Handhold whilst I figure out what to do.

[BlackOutCurtain]

I have been with DP for 7 years now, we are currently undergoing fertility treatment due to PCOS and he has poor sperm.

About five years ago, I found him on FabSwingers after picking up his iPad that was linked to his phone. Loads of disgusting messages but he didn't meet anyone apparently. All the messages were sexting as such and each message spoke about meeting but then he always came up with an excuse. Either way, it doesn't matter he was disrespectful and a piece of shit to do it. Anyway we decided to work on it and we've been happy. We've just had our mortgage in principle, we've started fertility treatment (which he is paying for out of his own savings and it is £6k a round)

I've just googled his username for everything - Xbox, Instagram, literally anything you need a username for, he uses the same on each time.

It's come up with sextingonkk.com and his profile has been active since 30th September and he was last online yesterday. I feel sick, it's definitely him because the account registered is his date of birth.

He promised me he wouldn't do this again. I feel sick, why would he pay for our treatment if he wasn't interested in me anymore? I love him so much it physically hurts. I know he's going to say it's not him and I can't even prove it because there's no photo.

I'm sorry if this is a rambled mess, I'm logged on to my evening course in the office whilst he's on Xbox and I want to just confront him. I need the evidence but how.

I can't stop shaking.

He has £30k in his personal savings, £5k in cash and I have £1,300.

We're engaged so obviously I'm not protected or entitled to anything from him. We currently rent but as I said, we've just literally had our agreement in principle through to be able to buy.

I was thinking of asking. As this website is a web based thing, I'm pretty sure he'll have deleted his history.

You have to wait for approval.

@Kelly345 oh I never got that screen? Argh. Wonder how long that takes!

It says here it's not automatic approval

Argh. I don't know whether to wait for approval or blow my lid.

Don’t blow your lid. You need proof or he will deny and you’ll be trapped in

That's my worry, he'll worm his way out of it and I'll back down.

What tablet does he have? Is it an iPad? If so passwords are all saved so all you need to do is type that site into his browser and see what comes up. Alternatively just put in forgot password and look in his emails then reset the password

His passwords are saved but it's facial recognition access only. He is so cunning it's unbelievable. Already tried that before.

I don't know his passwords to his email to even access it

Just check his ipad tomorrow when he's at work. Patience is needed here

I don't have access to that iPad anymore. Argh ;(

I've attached the screenshot, it shows no messages or reaction (whatever they are) so he doesn't seem active on there. Anyone know what this means?

You know the truth, he knows the truth, wether he admits it, unlikely, is on him. You don’t need to waste your time proving who he is, pack your bags and look forward to better 💐

On reflection I think that no matter what proof you have he will deny it, he’s got a lot to loose.

Have you got anywhere to go?

@Reinventinganna not really. I don't have much money saved, I've had to take a pay cut at work as well.

My parents have no space, my friend has offered me to stay as I've briefly messaged her but I think why should I go? This is my home and I've done nothing wrong. He'll deny it

Sorry if this sounds a tad insensitive, but can you not continue the fertility treatment and rather use a sperm donor.

Get rid of this disgusting piece of work. Gross

Facial recognition still has a passcode as a back up

I’ve googled the website. Looks like you can talk to girls on Snapchat too. Does he have Snapchat?

Top right can you search his username?

@Holyhonestyjj oh does it? When I tried it just kept asking for facial ID initially, mine just asks for a passcode.

He never leaves his phone lying around. I need to get it.

I can't even contemplate thinking about sperm donors etc yet. I don't know how I'll come to grips with starting my IVF journey, to being excited to then having it ripped away for no reason of my own not a bad idea for the future though!

@Holyhonestyjj I did, his username comes up. If you see the pic I uploaded, that's the screen I get. It's his DOB

Are you sure this is him and the site hasn't harvested the profile? I've had online dating sites use my info and made profiles when I have never engaged with the site in the past

@nevernotstruggling

Are you sure this is him and the site hasn't harvested the profile? I've had online dating sites use my info and made profiles when I have never engaged with the site in the past

This would make sense as there are zero’s on the statistics. And last seen might not be last seen by him it may be last seen by someone looking at the profile page?

Why put yourself through it? You know what he has done, you have lost trust / faith in him. End it anyway. Before you get caught up in co-ownership of property or having a child together.

I'm not sure how this all works, to be honest. Given his past history I automatically would assume the worst naturally.

However why would it say profile created? Where would it harvest it from?