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Original poster

Online dating in your 40s.. part 4

622 replies

Shayelle2009 · 18/02/2021 07:31

The sagas continue.. SmileBrew

OP posts:
bangheadhere40 · 15/03/2021 13:06

Lol...we talked about maybe meeting this weekend, depending on if we have kids etc. I do think he's a genuine one and it's good he's stopped the constant messages. I will have to see when I meet him if there's any spark. I've told him I don't think there will be and he still seems keen to be mates anyway 🤔

Are you going to meet homeless? Have you not ran out of things to message about 😄😄

bangheadhere40 · 15/03/2021 13:08

I've been on the apps...got talking to one guy but he soined turned into a strange one. Talking about some very bizarre things, apart from him no one new for me.

Mr Hospital sounds promising too.😊

pineappleonpizzaornot · 15/03/2021 13:33

Definitely running out of things to talk about, and he really doesnt seem to be making much effort either, so cant see a meet will happen with Homeless to be honest! Oh well! Wasnt meant to be!
Mr Hospital seems very nice, but he does have 3 children and 2 are very young that he has half the time.....Ive done my kids and being restricted to what I can and cant do, not sure I want to do that again! Please dont judge me!
Who got intouch with who @bangheadhere40 - Did Spreaders unblock you and message you?

bangheadhere40 · 15/03/2021 13:42

No judgement...mine are older as well ( teenagers). I would find it quite off-putting having a guy tied to very young kids, don't judge me either!

Yeah he did...he wanted to say sorry for blocking me.

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 15/03/2021 16:44

Hey @pineappleonpizzaornot! Ahh that is a shame about Homeless, I think its a tricky time to be chatting to people when its not easy to meet up, the messagaging can just get too much cant it? I just find it gets annoying. Maybe you guys will meet one day, who knows... glad youve got a new one to chat to though! I never unblocked mr physical ive just got this feeling he’ll start messaging me as soon as i do and unfortunately once I feel like a guy’s just going to be irritating there’s no going back. Im glad to be off the apps just having some time out for now.

Oh @bangheadhere40 well if hes a decent guy and hes calmed down then i hope it goes well for you 😊😊

OP posts:
cracracatlady · 16/03/2021 07:15

I’ve just had another blinder, seemed normal, matched. He messaged so I messaged back, he then sends “so no x on your message, I know you’re type and what you’re about, no wonder you’re still single at your age, you can jog on. Have a nice life”

I mean 🤯🤯, what the hell is wrong with these men

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 16/03/2021 07:37

Wow I wonder what is actually going on in their heads....!!! 🤯🤯

OP posts:
bangheadhere40 · 16/03/2021 07:44

Omg! I have no idea what is wrong with them...they have a real issue with women though! Lucky escape there i think.

cracracatlady · 16/03/2021 09:10

Unbelievable isn’t it. Suppose we should all be glad when they show their true colours so soon

havecourage · 17/03/2021 08:49

Hi ladies, I've been following the thread the last while as I started OLD for the first time. Yesterday I had my first walking date. I have been texting the guy for the past 2 months and have been getting on pretty well. We live on opposite sides of the country but he happened to be nearby for work yesterday so we met up outdoors.
I have to say I preferred the version of him I had in my head from texting. He came across a bit hyper and kept changing topics of conversation randomlyHmm. He also had a massive gap between his teeth, when all of his photos had been with his mouth closed so I had no idea. Basically I knew after a minute I didn't really fancy him.
He text after about meeting up again and I replied that I thought I would be suited to someone a bit more chilled out. He said he didn't really feel at ease on walking dates and would prefer the pub, which I would too. It was the first time I have ever met someone from OLD after 4 years of marriage separation so in fairness I was probably a bit uneasy too. I think such a long period of texting makes it hard to let someone down gently and puts a lot of pressure on the meet up as well. In future post lockdown I think an earlier meeting is more advisable to stop wasting time.
Although the date wasn't all that I hoped I am proud of myself for taking that step, giving it a go and hopefully it won't be as scary for future dates.
Thanks for sharing all of your experiences, it's very helpfulSmile

ArriettyCArriettyC · 17/03/2021 09:08

Have courage: well done for getting out there. And I think you're right - too long texting is difficult. Have you said anything to him? I'm exactly the same - don't like a gap between front teeth as it reminds me of my old boss! And I agree - I often fancy people more by texting than in person. Do you think it's worth another go?

havecourage · 17/03/2021 22:10

thanks @ArriettyCArriettyC. Yeah I thought texting for a good while would suit me starting off as there would be no pressure to meet when I don't really know what I'm doing or what I'm looking for. Now I realise it's a bit futile if you don't fancy thr person in real life.
He asked if he could have another chance as he was nervous, so I said ok, but I'm 99% sure he's not for me. I'll probably need to get tougher at cutting people off with this OLD lark😀

Isitreally7777 · 18/03/2021 09:50

So Computer Geek and I had a row on Friday. Things were said on both sides which were quite hurtful. We agreed that we didn't want to fall out and left it. I won't go into what was said or how it started but it wasn't one sided and we gave equally(not sure who started it either). I know I'm fiery but it seems he is just as fiery.

