Handhold whilst I figure out what to do.

[BlackOutCurtain]

I have been with DP for 7 years now, we are currently undergoing fertility treatment due to PCOS and he has poor sperm.

About five years ago, I found him on FabSwingers after picking up his iPad that was linked to his phone. Loads of disgusting messages but he didn't meet anyone apparently. All the messages were sexting as such and each message spoke about meeting but then he always came up with an excuse. Either way, it doesn't matter he was disrespectful and a piece of shit to do it. Anyway we decided to work on it and we've been happy. We've just had our mortgage in principle, we've started fertility treatment (which he is paying for out of his own savings and it is £6k a round)

I've just googled his username for everything - Xbox, Instagram, literally anything you need a username for, he uses the same on each time.

It's come up with sextingonkk.com and his profile has been active since 30th September and he was last online yesterday. I feel sick, it's definitely him because the account registered is his date of birth.

He promised me he wouldn't do this again. I feel sick, why would he pay for our treatment if he wasn't interested in me anymore? I love him so much it physically hurts. I know he's going to say it's not him and I can't even prove it because there's no photo.

I'm sorry if this is a rambled mess, I'm logged on to my evening course in the office whilst he's on Xbox and I want to just confront him. I need the evidence but how.

I can't stop shaking.

I have no idea what made me Google his username. The first thing that came up was his username (let's say the user name BlackOut'sPieceOfShit).

BlackOut'sPieceOfShit on Sextingonkk.com, his date of birth, last active yesterday and account made in September. No picture.

Argh.

Tell him " I know. Now get out." See what he says.

He will deny, deny and deny even more. I just wish I had the proof of a message to give him and I'd clear my stuff out tomorrow whilst he's at work.

I don't know why, I just want to give him the full proof that he can't worm out of.

You found out who he really is 5 years ago, but chose to stay. Did you think he would change? Men like this never, ever do, and it has nothing to do whether he finds you attractive or not. He's a sleazy, lying cheater and always will be.

I know what you're saying, you're right. However, so many women do take their partners back so it can't be that black and white and easy to do. I genuinely believed he wouldn't do it again.

I would contact him on the website to catch him out but that’s probably not healthy.
I’m sorry that you are in this situation.

I have tried to make an account but it doesn't seem to be working. I registered but haven't had an email and when I try to log in, it doesn't let me. I think that is what I plan to do. Get the screenshots and go.

It's over this time.

It has to be over, this will destroy you otherwise

Well if not this time, the next time and the next time

You don’t need this man. He isn’t worth saddling yourself to.

Would anyone type it into their web browser? Is it a bogus site? I don't know why it won't let me create an account.

I’m so sorry, sending hugs

He's just came in and made me a tea and biscuits and asking why I'm being so quiet. I'm so, so sad. He is/was my world and I was so happy.

@BlackOutCurtain

He will deny, deny and deny even more. I just wish I had the proof of a message to give him and I'd clear my stuff out tomorrow whilst he's at work.

I don't know why, I just want to give him the full proof that he can't worm out of.

Register on there yourself with an alias then send him a sext. There's your proof.

@Kelly345 I have tried, for some reason it won't let me register. I've signed up as you usually would, but the registration email hasn't come through and I can't log in using the username I created.

I've never heard of this website before. I'd heard of Fab previously :-(

It's KiK i think. Check your spam folder.

I've checked it just before I posted here. Nothing in there. It's so frustrating, it's definitely him!

Could it be like a directory of people on Kik?

Sort of how you have sites that aren't Instagram but they show you other people's Instagrams?

If so, maybe make a Kik account? Be careful though as the other person can see your full name as well as your username, so make sure both are fake!

Could the email have went into your junk email folder? Sometimes happens to me when creating accounts for online shopping xx

Apparently it rejects if you type too quickly

I can't download Kik, I am a bit of a social media dinosaur and I'll definitely get caught. My AppleID is linked to the Mac, the iPads etc now. It's too risky. :(

@Kelly345 yes that's the website!

Well it won't let me register either.

I was with someone who had a porn addiction for years. Constantly denied it. Constantly doing it. It was absolutely soul destroying to be lied to for years. While it was painful to break up, it led to me being properly happy with someone new. I don’t think my current partner uses porn, but also I don’t care because I feel loved.
I think that you checked his username because you sense that something is missing. You’re right.

That's why I thought it's maybe a bogus site, but his DOB with his username can't be a coincidence?

@BlueSkyBlinking thank you :(

Oh OP I'm so so sorry.

But you don't need evidence. You don't need for him to admit what he's done. It's enough for you to know he's done it and the relationship is over as a result.

What's your financial circumstances, can you ask him to leave?

And don't let there be a next time, remember fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

Can you make some excuse to use his tablet/laptop?