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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He did the mash. The Geller mash.

938 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 12/03/2021 15:55

Thread 4. Wow. Thank you for putting up with my ramblings thus far, and for all the support - I couldn't have done it without you all.

Previous thread here

I can confirm he has purchased a masher. He sent me a picture of it and asked if it was alright Confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Cavagirl · 14/03/2021 15:56

@RonSwansonsChair

I'm so sorry for your poor daughters! Re the puppy, make sure he doesn't think it comes with you too your house when it's your time to have the children - I can just envisage him trying that!
Absolutely thirded this!

Also not sure if this was DC's phrasing or his he is getting them a puppy

So, he's not getting a puppy....they are getting a puppy? Hmm

I'd be subtly managing expectations with the DC that said puppy is in fact Daddy's puppy and definitely will be living full time at Daddy's....

StopSearching · 14/03/2021 16:01

I think you need to start trying to detach a bit more. You can't control what he does. You just need a few stock phrases to reassure the girls - that's for Daddy to sort out, Daddy makes his own decisions, Daddy is an adult, etc. and repeat, repeat, repeat. Don't keep messaging him, it only encourages him.

harriethoyle · 14/03/2021 16:11

God, he's an insufferable prick Gin

marriednotdead · 14/03/2021 16:16

He absolutely plans for the puppy to be living at yours, and will be trying to make you the bad guy if and when you refuse. Or will you capitulate? He's counting on it. What a prize arse Hmm

1WayOrAnother2 · 14/03/2021 16:16

Geller is the very reason why nature gives us two parents!

Your children have you. They are going to be ok.

No doubt they will learn lots from having him in their lives - not all good things to be sure- but they will be safe and strong because they have you too.

You are probably going to have to model not taking him too seriously and not relying on him. They must never feel that they need him to validate them.

The reaction to the present shows how much this is going to matter. (Can you tell them of other 'funny occasions' when daddy reacted badly to a carefully chosen presents from people they respect?)

For the sake of the puppy - could some of your lovely friends warn the breeder against G as owner... at least until he used to being responsible for his own potato masher?

justilou1 · 14/03/2021 17:28

Wow! You are going to have to be very clear to the girls that as you are renting there is NO way the puppy can ever come to your house, or you are going to absolutely be saddles with this dog and the financial and emotional responsibilities for it. Guaranteed he will want to get rid of it the first time it shuts on the floor.

justilou1 · 14/03/2021 17:28

*shits

Raindancer411 · 14/03/2021 17:33

Yes defiantly have a word with the parent. If he is afraid of them, he wont make an assertive owner, and if it's a fairly big dog, it maybe asking for trouble.

Original poster
StuckInPollyannaMode · 14/03/2021 17:50

Bloody bloody hell.

It’s a Hungarian Vizsla.

OP posts:
Original poster
StuckInPollyannaMode · 14/03/2021 17:51

I have 2 friends who have them.

Both dogs are bonkers. Nice, but bonkers. Very jumpy and mouthy. And my friends are experienced dog owners who have trained and trained them.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 14/03/2021 17:52

FFS

No way can he handle one of those, it could easily pull an adult over let alone one of the DDs.

🤦🏼‍♀️

1WayOrAnother2 · 14/03/2021 17:53

He is amazingly active then is he? (Those dogs can happily do 8 hours hunting a day... so the occasional turn around the block won't be much good in preventing stir-crazyness.)

No dog deserves Geller-care.

comfyoldcardi · 14/03/2021 17:54

I hope he isn't planning to gift the puppy to you...

mbosnz · 14/03/2021 17:55

There is no way he can handle one of those, and it would be desperately irresponsible of the breeder to allow a person who has no dog experience, let alone vizsla experience to have one. They are incredibly strong, and jumpy. And with kids to boot . . .

onyourway · 14/03/2021 17:59

I can't believe any potential good breeder would still have puppies left from a bitch due next month.

They are beautiful dogs, but really not for an inexperienced first time owner.

Your lovely children will be disappointed and I'm sure this will be framed as your fault. I'm sad for them and you.

WeatherwaxLives · 14/03/2021 18:02

Never heard of them so had a Google - a puppy is 3 grand!! He's never going to pay £3000 for a dog, is he? He didn't even want to fork out for his own spud masher, never mind the laptop/printer/data situation?!

StopSearching · 14/03/2021 18:07

I think he's winding you up OP

Original poster
StuckInPollyannaMode · 14/03/2021 18:18

3k?! Bloody hell. Technically, half my money!

OP posts:
FelicityPike · 14/03/2021 18:21

That’s a heck of a load of money!!
I agree with others though, make entirely sure that this pup is dad’s at his house!
This is a disaster waiting to happen Polly.

FannyFlapClap · 14/03/2021 18:24

Yeah, I'm kind of agreeing in that I'm not sure if he's bluffing or not and trying to get a response, any response, out of you. It doesn't really make sense with being a tight fuck with money and being completely useless at general day to day life. If it is a means to draw conversation/reaction out of you then he is an absolute cruel fucker for using the children's happiness/excitement and getting their hopes up for nothing.

FannyFlapClap · 14/03/2021 18:28

3ķ? If it's half your money, could buying such an expensive animal be an attempt at depleting his money - then lumbering you with said expensive pet to assume all associated cost which could further deplete your personal finances. I'd be wary, taking into consideration his previous ways with finances that it's not an attempt to mess with your finances.

Cavagirl · 14/03/2021 18:32

I'll bet he thinks he's getting it for free 🤣

FannyFlapClap · 14/03/2021 18:33

Apologies for the swearing and the repetitive use of words. I've had my first 2 glasses of gin in over a year and feel rather pissed 🙃

But I agree with @1WayOrAnother2 you are a credit to your children and they will soon see through his shit, hopefully without too much impact on their wellbeing.

RandomMess · 14/03/2021 18:48

Saw this and thought of you...

He did the mash. The Geller mash.
MotherofTerriers · 14/03/2021 18:59

The dog breeder will regret it
He'll be on the phone as soon as it pees on the carpet demanding she cleans up and trains it