He has my number, I'm not blocked (he read my message yesterday, my first since Friday), he knows where I live, in fact we are still matched on Tinder. He said he will be back when he has sorted himself out (not sure in what form or whether I'll still be around).

But note to self, learn when to keep your mouth shut. Sometimes it's for the best. 🤦‍♀️

pineappleonpizzaornot · 19/03/2021 09:42

I have a small gap in between my front teeth Sad

havecourage · 19/03/2021 10:59

Hi @pineappleonpizzaornot, I'm sorry if I offended you by saying that. This guy had a massive gap, it was like there were 1or 2 teeth missing. That said if we had a good connection in person and conversation it wouldn't have put me off. God knows I'm far from perfect myselfHmm

bangheadhere40 · 19/03/2021 11:00

Hi everyone...

How are you doing with homeless and hospital pineapple? Hope your tooth is okay.

Isitreally sorry to hear about your row...I had lots of those with my last iron 😡 are you guys still speaking?

Still undecided whether to meet spreaders or not. We've not arranged anything but if I asked he would. I'm quite curious after speaking for so long.

pineappleonpizzaornot · 19/03/2021 11:50

hi @bangheadhere40 - Im ok thanks, Hospital stopped chatting after 5 messages, so I unmatched, I was supposed to call Homeless last night, but fell asleep....messaged this morning and apologized....he then BLOCKED me on all social platforms!!
I wasn't that bothered about meeting him tomorrow - but he didnt need to be so brutal!! Anyway - I found him on FB and sent him a quick message, saying there was no need to be so rude, and he was obviously very immature Grin.
Are you still chatting to spreaders with ease now, he hasnt started ramping it up again?
@havecourage - Its ok, I worry a small gap would put people off - and then I read your comments, and I thought oh for fucks sake, it obviously does Shock

bangheadhere40 · 19/03/2021 11:57

Oh god he blocked you!!!! That's ridiculous it really is...a lucky escape then it seems, but still incredibly rude just the same.

Yeah kind of chatting to him still, I don't think I will like him romantically but he's easy to talk to and just curious really as he seems a lovely guy.

Isitreally7777 · 19/03/2021 11:58

@bangheadhere40 I've not heard from him since Friday so not sure if we are still talking, as I said not blocked though so I suppose it's just a matter of him making the next move. I apologised for what I said (I did call him a liar though so he is probably still hurt 😬).

I would say meet Spreaders just out of curiosity.

bangheadhere40 · 19/03/2021 11:59

He's not hounding me anymore so that's good.

Don't worry about your teeth...I don't mind gaps in teeth, sure it's fine x

pineappleonpizzaornot · 19/03/2021 12:05

yeah he just blocked me on every platform apart from FB - but we weren't friends on that.

I wasn't enamored by his personality, but I was willing to see how tomorrow went, and I would certainly never have just blocked him without a word, I do think over 3 weeks worth of chat deserves at least a "its not you, its me" kinda message......he is obviously very weak, and shit at communicating, neither are what I am looking for!

I think if you were to meet spreaders, do it sooner rather than later - even though you arent doing it for romantic reasons Smile

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 19/03/2021 15:27

Hey everyone 👋 oh @pineappleonpizzaornot i always kinda envy people with a gap in their front teeth i think it looks pretty cool! Madonna’s got one and she looks amazing!
Unbelievable about Homeless how weird to do that after all your chats? Then i blocked physical but only because i thought he’d be bombarding me with more texts after I cancelled our meet up.. Im back on tinder got about 10 matches and they're all good looking but none of them have said a word, and i cant be arsed to. Just feels like such an effort 😂😂

OP posts:
bangheadhere40 · 20/03/2021 10:14

Okay so I'm going to meet Spreaders at lunchtime. No idea what to expect!

bangheadhere40 · 20/03/2021 10:21

I hate these nerves....I don't know why I'm even nervous.

ArriettyCArriettyC · 20/03/2021 10:29

Bankhead - great you're meeting him. How long have you been chatting? Don't be nervous - it's as much you seeing if he's suitable for you as the other way round