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Original poster

Online dating in your 40s.. part 4

622 replies

Shayelle2009 · 18/02/2021 07:31

The sagas continue.. SmileBrew

OP posts:
Isitreally7777 · 20/03/2021 10:30

Good luck @bangheadhere40 I hope it goes well.

bangheadhere40 · 20/03/2021 10:33

Thanks guys 🙂

Been chatting about 4 weeks, I originally said I didn't think we would be romantically matched as his selfies weren't great and he used to text me all the time! The texting has calmed down since then and so we've agreed to meet more as 'friends' than a date.

Jeez I'm still so nervous though I'm shaking.

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 20/03/2021 11:09

Ooh exciting @bangheadhere40!! Let us know the lowdown ☺️☺️

OP posts:
bangheadhere40 · 20/03/2021 11:13

I will.

I'm waiting now, decided to just meet ASAP rather than panicking all day. He should be here in 10 mins 😬😬😬😬

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 20/03/2021 11:18

It will be fine, its an experience isnt it and at least its something fun and different to do in lockdown even if he isnt the man of your dreams!! Well done for being brave 😆😆

OP posts:
TheCatWithTheHat · 20/03/2021 12:29

Good luck @bangheadhere40! How did it go? Hopefully the nerves disappeared and he was better than expected!

LuckyLinda3 · 20/03/2021 13:37

Hi everyone, happy Saturday and all the best with chats and dates over the weekend. I've had a bit of a break from here but feel rotten today. I've had lots of likes and messages this week but all from men in Dublin, 3hrs away..@Mayzee will be able to relate geographically!! An old school friend contacted me to see if I'd be interested in being his bit on the side and then when in online I'm seeing my ex iron all the time and my self esteem is bruised thinking is this how men see me. Aw I know it's only a blip and I'll be back but it does get to me at times. I have so much more to offer than just sex..even if I do enjoy that too. I dont know why I cant shake the last one ..maybe its just because it was the first real interaction since I separated and even though I know he wasnt investing I gave him way more credit than I should have. This emotional stuff is not easy. That said I'm learning...I will pace myself better next time. I will mirror effort. It's really great to be able to reach out here.

bangheadhere40 · 20/03/2021 14:23

Thanks everyone, I'm back now.

As expected I didn't really fancy him but he seemed a nice guy...I've no idea what he thought of me, will see if he messages me later.

I can't see anything romantic I don't think, but would be okay staying in touch if he wants to be friends.

He never asked me any questions though...I asked him quite a lot.

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 20/03/2021 16:04

Hey @LuckyLinda3 try not to let it get to you... a lot of men are just sex obsessed literally every woman has to put up with it.. maybe take a break if its getting you down? Flowers

OP posts:
LuckyLinda3 · 20/03/2021 16:15

@Shayelle2009 thanks, you're right. I've had to stop myself messaging a few times...I know I'm worth more than what my ex was giving. I think it will all come good for all of us, just takes time.

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 20/03/2021 16:51

Do you see him online on the dating app Linda or whatsapp? If its whatsapp you could just delete his number and messages so you cant see when hes online/drive yourself crazy x

OP posts:
Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 20/03/2021 16:56

@bangheadhere40 ive found that before been for a drink with someone and if it wasnt for me making convo we’d have sat there in silence. I put it down to them having no social skills/personality Confused

OP posts:
LuckyLinda3 · 20/03/2021 17:25

@Shayelle2009 you're so kind. Naw I deleted him on WhatsApp, I see him on the dating app.

bangheadhere40 · 20/03/2021 17:42

Aw Linda nothing worse is there! Saw my old iron on there and it's so horrible 😞

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 20/03/2021 18:23

Can you block him on the app? Its horrible to keep torturing yourself 😔

OP posts:
Mayzee · 20/03/2021 18:36

Ha ha @LuckyLinda3 I always seemed to attract the men in Cork, also 3 hours away! I second blocking your ex on the app as I remember the first time I saw my ex from last year on the app- it was like a slap!
A lot of what you said on your post resonated with me. I seemed to attract all the men that wanted to pop by for sex Confused when it was quite clear from my profile that I wanted a relationship.
I’m currently seeing Mr TG but his effort and I suspect interest level is waning. I calculated today we first matched 4 months ago and have seen each other 9 times! He doesn’t seem in the least bit bothered by this. I really want to have a conversation with him but face to face, not over text, but if we can never meet how the hell can that happen? I’m starting to think mirroring effort and giving up initiating dates etc is what I need to do until we can talk.
I really like him and when we are together he is just lovely, but the current situation is not enough. Aside from liking him, the only thing stopping me ending things is that with lockdown things are difficult for everyone and I’d love to see how things go once everything opens up.

LuckyLinda3 · 20/03/2021 19:29

Ladies can I just say the kindness and compassion you've given me means so much. I was having a really shitty day and I can truly say you have lifted my spirits.Thank you all💐

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 21/03/2021 08:32

Hope you feel better today @LuckyLinda3 x

OP posts:
LuckyLinda3 · 21/03/2021 08:44

Aw @Shayelle2009 I really do. Thank you.

cravingthelook · 21/03/2021 09:37

I feel like I'm missing out not being here with you too!!

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 21/03/2021 11:27

Hi @cravingthelook 😊

OP posts:
LuckyLinda3 · 21/03/2021 15:26

Hi all..hope your day is going well. I was going great guns until my exh arrived a while ago and launched into telling me that he had a lady back to his house on Friday night and while DTD he called out my name. Dont get me wrong I really feel for the lady but I'm annoyed that he has so little respect for me to think that's acceptable to discuss with me. It's still a big thing 18mths later to get my head around and I dont want those details. On the plus side I got chatting to a fella online last night and we had the best craic messaging all evening. He messaged again earlier today so we will see.

Isitreally7777 · 21/03/2021 17:09

@LuckyLinda3 if it makes you feel better, I just did the most cringe worthy, hoping a hole would swallow me up thing. I wrote a message to Computer Geek with no intention of sending it but instead of deleting it I pressed send. I was dying of embarrassment inside, now I will just have to ride it out and explain when he reads it and responds. I did tell a friend what I wrote and she said it wasn't actually bad (it was how I put my feelings to the side when he told me he was heartbroken when his ex told him it was over for good). I just shouldn't have sent it as he is taking a break and I'm trying to respect that by not messaging.

LuckyLinda3 · 21/03/2021 17:15

Aw @Isitreally7777 I feel for you but I'm sure its not that bad. Sometimes I think we need to say how someones behaviour affects us...it takes strength and we do deserve better💐

Isitreally7777 · 21/03/2021 17:21

@LuckyLinda3 thank you. I think it was something that should have been said last week but it's done now. Hopefully he will understand and it wasn't anything horrible.

As for your ex, mine says stuff like that I don't think they think like us.