Handhold whilst I figure out what to do.

[BlackOutCurtain]

I have been with DP for 7 years now, we are currently undergoing fertility treatment due to PCOS and he has poor sperm.

About five years ago, I found him on FabSwingers after picking up his iPad that was linked to his phone. Loads of disgusting messages but he didn't meet anyone apparently. All the messages were sexting as such and each message spoke about meeting but then he always came up with an excuse. Either way, it doesn't matter he was disrespectful and a piece of shit to do it. Anyway we decided to work on it and we've been happy. We've just had our mortgage in principle, we've started fertility treatment (which he is paying for out of his own savings and it is £6k a round)

I've just googled his username for everything - Xbox, Instagram, literally anything you need a username for, he uses the same on each time.

It's come up with sextingonkk.com and his profile has been active since 30th September and he was last online yesterday. I feel sick, it's definitely him because the account registered is his date of birth.

He promised me he wouldn't do this again. I feel sick, why would he pay for our treatment if he wasn't interested in me anymore? I love him so much it physically hurts. I know he's going to say it's not him and I can't even prove it because there's no photo.

I'm sorry if this is a rambled mess, I'm logged on to my evening course in the office whilst he's on Xbox and I want to just confront him. I need the evidence but how.

I can't stop shaking.

I just said hey, how are you? And got the attached response back...

His name isn't Dan, it's very similar though. Think Dane... his name is similar to the one on this Kik Account.

This is all very confusing. What levels men go to to cheat and get their kicks. I really hope it turns out that his data has been harvested op.

Second phone?

Problem if you can’t see his inbox on there. You need to set him up. More than “hey” I think

Follow up with “what you on here for? Wanting pics ;)” or something

Ask if he exchanges pics op

Not ruling a second phone out, that is quite possible.

I'm so bad with the lingo on these things what if it's not him and I'm messaging some complete stranger.

It is sickening the lengths they'd go to. I wouldn't put anything past him, he's cunning by nature that's for sure.

There is no way this is a coincidence. Same username. Same DOB. I wouldn't bother going any further, OP. I'd tell him it was over.

I've never used Kik, can you see where they are from? If not, could you ask the person you have messaged where they live?

I can just imagine him coming on here to say he thinks his GF is on there, be careful it doesn't back fire

You don’t know for sure that he didn’t meet anyone / physically cheat 5 years ago.

Unfortunately his recent behaviour (and that’s just what you know of) suggests you made a mistake, at that time, continuing the relationship. Don’t bring DC into this.

If you are secretly spying on younr partner, making up secret accounts to catch him out, don't trust him at all, talking to strangers online about it all I would say the relationship is over now

I think you need more evidence.

I had an e - mail from PayPal last week saying there was unusual activity on my account. They wanted verification so they would know if transactions that were being attempted on my account were legitimate.

They wanted my bank card details. They had my name, e - address, and phone number. I even had a text off my bank about these fraudulent transactions. I inserted my bank card details but changed a couple of digits.

The upshot was, that was the end of it. It was obviously a phishing scam but my goodness, their ‘ PayPal ‘ web page was so convincing.

I’ve had several hundreds of pounds hacked out of my bank account in the past.

I’ve also received numerous texts and e-mails from sex sites, ( Not that I’ve the slightest interest in them, thank you ).

There are people out there who can hack virtually anything and everything about you, and most people put everything on line in some form or other, these days.

The digital age is a boon, but it can be a curse. It maybe the website messaged him and he foolishly joined to read the message. Maybe it’s an off shoot of KIK.

Or maybe he’s thrill seeking !?

But for him to lay out £6,000 on the one hand to make you happy, have a family and to progress with buying a house together, to at the same time seeking thrills on a sex site just doesn’t seem to feel right, with me.....

Tell him you’ve had a ‘ bizarre ‘ e - mail or text to join a sex site called Sextingkk.com which you are confused about, ask him if he’s received something similar......

If his face changes colour and he shits himself, you’ll pretty much know......

He your Partner likes the thrill of this seeing sexy images or naughty texts Only
It fulfils his fantastay its escapism outlet from the every day mundane boring rountine of life .

I think its also could welll his escapism from Lockdown stress isolation and loneliness of not seeing friends and other family members too

He does not take it further as to him he only sees being unfaithful as sleeping with someone else behind partners back !

Where as you see cheating being unfaithful as sexting texting and looking up sexual naughty photos of scantily clad women

Its a quike, quick Thrill illicit thing op

You both have fundamently different values/ views on a essential important aspect of a romantic or sexual relantship.

@Fabiofatshaft1 You should always check the sender's address on those phishing emails. Hover your mouse over the address on a laptop or click on the arrow next to their address on your phone.

You can check which devices are connected to your wifi router in case he has a second phone.

Look he realistic - he never stopped this shit the first time you caught him
He just got sneakier and smarter about hiding it from you . In reality he holds you in contempt as he thinks your stupid to believe his lies and bullshit . And if you stay with him he will carry on but change his user names get a separate phone that he keeps at work .
Do you really really want to go through the pain & stress of IVF with a sneaky lying fucker by your side .
You have absolutely no security as you aren’t married
No savings
You could end up pretty much homeless with a tiny baby and a lying piece of shit as a father
Just why would you put yourself through this

Although I would be trying to figure out away to get the fucker to transfer the money to you for the ivF - call it punitive damages for you having to live with a prick .
In fact I would find out if if the IVF is non refundable if it’s not I would get him to pay for it all then fuck him off
But I’m a vengeful cow

Not sure this is the kik I use as looks very different, I used fabswingers a few years ago and kik is very popular but never seen those profile images, maybe it's another version of kik
Happy to search username on the kik I use

Can you speak to the clinic on the quiet. As you'll be using a speed donor, not sure how the consents work. One option could be for you to to have a baby on your own. Worth investigating.

Sorry you're going through this.

*sperm, not speed

@Grinch48 Oh i have been thinking of ways to get my hands on some of his money don't worry! I'm just not a vindictive person but last time this happened, i showed my cards too quickly and didn't get the full facts. I panicked.

This time, i won't be as naive and I will be more in control

I don't know much about online chat sites or apps but I'm wishing you all the best OP.

Can you get him to pay for the IVF then postpone it for your use in the future?
Who is the lead tenant?