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Original poster

How much did he/should he spend on your engagement ring?

455 replies

BlingRing1 · 03/03/2021 22:22

Just curious what everyone's thoughts are nowadays? I've heard of the '3 month's salary rule' (although i also heard it was 2 months and 1 month, so who knows!), but that's from a long time ago. Is it still relevant now? If not then what is better?

How much did he spend (either in £ or relative to salary)? Was it more or less than you thought/hoped he would?

Does it matter to you (honestly!)? Should it matter?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
1sunnyday23 · 08/03/2021 12:34

Don't know how much my ring cost but it's very simple and small and at the time we were young and had barely no money. Lots of student overdraft debt etc. I was only just 20.

I love my ring and we have been married for 18 yrs and together for 23.

What happened to it's the thought that counts ?

RosesAndHellebores · 08/03/2021 12:47

I don't thinknwedding rings should fall from "fashion" the moment the priest blessed our rings was indescribably spiritual and bound together the promises we had just made before God.

worriedwithhindsight · 08/03/2021 12:49

Mine cost £300 in 1990. It was a good amount of money to us at the time. It was an antique ring, 1930s daisy style. It's beautiful, and I still love it.

BitOfFun · 08/03/2021 13:31

@HairyChin

Bit of a flashy post op...

Mine was from
Tiffany. A few thousand, yes, but definitely not three months salary.

It really shouldn't matter

This is hilariously MN- if it was deliberate, then I salute your skills in satire Grin.

I've only just come to this thread, and I really don't understand the hostility to @BlingRing1- she has started a conversation on a site for conversation; she didn't shit in your garden Hmm.

BitOfFun · 08/03/2021 13:33

@MacbookHoHoHo

I’ve been proposed to 5 times. My favourite ring was the first, and the cheapest one - a really, really pretty little vintage opal, emerald and diamond thing. It was probably about £100.

The second one was a really ugly emerald thing. It just showed he didn’t know me at all. The rest were all diamond solitaires. Again, the prettiest was the cheapest. A sort of arty one from Hatton Garden. Square, not round. So pretty.

If you’re looking at it and calculating the cost, you’ve saddled yourself with the wrong person. When it’s the right person you honestly don’t care about the cost.

@MacbookHoHoHo, did you keep the rings?
Sitchervice · 08/03/2021 13:46

I didn't give two sh*ts about how my my engagement ring cost. It's not about value its about the meaning behind it. He said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Not buy me!

Sitchervice · 08/03/2021 13:47

correcting typo first my should be much

MacbookHoHoHo · 08/03/2021 17:05

5 times, bloody hell what's your secret? Lol xD

I know - it was a hideously boastful post. And misleading - one of the blokes proposed 2 or 3 times (I always said no), so it’s only 4 different men. I’ve been married twice.

did you keep the rings?

I only kept the engagement ring from my first marriage (and then sold it when we divorced 😆 ) and my current one from the lovely second husband. The rest I gave back. I thought you had to.

happymummy12345 · 08/03/2021 19:49

@HotDogHotDiggityDog "cheap registry office weddings"? Really? A bit rude. Yes it costs less to get married in a registry office, but that DOES NOT make it a 'cheap wedding'.
Getting married in a registry office is not and should not be seen as a quick cheap second rate type of wedding at all.
My registry office wedding cost between £4000 to £4500, we had everything we wanted and more. It was perfect.

PointyMcguire · 08/03/2021 19:53

No idea how much mine cost, all I do know is he designed it himself with great thought to ensure it fit with my lifestyle (we have horses so I’d have hated something with a raised profile because it’d catch on everything). I love it despite not really being a jewellery person and couldn’t care less if it cost £20 or £20k.

HotDogHotDiggityDog · 08/03/2021 22:04

[quote happymummy12345]@HotDogHotDiggityDog "cheap registry office weddings"? Really? A bit rude. Yes it costs less to get married in a registry office, but that DOES NOT make it a 'cheap wedding'.
Getting married in a registry office is not and should not be seen as a quick cheap second rate type of wedding at all.
My registry office wedding cost between £4000 to £4500, we had everything we wanted and more. It was perfect.[/quote]
I apologise if I offended you with that comment, it certainly wasn't my intention. As I said in my post I have known couples from both ends of the spectrum with marriages that didn't last and the particular couple I was referring to in my post had the most simple, no frills registry office wedding on the tiniest shoe string budget, nothing like £4500. I wasn't insinuating that all registry office weddings were cheap. I was just speaking about one particular one.

I am also not saying that a big fancy wedding is any better than a cheaper one, just that from my circle of friends and family, I haven't noticed a correlation between cheapest wedding/ring = longest lasting marriage or vice versa.

