What’s your relationship like with your sister-in-law?

[Takemetoasunnyplace]

I have two SIL. My brother’s wife, and DH’s sister.

Brother’s wife is lovely, although they live far away so don’t see them much, but she’s a wonderful person & I am proud to have her in my family.

DH’s sister lives close by. I’ve tried to be friendly but it’s not reciprocated and I really don’t get the impression she likes me. We’ve both recently had our first children & I think it would be nice if the cousins could have the opportunity to be friends, which is probably why it bothers me so much.

Also I’ve come to live in the area where DH grew up and am many miles away from my own family and friends so it would be great to have a friendly relationship with SIL. But I guess that’s not the case & accept she’s entitled to dislike me / not want to become friends for whatever reason.

What relationship do you have with your SIL? If not great, have your kids still managed to be close cousins?

[Minty82]

It’s horrible - and also makes no sense. Of course your husband’s brother’s partner is your children’s auntie!

[ArtfulScreamer]

DH sister is lovely she's a fair bit younger than me but we get on great, she loves my DD and when / if she has child/rent of her own I will be a proud aunt.
DB STBEX on the other hand is a completely different kettle of fish. I didn't take to her from the minute I met her and knew she'd be trouble she is a complete headache of a women and I can't abide her, she controlled my brother for years and eventually cheated on him. Unfortunately my relationship with her means I have little relationship with my nieces.
Thankfully his new girlfriend is a lot nicer and I can more than stand to be in the same room as her.

[RosesAndHellebores]

DH has two sisters. SIL 2 30 years ago told me not to marry him because he was a capitalist bastard. It has never stopped her tapping him up. She has three dc brought up with zero boundaries: rude, destructive, etc. Doesn't call her mother on Christmas day and didn't attend her father's funeral because it would be too stressful for her to make such a long journey. She never stops complaining about being skint and having nothing yet has never, since she left university 35+ years ago worked full time. I stopped sending her dc birthday/Christmas presents when all feedback through MIL was that they weren't quite right and not once did she reciprocate.

SIL2 is better and happy go lucky and cares about people although we have little in common except being related to DH.

Fortunately they both live 1000's of miles away.

[WhenTwoBecomeThree]

DP's DS is lovely, we have a laugh and have a similar personality. We were on mat leave at the same time so went to baby groups together, she'd pop around during the day and made sure I had everything I needed in the last weeks of pregnancy when DP was at work. Both have DD's a couple of months apart, even though we're not blood relatives, I think the absolute world of her DD and hope they're close cousins when they grow up. There's quite a big ages gap so we're hardly best friends but I probably talk to her more than DP talks to her

[TopTabby]

I've got 3 SILs
DB's wife is actually lovely & we get on well whenever we see each other which isn't often as they don't live locally. She's a different person on social media though, always having rants with some of it quite offensive. It's a shame as she comes across as extremely self centred. I just ignore that side of her.
DH's sisters have been hard work. One is a bit stuck up & doesn't feel she has to put any effort into conversation. After sitting through excruciating silences while I thought of something to say (which she would just close down) I eventually gave up & backed off.
His younger sister was only 15 or so when we met & it's always been all about her. She's ok but spoilt & inconsiderate, I'll never forget how she used to just barge into our first house. I made the effort with both over the years but felt it was all one way.
One of DH sisters had a big birthday a couple of years ago. All the women of the family were invited on a night out....except me. No invitation, nothing. All over social media, I wasn't even considered & I'd been married to her brother for nearly 20 years by this time. I was really hurt & gave up on them both at that point.
It's been liberating! No more trying to think of conversation or trying to fit in. I've just left DH to it with the pair of them, seems to be Christmas & birthdays now, fine by me.
Civil yes, friends absolutely no way.

[MacbookHoHoHo]

My brother’s GF is a manipulative nutjob, and sadly he’s the only one who doesn’t realise it.

[brunetteonthebus]

Friendly but distant. We get on fine but maybe only see each other 2/3 times a year on family occasions, they don't live close by. She and her DH are happily child free and plan on always being so and DH and I have two small children so our lives are very different. She's not particularly interested in us day to day and it doesn't bother me.

[PussGirl]

XH's sister & I get on well, although we live at a distance. We are still friendly, even though H is now X. She's a nice, warm, genuine person nothing like her brother

DB's wife is a bit of an oddball - we have very little in common, other than my DB, & she generally opts out if he & I are meeting up. I get on okay with her, but it rarely happens that we see each other.

[brunetteonthebus]

SIL that I just wrote about is DHs sister. My DBs fiancée (so not quite SIL but they're v long term) is much closer to us and we - in non Covid times - see them regularly. Our children adore her, have always called her 'Aunty' (she's been around long before they were born) and she makes a huge effort with us and them. They're child free atm but they hope to have their own family once they're married.

