What’s your relationship like with your sister-in-law?

[Takemetoasunnyplace]

I have two SIL. My brother’s wife, and DH’s sister.

Brother’s wife is lovely, although they live far away so don’t see them much, but she’s a wonderful person & I am proud to have her in my family.

DH’s sister lives close by. I’ve tried to be friendly but it’s not reciprocated and I really don’t get the impression she likes me. We’ve both recently had our first children & I think it would be nice if the cousins could have the opportunity to be friends, which is probably why it bothers me so much.

Also I’ve come to live in the area where DH grew up and am many miles away from my own family and friends so it would be great to have a friendly relationship with SIL. But I guess that’s not the case & accept she’s entitled to dislike me / not want to become friends for whatever reason.

What relationship do you have with your SIL? If not great, have your kids still managed to be close cousins?

[RobinsEggBlue]

My sister in law (brother’s wife) is a thoroughly excellent person and I miss her very much. I wish we could see each other more so our children could get to know each other more too.

[BloodyCreateUsername]

I love mine. She’s kind, thoughtful and really warm. But none of my in laws are over bearing, as they’re all really considerate.

We holiday together too which is lovely. We’re about to have a little one and I’m really excited for our little one to be lucky enough to have such a willing and wanting aunty.

[wanderedlonelyasacloud]

I get on well with my SIL but we're not close at all, we would never ring each other or anything and before covid it wasn't often we'd go round to see her/she'd come round to see us.

We only see her and BIL at family get togethers or to swap presents at christmas but when we do see them we could sit and chat for hours.

She's a lot older than me, she's pretty much old enough to be my mum as she was a teenager when my DH was born so that could have something to do with it!

[AnotherEmma]

DH's sister dislikes me, sees me as a threat/rival and complained a lot to their parents about me. Probably still does. DH and I are NC with his family now, sadly, their choice in the end to stop contact when DH tried to put some boundaries in place. SIL was a big factor in it.

My brothers are not married but two of them have long-term partners who I like very much and get on with. Sadly we don't see them as much as I'd like (due to distance and more recently covid). But as honorary SILs I'm glad to have them in our family.

[mistermagpie]

I have three. Two are the sisters of DH and one is married to DH's brother, so she might not actually be a SIL technically?

Anyway the two sisters - one lives very near and is... ok. We get on reasonably well at family functions but I wouldn't see her alone or even just us and our kids, even though they are very close in age. We never call or text each other or anything, but she's quite close to DH and they get on well.

The other one lives abroad and I don't really like her. Not sure whether she likes me but it doesn't matter either way because we never see each other.

The one who is married to DH's brother is lovely. We get on well and message each other regularly. We also meet up with the kids when it's allowed.

[Yerra]

I have brother's wife who we don't have a relationship with. My sister and I have been beaten up by him and she even participated in it once - they don't exist to us.
my other brother not with anyone
My husbands sister is nice but we don't participate in daily life with each other. I suppose all busy. If we met them out, we would be polite - what more can you do. I suppose we don't just have anything in common.

[iamaMused]

My brother married his wife 30 years ago and from the minute my mum met her she hated her. I was only 15 at the time and it was absolutely awful as my mum acted in a ridiculous, possessive manner and the relationship between the 2 has never recovered. Both my father and brother are cowards and they should have taken control of the situation but instead they both buried their heads and did absolutely nothing to sort out the stand off between the two. The ironic aspect is that my SiL and Mum have exactly the same personalities. Over the years I have tried very hard to facilitate some sort of family life but it's gone too far, it's just point scoring between them, they both have a form (undiagnosed obviously) of borderline personality disorder. Every family event is controlled by their distain of each other or indeed the efforts that I have gone to. Covid, as awful as it is has allowed a distance between us, I genuinely haven't missed them. I do wish we could be a close family, my SiL has no friends she lives for her husband and son.
My husbands sister is ok, we get on well, we're totally different people but we rub along just fine. They are 40 miles away and we see each other every couple of months or so. I'am definitely closer to my friends and I have missed them immensely during lockdown and when we can finally get together it will be my friends I'll meet first.

[MaLarkinn]

I have 2, my brothers wives and they are lovely. Want to mention my bil also as I think the world of him.
My ex sil was a grade a cunt.

[imjackieweaver]

Pretty close with all my in laws except my xSIL who was a spoilt nasty abusive piece of work.

[mandi73]

I have 10 SIL, get on with them all on a superficial level. Nice women, would have a coffee and chat when ever we would see each other. They love a good party, overall nice and pretty supportive if we needed them........except for one (there's always one)
When DH's sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer, the witch(polite version of what DH calls her) laughed and said "I hope she dies screaming"
When i bumped into her 2 days before our wedding (pre cancer statement) we chatted for about 10mins, when I was leaving I said see you at the wedding......."oh we're not coming, it would be awkward" She just decided not to tell us....or anyone, I'd spent bloody hours doing a seating plan to try and figure out how to take all family politics etc into account. Had to go home and do the stupid thing again, cos her not coming meant DH's other sister would have sitting at a table with her, her DH and their 1 DC and FOUR empty seats!!!!!!

[Dacquoise]

NC with both my DB and SIL and have turned down recent attempts by them to get back in touch. Don't need or want any more of their poor treatment of me. My DB has viewed me with a mixture of indifference and utter contempt since our dysfunctional childhood and despite my attempts to rectify the situation has never improved. His wife brought a different level of abuse to the table. Alcohol fuelled rages, critical and judgemental of everyone (suspect it was jealousy), unreliable, nasty on the sligh to my daughter, took a big role in my family's politics. Completely full of herself which concluded with her siding with my ex husband when I divorced and cutting me off. Biggest favour ever as it brought a conclusion to years of frustration for me at trying to keep the peace.

