Will you ever just fuck off!

[MMfanalltheway]

That's what my father said to me a couple of hours ago. I questioned him comparing me to animals.
It was said coldly and in a sinister way. Will you ever just fuck off.
So I will. But I'm so upset.

It sounds like your dad is trying to have a relationship with you and is being clumsy about it. There must be more to this. Your dad didn't "compare you to cattle". He is a medic and probably thought he was being helpful. You blaming him for your complications, because you took his advice to heart, is really mean.

We tell each other to fuck off all the time, like would you ever just fuck off and leave me alone. They never do though so obviously it's not offensive enough here, but I'm Irish and we do seem to use bad language more affectionately here so probably not comparable.

I think it's funny that he compared people to animals like annoying if your his daughter but funny to me. Don't moan at him if you know what his response will be. What's the point? You know how he will respond so just moan at someone else when you just want to let off steam.

yeah, sounds like your Dad was just exasperated with his 'will you ever fuck off?' comment, and him comparing you to cattle a few years ago was hardly the end of the world, considering his job. Doesn't sound like he was being a cunt, just trying to tell you something that might help. Obviously, it didn't, and you still resent him for it. think that's more your issue than his. Sounds like you both need a wee break from each other.

As for effing and blinding... it depends on the fambo. Mine are all forever calling each other cunts and telling each other to fuck off. And that's just a normal teatime convo. When we go off... ooh, it's volcanic. Five minutes later, it's cups of tea again.

We tell each other to fuck off all the time, like would you ever just fuck off and leave me alone.

That's why I described how he said it as cold. I feel that he meant it and that's what upset me. He's my Dad and we rarely fall out. I was always closer to him than my Mum.

He's a vet and was giving you helpful advice based on his experience! I can see why he'd be pissed off if you're still bringing it up in a negative way when he CLEARLY didn't mean any harm. I'd tell someone to fuck off too, if they constantly had a go at me for talking in the context of my personal life's work and experiences, which most people do.

Except it nearly killed my child. I'm an adult human female, not a cow.

Just read your other posts. Yeah you're really angry and hostile towards PPs and I can't believe you compared yourself to a domestic violence victim simply becayse your dad told you to fuck off because you are always telling him where he went wrong in your eyes!

@SmeleanorSmellstrop

Just read your other posts. Yeah you're really angry and hostile towards PPs and I can't believe you compared yourself to a domestic violence victim simply becayse your dad told you to fuck off because you are always telling him where he went wrong in your eyes!

Possibly because he allowed my mother to abuse me as a child and I went on in later years to have a lovely relationship with a man who beat me up for his weekend entertainment? My father did nothing.

I idolised him as a child and he fell short of God when I became an adult. Anyway, he can fuck off. I never pleased him with my choices as I never went into the medical field like my siblings. Business? Lol. Might aswell have signed on the dole.

You need to seek professional help for the fact that you hold your dad personally responsible for something that was totally out of his control and isn't his fault. Its your anger about this which is clearly destroying your relationship. But reading this post it's clear that youve already decided yoyre the victim and nobody else can tell you otherwise. Although part of you must know, or you'd not have been so deliberately misleading at the beginning of the thread.

Cross post. I'm talking about the placenta

You sound ridiculous. You need help. It was not your father's fault your pregnancy went wrong. You sound like you always play the victim.

(posted too soon!) I'm talking about the placental abruption when I said you're angry at him for something l that's not his fault. Unfortunate timing that this crossposted with your comment about your mother's abuse.

Well if there are other issues you should have just said that and not made it all about the 'fuck off'. If your relationship is damaged then either fix it maybe with some family counselling or yeah, just call it a day.

Like a PP said, to keep active is pretty standard advice in pregnancy from any medical professional so really need to let that one go.

Possibly because he allowed my mother to abuse me as a child and I went on in later years to have a lovely relationship with a man who beat me up for his weekend entertainment? My father did nothing.

Drip feeding, much? What went on in your past doesn't excuse you being a shitbag to people in the present. You've been unpleasant on this thread. You have an attitude problem.

@MMfanalltheway

Snippy? Where?

Yes, he irritates me because he knows it all. You can't just moan. He has to tell you how to resolve the issue or what he would do. Sometimes I don't want to be TOLD like I'm 2, what to do.

You need to try to put yourself in other peoples shoes.

You just want to have a vent now and then and that is perfectly normal... To you.

To a person that is practical and solution focused, just having a moan isn't a concept they are familiar with.

Choose your audience. He is not the type to speak to unless you want honest advice.

@AmberItsACertainty

Possibly because he allowed my mother to abuse me as a child and I went on in later years to have a lovely relationship with a man who beat me up for his weekend entertainment? My father did nothing.

Drip feeding, much? What went on in your past doesn't excuse you being a shitbag to people in the present. You've been unpleasant on this thread. You have an attitude problem.

Quote me where I've been a shitbag. Thanks.

*You just want to have a vent now and then and that is perfectly normal... To you.

To a person that is practical and solution focused, just having a moan isn't a concept they are familiar with.

Choose your audience. He is not the type to speak to unless you want honest advice.*

Yes, he absolutely does not get moaning. It's an alien concept to him. He literally does not understand it. So he rings and you're pissed off and ranting randomly and he has to solve the problem by telling you to fucking exercise? Sorry Dad, last time you told me to exercise I nearly lost my child. So no, I won't be taking your advice. And I didn't ask for advice, you asked me how I was. I told you and you don't like it. God he hates me.

Do you really not realise that you’re coming across as incredibly angry and abrasive? It’s really abrasive to respond to a comment of ‘read above’ when clearly the posted had read above and was asking for further clarification. Then your posts all went downhill from there. I’m feeling anxious just reading your posts. I also think you would really benefit from therapy. You’re not coming across well. Your father is a separate issue and you can only work on yourself and your responses to him.

Apologies for making you anxious.

I doubt he hates you. I would think he is fed up with the dramatics which have probably been ongoing for a few decades. It sounds like you don’t let things go and move on, particularly if you can’t reconcile you are not right. I’d guess he is sick if it and finally indicated as much.

Stop blaming him for something that was not his fault. Any healthcare professional would encourage pregnant women to remain active. He is an animal doctor and his experience in this regard with animals is directly transferable to humans - not surprising given we are also a form of animal really. You ring him with problems, he tries to solve them based on his expertise and experience and you start the dramatic behaviour. You need to accept a fair degree of fault here and if you can’t do this and modify your behaviour you should go NC and leave him in peace.

Stop blaming him for something that was not his fault.

It was his fault.

I almost lost my daughter because of his 'advice'. I lived about 5 minutes from the hospital which saved DD1's life, otherwise I would have bled out. Why? Because I was trying to please my father by being 'active'. Yes, it's probably something better explored in therapy than on this place.

I'm surprised he rings at all tbh. I wouldn't.

@AnyName1

I'm surprised he rings at all tbh. I wouldn't.

Are you his new wife? You sound like her. He's happy though and that's all that matters apparently. Not the fucking fallout of the divorce. Not the fact that he views me as a pregnant COW.