What’s your relationship like with your sister-in-law?

[Takemetoasunnyplace]

I have two SIL. My brother’s wife, and DH’s sister.

Brother’s wife is lovely, although they live far away so don’t see them much, but she’s a wonderful person & I am proud to have her in my family.

DH’s sister lives close by. I’ve tried to be friendly but it’s not reciprocated and I really don’t get the impression she likes me. We’ve both recently had our first children & I think it would be nice if the cousins could have the opportunity to be friends, which is probably why it bothers me so much.

Also I’ve come to live in the area where DH grew up and am many miles away from my own family and friends so it would be great to have a friendly relationship with SIL. But I guess that’s not the case & accept she’s entitled to dislike me / not want to become friends for whatever reason.

What relationship do you have with your SIL? If not great, have your kids still managed to be close cousins?

[Unfashionable]

SIL & I get on perfectly well when we meet but we are not, and have never been, close. We are very different people with very different backgrounds, interests, values and levels of education so we have little in common. If we were not in-laws, we would not be friends.

[Round203]

I’m struggling with mine at the moment so this thread is perfect timing!

She is incredibly close to my partner but makes absolutely no effort with me at all though I still make an effort with her and try. There’d be a lot of awkward silences if I didn’t instigate the conversations.

The latest is that she’s guilt tripping my partner because we’re away for my birthday and he won’t be able to make her 7 year old son’s birthday party. She’s known we’ll be away for weeks now but has said she “expects” him to be there, even if he goes on his own.

I’m really not sure what to do. My partner thinks she’s the most wonderful woman to walk the Earth and doesn’t see how expecting us to curtail our plans and making him feel uncomfortable and awkward (his words not mine) is wrong.

Any advice?!

[2ndMrsdeWinter]

I know my SIL (DH’s sister) wants us to be close. But I can’t. She makes me cringe and I feel like I’m suffocating when I spend time with her. She’s not a horrible person; however her values are not in line with mine and I find her too much.

[Twizbe]

I don't really get one with DH's sister anymore. She's just on her own little planet really. I'm pretty sure she has ADD but never diagnosed. She lives close but keep our distance. She's single with no kids so we don't have that to connect on. She doesn't even know when our kids birthdays are...

My brother's partner is lovely. I'm not close to my brother though so don't really get to see her much. She's way too nice for him lol.

[frerecoler]

I actually hate my SILS's. Not something I say often.
DH's sister is a nightmare, he and his brother are very LC. I have banned her from being introduced to my children or speaking to them.

B's wife is a hard nosed snob who doesn't like any of us, so Bro went NC with the entire family. Sad for my parents but I have no time of day for them.


I love DH's SILS. My Dsis and his DB's wife are just wonderful people and we are all close. My BIL's are both amazing too.

[Chronicallymothering]

I consider my husband's sister to be the best 2 for 1 deal I ever had. We're on similar wavelengths and there's no drama. She's more like a friend really

[Pinkyxx]

One SIL, she literally hates my guts always has I've no idea why. It used to upset me as she's so unpleasant at family gatherings - either making dreadful comments to me or ignoring me completely / walking out of the room if I walk in. Makes everyone feel very uncomfortable.

Refuses to get the children together, complains about every Christmas gift she's given... even told me to stop buying her children birthday presents?

I was very close to my brother until he met her but it upset her that we used to have lunch together occasionally so we stopped. Now we've both got children etc so don't see much of each other really.. its sad but I love my brother way too much to fuss about it so I just suck it up. Upsets our Mum though as it is all so unncessary!

[PermanentTemporary]

A bit failed tbh, mostly my fault. Haven't read the whole thread because I'm afraid I'll recognise myself.

My brother's wife - better in recent years but we are very rarely in touch. I'm not much use to her. We are quite different but actually have come to see the positives in each other over time. I'm afraid she sees me as a bulwark against my sister, which I'm not.

Dh's sister - is very undemanding but finds relationships quite difficult and really we are down to Christmas cards now.

Dh's brother's wife. Well. I adored her at one time but looking back I was always the one chasing for a closer relationship. Not surprisingly her loyalty is to her husband and her blood family, her husband has hurt me to a level I have barely recovered from and I have lost motivation to keep seeing them.

SIL is probably my least favourite relationship now. It's too hard.

[CatherinedeBourgh]

Nonexistent with both, but they live far.

[Notmrsfitz]

I have 5 sister in laws -all of them very different all of them fabulous!!
I’m blessed!!

[Mommabear20]

Both on DH side are nice, and I do see one a fair but as we have kids of similar ages, the other only at family gatherings. My brothers wife is friendly but I only see or speak to her if I initiate it. My DS is over a month old and they've not made any effort to come meet him yet despite brother wfh with every weekend off and SIL being on mat leave 🤷‍♀️

[Whatadolt]

My DHs brothers wife is dead so it's the perfect relationship.
She caused so much heart ache for my PIL and us.
I have never known anyone so nasty to everyone she met.
She had 5 sisters who she was vile too they hadn't spoken to her since
she was 21. Even then she caused them all problems.
Lost lots of jobs because of her hatred of others.
She Fu**ed up her children. BIL is and was oblivious to the fallouts.
She died at 69.

