the floor, i tried to get away to phone the police as i thought he was going to kill me and all i could think of was being scared to leave my children. he followed me and smashed my phone and threw it out into the street, i tried to lock him outside then but he was stronger and pushed his way in before i could lock it. i went upstairs with the children til he left. they were distraught. he's sat outside now saying he has nowhere to go and no money and that he loves me etc. i dont know what to do. i'm also in first trimester of pregnancy.

OP posts:

dancemom · 15/03/2021 11:06

I'm so sorry OP

If you can, call the police and report him. He's a danger to you and your children and he's the one who should feel guilty.

Weirdfan · 15/03/2021 11:11

That guilt is totally normal and understandable OP, it does feel wrong to call the police on someone we care/cared about. But he's not who you thought he was and he doesn't deserve your care if he can attack you like that, it's disgusting what he did. Please listen to your sister, he will do this again and it will get worse, there's no going back after what he's done

Branleuse · 15/03/2021 11:12

what he has done is extremely serious and you and the children are in danger. Please go through with the police stuff. Its not silly. Your children need to see you not taking this shit

Snorkello · 15/03/2021 11:12

Call the police. You need a record of this.
Get the locks changed ASAP. Do not let him back in.

Get your sister to buy you a new phone for emergencies. You can’t be on your own with no way to get help.

Advise the school immediately. Make arrangements to ensure he isn’t allowed near you or them.

Do not engage with him. Do not feel guilty, this is domestic abuse. It’s not your fault.

Virtual hugs. Be brave. We are here for you x

fedup078 · 15/03/2021 11:13

Don't let your children think this is how things work , call the police now . Next time it might be one of them he's laying in to

sallievp · 15/03/2021 11:13

Protect your children. Phone the police.
There is nothing to feel guilty or bad about.

BrilliantBetty · 15/03/2021 11:14

Also bear in mind that if social services find out about this and you have not called the police to protect the kids and yourself (pregnant) it will not reflect well on you. You need to do everything you can to protect the children. It's very serious. You want to keep your babies, right?

Amirite · 15/03/2021 11:15

Please call the police. He did this to you and nothing you have said or done warranted him hurting you. I was a child when my dad used to hurt my mum and I remember it well even though I was small. Do it for them and for you, this is really no way to live... you deserve so much better.

RandomMess · 15/03/2021 11:19

You need to report to the police, if he can do this to you what is he capable of doing to your children. Protect them from him.

Silverandgoldsparkles · 15/03/2021 11:19

First time he's hit you is it?

ineedaholidayandwine · 15/03/2021 11:19

I'm so glad you've posted again and have your sister there.
You NEED to call the police. I agree with PP get the locks changed and get an emergency cheap phone you can hide somewhere, just in case.
Think of your children and how they felt seeing that happen to you. He did that, he scared your children, he is vile and you don't have anything to feel guilty about. Please call the police now.

LisaLx · 15/03/2021 11:22

I could have written this post myself. Please trust me you need to call the police not only has he assaulted you but he has also prevented you from making an emergency call which is a criminal offence in its self.

You need to call the police for the sake of not only you but your children and unborn baby. I promise the support is there

ArabellaScott · 15/03/2021 11:24

Glad your sister is there. Please take photos of any injuries/bruises/marks.

Please call the police.

TheGoodEnoughWife · 15/03/2021 11:24

Call the police!

He has stopped short of killing you today but he may not in the future.

You owe it to yourself and your children to call the police.

Think back to that moment when you were concerned he would kill you and leave your children motherless.
Call the police. Please.

AnneShirleysNewDress · 15/03/2021 11:26

I'm so sorry you've gone through this. I'm glad your sister is with you. Take the first step, and call the police. You can do this. You and your children deserve so much better

MotherofTerriers · 15/03/2021 11:28

Please tell the police, don't feel guilty you have done nothing wrong.
You need this to be recorded in order to be able to protect your children from him in the future. With no record he can deny it ever happened

Howmanysleepsnow · 15/03/2021 11:29

Call the police. He will do it again, and each time he does you’ll find it easier to make excuses because you’ve done it before. Each time you let him off and blame yourself you make it harder to leave and bind yourself to him.
He will do it again, and again. He will not stop until you leave, or until he kills you.
Do not wait for that to happen.
Be the strong woman that you are. Call the police and cut all contact with him for you and your children.

binkyblinky · 15/03/2021 11:32

Please call the police. I'm you have a responsibility to take your children away from this vile creature. If you won't. It for yourself, do it for them

pointythings · 15/03/2021 11:33

Call the police. Your sister is right. Your partner is a dangerous abuser.

CattyCactus · 15/03/2021 11:35

He’s the guilty one.
Read back what he did:
he started screaming, came over to me, put his hands around my neck and push me onto the sofa, i tried to kick at him but he grabbed my hair and punched my in the head three times then dragged my across the floor, i tried to get away to phone the police as i thought he was going to kill me

You tried to phone the police in that moment, and you need to do it now.
You and your children are not safe with this monster.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 15/03/2021 11:38

@BrilliantBetty

Sorry OP but you really do need to take what this poster has said seriously. You need to safeguard your children. That means reporting this incident in full to the police, asking for any support they can give you and never getting back together with him. Ever. That will be expected of you by them to show you can parent safely, they deserve that. Please put them first. Don't feel guilty about him. It's a choice between feeling guilty he's in trouble or guilty your little children are living in a violent and abusive home. Surely there is only one of those options you can live with.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 15/03/2021 11:39

And get your sister to take pictures on HER phone of the marks on your body in case he can delete any you have if he gets into a device / knows passwords.

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 15/03/2021 12:14

Listen to your sister and call the police
I know you must be in shock still but you need to put yourself first

TwinkleStar88 · 15/03/2021 12:21

This is awful OP, has he been violent before?
You cannot take him back, he is a dangerous and very unstable man.
Please phone the police and go from there.
Big hugs, I’m sorry you this happened to you infront of your children

MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 15/03/2021 12:24

Hello there, OP.

We're pleased to hear your sister is with you. It looks like you're getting lots of good advice both from her and those on the thread.

In the meantime, we just wanted to post a link to some domestic violence helplines and organisations here.

We hope you're ok and are able to seek help now.

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