She is also the sort of person I would be friends with if she weren't family. DH's sister, whilst we are perfectly friendly, I don't think we would be friends if we weren't related.

[Horehound]

DH’s brothers partner - I find her a bit loud, people pleasing and lacking in her own personality. Also she obsessively tries to hold my baby, showed up at my house an hour after I got home from hospital and stayed for three hours and refers to herself as ‘auntie’. My baby has one auntie, my sister. SIL will never be a relation of my child, just like I will never be related to any children she has.

Well, she is the aunt if your bil marries her. You sound mean!

[wizzywig]

Mines a bitch. So yeah, don't have much to do with her. Covids been a blessing.

[Chicchicchicchiclana]

Non-existent. We'll have a conversation at our once or twice a year family meet-ups, otherwise we don't have a relationship really. No hostility, just no other connection.

[31RooCambon]

I don't have any. I'm not married so no dh's sister. My brother isn't married or with anybody.

I like to think I could get on with them/not care if they didn't like me much.. In my fantasy!

[Kitkat151]

2 of them I’m very close to..... 2 that I never speak to

[Takemetoasunnyplace]

@NoddingTulip

[SilverSoftlySwaying]

Forgot that I even have SIL’s, all husbands brothers wives I guess.
Don’t see any of them, forgot they existed to be quite honest.

Sad that his family aren’t nicer. Sad my children didn’t have nicer grandparents and uncles and aunts.

Should have looked more closely years ago

[Chutneywashisname]

DH’s sisters - I’m chat but am not friends with them. I find them quite manipulative and they are snobs and I find some of what they say very embarrassing and difficult to condone.

I was friendly with my brother’s wife. They had the first kids in the family and we were all so excited about them. They went on to have a big family (4 kids) and by the time we had children ourselves, they didn’t even send a congratulations card.

[WhatHaveIFound]

I get on better with both my SILs than I do with my own sister. However they're both childless so no cousins for my DC to play with when they were little and my own sister & her children lived too far away for them to have a close relationship with either.

My DD is quite close to my cousin's DD though but that a long distance friendship as they're currently overseas. We'd normally meet up every couple of year and the girls would get on great.

[HandbagRummage]

It's been liberating! No more trying to think of conversation or trying to fit in. I've just left DH to it with the pair of them, seems to be Christmas & birthdays now, fine by me.

I understand that. It is liberating once you stop caring. I go one step further and arrange all my holidays over thier birthdays and other occassions so I have to see them even less. My DH still hasn't twigged. He totally lives on a cloud.

[Whiskeylover45]

@78percentLindt

One is a complete bitch. I am nc, DH had serious surgery a couple of years back, I would not have told her if he had died as it would been 1. my fault and 2. all about her needs. When their cousin died she told him an hour before the funeral and we live 5 hours away. DH sends Christmas and birthday cards.
The other is lovely but we don't see them a lot due to distance.

Do we have the same first SIL? Sounds a lot like mine and my situation

[museumum]

Dh’s sister is lovely but we wouldn’t hang out together without dh and BIL too. The four of us go out two or three times a year and we socialise at mil’s maybe once a month or so.

[Cherrysoup]

I bet on great with all of them, but distance means we hardly see them. We make the effort when we do get together.

[DinosaurDiana]

Don’t speak to or see them. I have the perfect relationship 😉

[ZaphodBeeblerox]

Only have one SIL - husband's brother's wife. We have no relationship to speak of. On paper it would seem like we'd get along really well - we went to the same unis a few years apart, we're v similar in terms of politics / things we are keen on / tastes in books etc. Our kids are a year apart.

But absolutely zero relationship. She used to mostly ignore me when DH and I first started dating, several years of barely speaking to me, started warming up slightly when my DD was born, but the past year has again gone back to zero interaction with us. We're not sure why - DH's brother lives in NY so our only contact is through video chats, but she won't ever say hello or join in. My DD recently learnt to send voice notes to people so has been sending them to her uncle, grandma, aunt (SIL) etc. Everyone else replies occasionally to her with a voice note or something, SIL just ignores it.

Tbh it really rankles - I know I am not entitled to anyone's friendship but I find it hard to understand why someone is so cold towards us when we haven't done anything wrong. We send birthday greetings, Christmas presents etc which all go unacknowledged by her. I have tried over the years to not let it bother me - the most recent ignoring of my preschooler DDs messages really did sting.

[Eastie77]

If Kate M is a Mumsnetter I'd love it if she contributed to this thread😂