Drinking in the morning - everyone does it, right?

[fedup078]

Even when they have young kids?
Totally normal yes?

Well he's just told me to ask around. Don't fancy asking my friends so here we are
I'm being told this is totally normal and everyone does it, so why shouldn't he.

During my teenage years I probably did do a lot of daytime drinking. Now though Christmas Day yes but only a Buck's Fizz or a mulled wine
An all inclusive holiday yes but even then I'll wait until mid day and have soft drinks or water in between and maybe on the very rare occasion I go out for a pub dinner and I aren't driving I'll maybe have one drink then but other than that it's maybe one or 2 drinks occasionally on a night time.

You know this already, but no not normal at all. MIL was an alcoholic for about 20 years, and she wouldn't even start til after 1pm.

I like a drink. Too much sometimes. Only time it’s been in the morning is Christmas/Wedding Day/ airport/ when I was young and still out.
He sounds like he has an alcohol dependency which can be surprisingly easy to disguise.

Red flag 🚩 red flag 🚩
The fact this is even being discussed says there is an issue.
You know that this is not normal.
He is trying to justify and normalise what he is doing. The fact he was hiding it tells you he knows it isn’t normal either. He’s secretive actions also indicate he has a problem.
Having seen this scenario occur in others relationships, it never ends well, unless he accepts he has a problem and seeks help. But it doesn’t appear as though he thinks he has a problem.
You need to think carefully about where you go from here.

Christmas or on holiday might have bucks fiz with breakfast or a cocktail by the pool (but 11 onwards so closer to lunch time) I dont drink really though apart from then.

Normal for my FIL. He loved a mug of red wine in the morning 🤦🏻‍♀️

If your dp can't accept he has a drink problem and a determination to beat it you have a long hard road in front of you op.

Dh was brought up with his mum and alcoholic dad still together. The damage is long lasting.

Immediate things to start with right now, never be in a car, or let your children be in a car with him driving . Ever. You can't trust him to think logically about their safety.

Drinking in the morning may become a bad habit, if you think you can't get through the day without it. I personally couldn't drink in the morning, as I wouldn't have consumed much food early on, and would feel tired thereafter, and would not feel like doing much for the rest of the day.

Champagne breakfasts on very special occasions is fine. Airport rules is fine. Drinking at home before lunch for any other reason is not normal and not healthy. He has a problem.

Sure, when I was 25 and weekend brunches often included unlimited mimosa! 10 years later and no way, unless I had about 6 days childcare arranged to allow me to recover from said day drinking!

In all seriousness, I hope you are OK OP, it must be a big stress for you.

Absolutely not normal unless you’re an alcoholic, or Christmas / airport / maybe a drink with a fancy brunch out?
I’m sorry this is happening and that he’s lying to you / himself and gaslighting you. Maybe it is normal for his friends / family.
Is he drink driving?

I started to drink early when I worked in City on investments. We had to start work at 6.00 to catch up and be ready for the stock market to open at 0800hrs.
Other companies took us to very long boozy lunches to pitch deals.
it really did get me drinking too much and I find it difficult now. But it is not normal and The City of London made it known that it was no longer acceptable. It has now stopped in mainstream companies. Every one is much more professional.
I avoided becoming an alcoholic by a whisker. I now hope to live longer.
Try and persuade him that it really is bad for him.
I am sorry if that is putting more work on you but as you live with him he has no one else.

Nope. Not normal at all. Several relatives are alcoholics and even they didn't start til later in the day.

No, not unless an alcoholic. My aunt was an alcoholic and offered me a dry martini at 8:30 one morning when I was staying at hers for a concert. I was like nah, bit early for me ta.

Not normal at all.

no, not normal.
I don't think most of the people I know even drink at lunchtime unless they are out eg for a pub lunch at the weekend.
No drinking if working until after work
No drinking if got to drive later in the day
No drinking as a general rule until evening.

No it isn't. Id be concerned if a partner of mine drank everyday never mind morning.

@fedup078

Even when they have young kids? Totally normal yes?

Well he's just told me to ask around. Don't fancy asking my friends so here we are
I'm being told this is totally normal and everyone does it, so why shouldn't he.

Cup of tea, yep! Alcohol 100% not!

No. As a student on an international rugby match day. Could imagine maybe for a birthday if friends wanted to, but generally never before lunch.

No they don’t.

I’d be livid if children in the house too. Certainly if he was caring for them alone.

You know this already, I'm sure, but of course it isn't.
Christmas day aside, it is not normal to drink alcohol in the morning.

I suppose, unless you did a survey of alcoholics.

Only normal for alcoholics, I’m afraid. Sorry to hear you’ve got this to face, op. Did you see it coming?

No definitely not the morning .
The only times it’s ok
Is at the airport on plane
Christmas Day
Wedding day even on Christmas Day I’m not keen till lunch time.
Every day is excessive and even during the day time is a treat pub lunch for example.
As a rule for me it’s after 8pm earlier at weekends with a meal sometimes but only if I’m not going to drive anywhere.

Hope you are ok OP. Do you think it's something that's been going on for a while or was it a case of the kids driving him crackers and him opening a beer at 11:30 on a Sunday as a one off. I don't think the latter is acceptable, BTW, but it's a different context to him topping up his morning coffee with vodka every day.

Nope.

I might have a drink if I went out for a pub lunch but even pre-covid that was becoming a rarer and rarer event.

Is the sun over the yard-arm? Not at 9.30am it isn't!