ShrikeAttack · 09/03/2021 03:42

Blimey.

Three months worth would have been 100k.

No. That's a bit mad.

Plus mine would have been about 100k a month.

ShrikeAttack · 09/03/2021 03:43

I'm not into a 500k rock.

NeedSomeInfoAgain · 09/03/2021 04:19

£50 (second-hand). Didn't go through with marriage though.

ShrikeAttack · 09/03/2021 06:33

Register Office.

I had a Register Office wedding.

I'm not religious. It would have been hypocritical to do anything different.

I'm also not into pomp and circumstance.

wanderlnst · 09/03/2021 06:45

3 months salary would be a joke!

Mine was £4800.

katand2kits · 09/03/2021 07:12

Zero pounds here. Like my husband, I just wear a wedding ring. The wedding rings were purchased out of joint funds and cost similar amounts (nothing crazy like three months income!). I do not see why a woman needs an engagement ring at all. Men have been managing just fine without them.

RoseLimeade · 09/03/2021 09:02

[quote happymummy12345]@HotDogHotDiggityDog "cheap registry office weddings"? Really? A bit rude. Yes it costs less to get married in a registry office, but that DOES NOT make it a 'cheap wedding'.
Getting married in a registry office is not and should not be seen as a quick cheap second rate type of wedding at all.
My registry office wedding cost between £4000 to £4500, we had everything we wanted and more. It was perfect.[/quote]
There’s honestly nothing wrong with a cheap wedding though, and plenty of people do choose the register office option because you can do it very cheaply. Our wedding cost £400. Including rings! Neither of us were bothered at all about a big wedding and just wanted to be married.

It was still lovely, we had six guests (our closest family only), the only thing we had to organise and choose was which songs to choose and which vows to select from the handbook.

We did go for lunch after which was about £100 but my dad very kindly offered to pay the bill. It was my dream wedding :)

Wanderlust20 · 09/03/2021 09:24

First one was cheap, no more than £600, but we were young!

Second one (my now DH) was £2k (it's worth double that though, we got it through a diamond merchant). I didn't ask him to spend that, he had saved and wanted to. Definitely not 3 months salary though! That would have been a ridiculous amount.

RoseLimeade · 09/03/2021 09:35

@Wanderlust20

First one was cheap, no more than £600, but we were young!

Second one (my now DH) was £2k (it's worth double that though, we got it through a diamond merchant). I didn't ask him to spend that, he had saved and wanted to. Definitely not 3 months salary though! That would have been a ridiculous amount.

I think I live in a different world if a £600 ring is cheap 😂
Suagar · 10/03/2021 00:43

@wanderlnst

3 months salary would be a joke!

Mine was £4800.

@wanderlnst £4800 is 3 months salary for some people...
RosesAndHellebores · 10/03/2021 06:38

A £20k wedding with photo booth and chocolate fountain is a far cheaper affair than a £450 registry office wedding where the emphasis is on marriage.

The best thing about my engagement ring is that I chose it (dh doesn't shop) and dh paid for it Grin

wanderlnst · 10/03/2021 07:10

@Suagar that's very true I just meant in general that people should live within their means.

For reference, my engagement ring cost more than my wedding.

IJustWantSomeBees · 10/03/2021 15:08

@BlingRing1 I agree with you OP, and did not find your post 'grabby' at all. I think a lot of women have really bought into the whole 'gold digger' concept and internalised it. Many women, whether consciously or unconsciously, still find the idea of women taking anything from a man very uncomfortable. We have been taught that women are the ones who give and we should be nothing other than eternally grateful for anything a man deigns us worth being gifted. I'll pass on that logic, thanks, a millionaire who dons designer clothes and is a property tycoon buying his fiancée a £70 ring from the high street is sending a message about how much he values his wife imo.

It's fine if you lot aren't into big engagement rings but you sure could tone down the judgment for those of us who feel differently to you.

IJustWantSomeBees · 10/03/2021 15:13

Also to all those saying 'it's the thought that counts', do people really think that the financial aspect of a gift can NEVER be an insight into how much thought someone has put into it? Not the only aspect, yes, but I definitely think it counts for something.

The engagement ring is something you will theoretically wear for the rest of your life, if a rich man bought me a cheap trinket that would turn my finger green then I definitely think, as I said above, that that tells me something about how much he values me, our future marriage, and how generous he is. I've seen enough posts on MN of women being financially abused by stingy, cruel husbands to know that I want NOTHING to do with a man who is not generous when means allow it to the person he is supposed to love most in this world.

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