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Original poster

BF growing weed in my house

344 replies

suzievisor · 09/03/2021 11:06

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I had a sort of FWB who came to stay temporarily on the 1st Jan because he got kicked out of home. Almost 3 months on he's still here - no money to move out and refuses to. Intact the council and present as homeless.

I have a 14 year old daughter and I have mental health issues (no polar). I'm absolutely useless at standing up for myself and now everything has got out of hand.

One night we were drunk he said he thought he'd like to grow weed in my attic and I kind of shrugged it off thinking it was pie in the sky. Then just like that the seeds and pots etc. Started arriving.

I wish upon wish that I'd spoken up then but fast forward and he's actually set up the plants in my spare room! He's got 6 growing strong. Says it'll be a slap in the wrist if he's caught and that nothing will happen to me but I can't find anything online with a direct answer to this.

I'm terrified, not sleeping, snapping at my daughter. He's a serious cocaine addict too. I guess I'm scared of him he has a terrible temper plus no where to go right now. I just want my home back but I'm scared and I don't know what to do.

I guess I just want some words of wisdom if anyone's out there?

OP posts:

ProfessorSlocombe · 09/03/2021 11:57

@rulerbirds

Pick up the plants and Chuck them out of the front door. When he leaves to go get them, bolt the door so he can’t get in. Video him and call the police while he’s raging

If the police go in serious, they will dust the growing room for fingerprints. Not a great look for the OP if theirs are found inside.

The OPs take is the BF is a small time actor. It may be the police know different and decide to make a thorough investigation.

Weirdfan · 09/03/2021 11:59

Please just call the police OP, tell them exactly what you've told us and they will realise it's cuckooing and that you are the victim. I really don't think you'll be in any trouble, the plants are new so they will see that you've contacted them as soon as you knew he was growing, the fact that he's now becoming violent backs up that you only let him stay because you were afraid to ask him to leave. Please don't wait any longer, the police can help you and I don't think you should try to deal with him alone.

Bananalanacake · 09/03/2021 11:59

Let me guess, he doesn't work and has never given you money for bills. I also say call the police if he is throwing things.

JorisBonson · 09/03/2021 12:00

@suzievisor

I'm avoiding calling the police at all costs as I don't want social services involved

If (when) he gets caught, social services will be looking at you a lot closer. Even if they do get involved after you report him, surely it's better for them to see a mother who has done the responsible thing, rather than letting a drug addict grow weed in the house where a child lives.

ArthurBloom · 09/03/2021 12:01

@suzievisor

I'm scared they'll contact the CPS and what with my mental health issues it could be seen that I'm not able to care for her.

I've already had to move due to another abusive relationship. What the hell is wrong with me I always end up being coerced

You also said "I didn't know about the cocaine addiction until he'd already moved here and because he doesn't have anywhere else to go I now feel I can't kick him out."

Are you sure you are capable of caring for your daughter?
you are allowing a drug addicted criminal to grow drugs in your daughters home and you "Feel bad" about kicking him out?
your child deserves far better.

MissEverdene · 09/03/2021 12:03

You need to call the police, SS are very unlikely to renove a child as old as 14.

78percentLindt · 09/03/2021 12:04

Please call, the Police.Social Services are more likely to be involved if the cocaine and cannabis plants ome to light any other way
You are being coerced and cuckolded. Get some help.

Sstrongtn · 09/03/2021 12:06

Call the police and front it out, SS will respect that.

If you don’t you could end up in trouble with the police and social services and that will go a lot worse for you.

GettingItOutThere · 09/03/2021 12:07

kick him out! phone the police for support and get him out!

you will go down for that if you get caught. be honest and get rid of him today!

he isnt your problem and he wants you to feel like that! get rid!

Alfiemoon1 · 09/03/2021 12:08

Call to police and explain the situation

Lonelycrab · 09/03/2021 12:10

Agree that you must get this guy out.

Just another thing to think about- growing weed in your loft is incredibly easy to spot by the police. Their helicopters use thermal imaging cameras and anyone with a setup in the loft will be found out in no time.

LIZS · 09/03/2021 12:10

Call 101 and report it. People like him prey on vulnerable people and rely on silence and embarrassment. You probably are not the first or only one. Your priority is to protect your dd, before she normalises this behaviour and can be drawn in.

Lilye88 · 09/03/2021 12:10

Call the police and explain the situation. It’s called cukooing they take it seriously. It’s only going to get worse for you and your daughter. Please get some help 🙏🏻

midsummabreak · 09/03/2021 12:10

It is understandable that you are frightened when you are in such a vulnerable situation

Your daughter will be so glad that you got her out of there while he was behaving irrationally, damaging property and verbally abusing you.
Next step, call police to get help to reclaim your safe home.

LIZS · 09/03/2021 12:11

Ss will get involved if you do nothing.

MrsBobDylan · 09/03/2021 12:12

Of everything you've done wrong, the only thing which will really fuck up your life and your dd's is being more scared to SS than a random coke addicted, weed growing bully.

If you don't call the Police now and tell them everything, I would be very surprised if your situation resolved so that your dd wasn't in danger. She is a child, she deserves more than this.

UhtredRagnarson · 09/03/2021 12:12

SS will be involved and they need to be. You aren’t currently keeping your child safe.

boltfromtheblueblue · 09/03/2021 12:13

I can't have anything happen to my daughter

Too late. You've already moved a possibly violent homeless drug addict/drug dealer criminal into her home. She's at risk now.
Call the police and tell them everything. SS will be involved, as they should be.

Soubriquet · 09/03/2021 12:18

@suzievisor

I'm avoiding calling the police at all costs as I don't want social services involved

For gods sake call the fucking police

SS will take a dim view that you did’nt call the police when all this is going on.

They are more likely to intervene should he be caught now

CantBeAssed · 09/03/2021 12:22

Switch the lamps off..itl hopefully put the plants into shock...
And it will be you who will be arrested and charged as they are in your property...

GeidiPrimes · 09/03/2021 12:22

Call old bill, like others have said, you're being cuckoed. Better than one of your neighbours doing it, who may well do when they notice (if they haven't already) I'm guessing from what you've said he's not an experienced grower and won't make a good job of concealing his operation.

oakleaffy · 09/03/2021 12:23

@suzievisor

That's not a bad idea. Would he know? He'd lose it with me if he found out

Oh no.... That can be really serious if caught.

It will also make your electricity bill go through the roof.

Please tell him you will not allow it, you cannot allow it with children in the house.

You could kill the plants {any plant} with a systemic herbicide , but I would worry for your safety if he found out.

The utter cheek of it. So sorry.

midsummabreak · 09/03/2021 12:24

Well done on reaching out for help on here. You are doing the right thing telling this man you won’t have him and his drugs in your home.
The police will support you and your Dd to take a stand against this abusive lying man, and will listen to you and your daughter about his bullying, refusing to leave and financial, and verbal abuse

UhtredRagnarson · 09/03/2021 12:24

You better hope it doesn’t snow any time soon or the decision will be out of your hands.

Original poster

suzievisor · 09/03/2021 12:26

So she's with a friend and I'm home. He's packing everything up and seems to be leaving but I'm going to a friend's house anyway. He's not directly talking to me but muttering that I'm a cunt and never had his back, no one cares about him, he's got no where to go etc.

I need to tell my friend everything when I get there as she'll want to know why I'm breaking lockdown

OP posts:

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