[NaToth]

DH's DB's DW - cordial, but distant. They live ten minutes away, but we very rarely see them.

DH's sister? Also ten minutes away, but in the other direction. She has not spoken to me for ten years after she fell out with me over sandwiches for DMIL's birthday party.The way she treated her DM, who had dementia, was so utterly appalling that I don't think I ever want to speak to her again anyway.

Sadly, DH, like the rest of us, couldn't choose his family.

[Rukia]

One of DH’s sisters is low contact with the entire family and no one has seen her for a few years. The other I get on fine with, but we’re not really friends. We have nothing in common and wouldn’t be friends naturally if I wasn’t with her brother. She and DH aren’t close and have little in common, and both have quite separate relationships with their parents, so it’s not like it makes anything awkward. There’s no reason for us to hang out. We are quite close to her DC as DH was very involved in his early life, and he stays with us regularly. The relationship between DH and SIL faded as the DC got old enough in his early teens (he is young adult now) to come to our house alone without needing a lift.

No SIL on my side of the family, but BIL (sister’s husband) and I get on very well. He’s someone who DH and I would probably be friends with even if we hadn’t met through my sister, which is the thing that makes the difference, as we have plenty in common.

[ApplesAreTheBaneOfMyLife]

Polite but distant.

One lives 2 hours away, the other 4 hours away and we rarely meet.

One has always been a bit annoying. I don’t think she ever thought I was good enough for dh. I used to like the other until she told me she does a lot of recreational drugs.

[Marmite27]

My DH’s sister is nice enough. We get on ok, have been on nights out, share similar values and taste (often liking the same clothes and turning up in the same thing which can cause friction!). She’s my children’s guardian.

My DB’s wife was frosty to start with, it was felt as a family we ‘weren’t good enough’. She can still be quite stand offish. I became pregnant with our first while she was pregnant with their first and after the ridiculous rush to get married before us there was much mumbling about thunder stealing. Then they announced they were having a second really early (about 6 weeks) and I’d just got a positive test that morning cue more muttering. It turns out those second pregnancies were both very high risk so we bonded a bit. She absolutely adores my kids (and they love her to bits) along with my brother she’s the kids back up guardian.

My DB didn’t come first as guardian, as they have kids the same age as ours and we felt it would be unfair. However we’re their kids first guardians, so if we get theirs, then we die DH’s sister could end up with 4 kids she took a deep breath and said, hopefully it won’t ever come to that

Both SiL’s were my bridesmaids.

I’m also very close to my BiL’s wife. She’s loud, opinionated and annoying but I love her to bits. Several things have happened in our lives that would have brought us together no matter what (proper woo stuff). We always say we’re meant to be in each other’s lives

I’m quite lucky really. My mum and MiL are good ‘uns too. No ones afraid of a strong woman in our families

[brittleheadgirl]

With my actual sil? A bit shit sadly.

I've got 3 from my previous marriage though and I still have a great relationship with them

[Notashandyta]

Done my best but all one way.

She doesn't have kids and I wanted her in our kids' lives, but she doesn't seem interested.

What's really annoying is she sends the odd innane text saying something like 'I miss you all so much' With a teary emoticon, and like a fool I fall for it every time and send an invite a couple of days later to meet up (her and her husband live ten mins up the road) and she sends back something like, 'oh that will be nice, really hope we can make that date" and nothing else.
Ridiculous.
Before lockdown we saw a bit more of her, butbit was all one way. Not once did they ask us anywhere

[Bluenotgreenmilk]

I have 3 brothers and two sil’s
One was my bestie-until she got the ring on her finger and she dumped me like a hot potato
The other one I’ve never met but she tries to cause so much trouble for me-through my children
I just ignore it-she doesn’t know me so anything she does or has to say just goes over my head

[barnanabas]

One SIL (DH's sister). Didn't get on especially well at first - I was friends with DH for several years before we became a couple, and she thought I was high maintenance/high drama etc (she may have had a point!). I though DH was blind to her faults and put her on a bit of a pedestal (I think I had a point too).

When DH and I got together, we agreed (through him, I think, I can't remember ever talking to her about it) to start afresh and over the years have built up a really good relationship. We live close to each other now and have kids close in age and our lives are all closely intertwined. This has meant some brief disagreements over the years, but nothing we haven't been able to work through. It's one of the most important relationships in my life - she and her DH would be/have been my 3am crisis phone call, and are also a big part of our social life. I'm very lucky.

[Movingsoon21]

I love my brother’s wife but we don’t live near each other so I don’t get to see enough of her.

My husband’s brothers’ wives… one is lovely in person but very distant in between times, and the other one is truly awful - rude, nasty, spiteful. I have some friends in a similar situation to me and we always say we wish we had married brothers so we could be great SILs with one another!