Ex husband's SIL was lovely, got on with her like a house on fire. Ex husband made sure that we didn't keep in touch when we divorced.

[Dacquoise]

To answer your question about cousins, my daughter was very close to them when small but that came at the cost of tolerating her abuse. Contact was cut ten years ago because of SIL just when my daughter could have done with the support during my divorce. However, daughter has her own tight knit groups of friends from school and university and says herself that she's not bothered about her cousins so I think the relationship is more important to them when they are smaller. With hindsight I wouldn't bend over backwards to facilitate that relationship, especially if their mother is a dick. Not worth the aggravation.

[GintyMcGinty]

It used to be good but she has become super-woke during the pandemic and is constantly trying to ram her new found politics down everyone's throats with absolute certainly that only her way is the right way.

And its all virtual so we have that added layer of fraughtness.

So its deteriorating.

[InTheShadowOfTheMushroomCloud]

My DHs is nc from his sister. Has been for over 30 yrs. I have never met her.
My brother's wife is lovely. She is funny, clever and just an all round gorgeous person. I love being her SIL. I actually like her more than my narc brother. I know they are going through a shitty patch ( bros fault) and my parents and other siblings have told her we will always support her and welcome her whatever the outcome.

[scentedgeranium]

I'd like to be good friends with one. She's actually v kind. But gosh she goes on about her high flying job. All the time. To the extent you can't open a conversation with her without it becoming the subject. Been like it since I first met her 25 years ago! It's a shame because apart from her domineering attitude in conversations she's lovely.
The other one I find oddly cold. But that's ok. We don't need to be best buddies

[InTheShadowOfTheMushroomCloud]

@NoddingTulip .... you and your DH sound lovely. Much love to you and your family

[Ellieboolou33]

I love my SIL, shes non judgmental, funny and kind, I'm sure my kids would never get birthday or Christmas gifts if it were left to my brother! We don't see each other loads but always good company and our children get along lovely.

[BarryTheKestrel]

DH Dsis- absolutely lovely but we have very little in common, see each other maybe once a month in usual times and can chat about kids, family etc but we don't socialise.

DH SIL - see her maybe once a year. Shes very shy and quiet and makes no effort to talk to anyone in the family even when in their house (ie all at MIL for christmas). So no relationship there.

DB gf - they aren't married but may as well be. She is amazing, so thoughtful and great with the kids, but is almost a decade younger than me and is a beautician so always looks incredible whereas I often look like an exhausted mum, so she makes me incredibly self conscious!

[TwirpingBird]

Me and SIL have kids 4 months apart (hers older). Let's just say we have polar opposite parenting styles, and she doesnt like when my MIL comes to see us as she has a tendency to see her every day. She lives 5 mins from my inlaws, and she finds parenting her 2 year old for a full day a bit much, so she drops him off at my MILs. She likes to tell me that 'if you want help you should get your family to help (they live in a different country. And my MIL never helps. She comes for dinner, that I make, and then naps on my couch)' and 'you chose to have 2 kids. It's not my problem the second one was a mistake. It's your life to manage'. Apparently my MIL visiting causes her a problem.

We used to get along pre kids. She was my bridesmaid. Ye. We dont really see eye to eye.

[BluebellCockleshell123]

Oh that’s such a shame. I love both my SILs (brother’s wife & DH’s sister) and would’ve chosen them both as friends. My brother & his wife live close by and we do socialise together but they are quite a bit younger than me & their kids are younger than ours. It’s great that our kids know each other though & I love seeing my nieces & nephews regularly. SIL is really lovely and great fun. We sometimes socialise just on our own or with my sister (they are even closer).
DH’s sister lives an hour away but we text a lot and talk on the phone regularly. She made a real effort to get to know me when DH & i started dating. Love her to bits.

[Echobelly]

Like all my SILs - brother's wife, brother-in-law's wife, and my husband's sister; they all live very nearby.

We're like not close mates who'd see another socially outside family stuff, but we all like each other and get on.

[Muskox]

My SIL is perfectly okay, but we don't have a lot in common. My DC aren't close to their cousin, and they don't have any other cousins on DH's side as his brother is childless. It doesn't bother any of us too much, tbh.

[ThisTooShallBeFantastic]

One SIL is sadly dead, I liked her much more than I like my DB. Their children and mine are far from close, because of DB not my late SIL. XH's brothers' wives I admire but have nothing in common with. Again cousins are not close. XH's sister is an utter bitch and not being in touch with her is one of the great joys of being divorced. Again, cousins are far from close.

Meh.

[sunshineandshowers40]

Husband's sister is 20 years younger than me, so we really have nothing in common and the age gap means that her and DH aren't close. My brother's partner I get on well with but I wouldn't say we were friends if that makes sense.

[sage46]

Both my brother's wives are lovely, but I wouldn't say I was that close to them. One lives abroad and her English isn't good ( and my knowledge of her language is even worse , though we both try) Her DDs are much younger than my DS, almost different generations. My other sil has aspergers and though lovely, kind and generous is socially shy and it isn't easy to get her to talk, but we like each other. My closest sil was the wife of my ExH brother and we were best friends and would have been regardless of how we met, unfortunately she died of cancer last year and I miss her like mad.