Drinking in the morning - everyone does it, right?

[fedup078]

Even when they have young kids?
Totally normal yes?

Well he's just told me to ask around. Don't fancy asking my friends so here we are
I'm being told this is totally normal and everyone does it, so why shouldn't he.

He's really reaching, isn't he?

Plan your exit from this relationship with due care. Such only ever go one way in terms of direction and that is down.

You can only save your own self here and your children need you as their parent. Your husband’s primary relationship is with drink.

Hell no, I often wonder how people manage it at the airport. That's the sign of a problem

At the airport 5 years ago pre dc??? he's really clutching at straws now!

The only two people I know who drank/drink in the morning are/were alcoholics- one now dead due to liver failure. The other spends her days topping up her liver with vodka while ringing all her family to tell them the latest reasons she hates them.

Normal for alcoholics maybe? I've had issues with alcohol in the past but i don't think I ever drank in the morning.

What happens for the rest of the day? I take it he isn't able to do much with the kids/round the house/drive anywhere? If I drank in the morning you'd probably find me asleep on the sofa by the afternoon.

I don't think I've ever had an alcoholic drink before lunchtime, even as a student and only if going out for lunch. I don't know anyone that drinks in the morning at home. That sounds like classi alcohol problem to me.

No, of course it's not normal or acceptable. You know that, we know that, even he knows that. However, he's not going to change if he doesn't want to, and if he doesn't care that you feel it's wrong then he's not going to give a flying fuck about strangers on the internet. He'll say that we all do it, we just pretend that we don't, or some other bullshit reason for not accepting it. But while you're on the case trying to prove that it's not normal you are nicely distracted and leaving him alone.

You don't need to prove anything to him, you're just wasting your time when you could be making plans to improve your life.

Christmas, weddings and holidays maybe. Also, night shift workers as DH used to come home from nights and have a few drinks before he went to sleep.
My mum drank in the mornings and died age 56.

I guess if you're trying to have a rational argument with a functioning alcoholic right now while he's been drinking this morning, that's only going to annoy you.

Can you and the children start watching a movie (silence from everyone time) or do an activity that sidelines him out of your immediate vicinity?

Make it clear you'll only engage when he's sober. It's not okay and not normal. Good luck.

The only times we ever do it:

Christmas morning champagne
Airport pre-flight pint

Nope never. My dad did he died at 47.
I occassionally day drink if im at an event etc but have never drank christmas morning, at the airport etc. Its the sign of a problem to me

Nope!

He’s an alcoholic. Even thought he doesn’t want to admit it yet.

Sorry OP, he needs help.

Nope, unless you are an alcoholic or me christmas morning and put too much Warninks Advocat in my snowball last year and dropped the trifle on the kitchen floor due to being tipsy. He is a functioning alcoholic and probably has alcohol stashed all over the place. You need to re think where you go from here OP.

He's an alcoholic. He's hiding his drinking, lying when he's caught and trying to make you think it's normal to drink in the morning. It's not and you know it. Make a decision - do you want to spend your life with a man who wastes family money on drink, lies about it, treats you like shit when he's caught by gaslighting you? Unless he accepts he has a problem and takes serious steps to tackle it, you are in for a life of hell with him.

Actually, reading your OP I had assumed that this is a regular thing, either every morning or every weekend morning. If it's once every 6 months then it's annoying but not an addiction.

Well obviously you’re going to get biased answers on here. If he saying “everyone” does it, he’s probably referencing his friends/family that happen to be alcoholics, so no amount of differing views on here will change his mind as his reality/peers are different

Never apart from Christmas Day when we have Bucks Fizz with brunch.

If it was normal, then talking about the "sun being over the yardarm" wouldn't be a thing.

Nope never. When I was younger, would sometimes wake up still feeling tipsy after a big late night and I hated that, can't imagine wanting to recreate it

No, not something I would class as normal - unless perhaps you are a shift worker, so early morning is your after work time.

@fedup078

I'm bloody livid I've had my suspicions for a while but caught him this morning He tried to lie to my face Now he's full on with the gaslighting

Lying is a trait of the personality of an alcoholic. They will lie about anything and everything. It is chronic and compulsive. . They will tell lies that are so obviously a lie and maintain the lie despite that.

(Denial and blaming are also tied up in this.)

A couple of times a year (so Xmas Day, maybe a boozy brunch (minus DC) to start a hen do or suchlike). Otherwise nope!

Nope. 6pm here at the earliest even at weekends and then no more after 11pm. Never before noon on Christmas Day or weddings.

Absolutely not ok. Hope your ok.