What’s your relationship like with your sister-in-law?

[Takemetoasunnyplace]

I have two SIL. My brother’s wife, and DH’s sister.

Brother’s wife is lovely, although they live far away so don’t see them much, but she’s a wonderful person & I am proud to have her in my family.

DH’s sister lives close by. I’ve tried to be friendly but it’s not reciprocated and I really don’t get the impression she likes me. We’ve both recently had our first children & I think it would be nice if the cousins could have the opportunity to be friends, which is probably why it bothers me so much.

Also I’ve come to live in the area where DH grew up and am many miles away from my own family and friends so it would be great to have a friendly relationship with SIL. But I guess that’s not the case & accept she’s entitled to dislike me / not want to become friends for whatever reason.

What relationship do you have with your SIL? If not great, have your kids still managed to be close cousins?

[Honeyroar]

Mine is lovely. Like a friend.

[allycat4]

Mine's awful. A shame, because my ex-boyfriend's SIL was lovely !!

[Whitecup4]

My husband is “normal” but his brother is a snob and so is his wife. They are just from different worlds to us so whilst we are polite to one another we don’t see each other at all unless we bump into them at their mums.

I’ve tried with my sil, but she oooks down at me. I don’t care, she doesn’t do it meanly, that’s just her natural snobbiness!

[twilightcafe]

Two-faced, passive-aggressive misery guts who takes offence at anyone who has £1 more than she does.
Lockdown has been a blessing because I haven't had to see her or her awful partner for over a year.

[CherryRoulade]

One is one of my closest friends - but she’s my husband’s twin, so it’s like a female him.
Another lives in USA so not close because of distance and differing lifestyles.We like each other well enough but we’re not in frequent enough contact to forge a deeper relationship.
I get on well with the third SIL but they too live at a distance, so not terribly close in practical terms. We chat, we call but there’s no deeper connection.

[grassisjeweled]

I have 3.

Brothers wife is.... Lazy. We don't have much in common. Cousins don't see each other much as we live abroad.

DH'S sister is OK - again different tribe to me. Her kids are older.

DH'S brothers wife is probably my fave - she's very self centered which I kind of admire? She's usually drunk and in a good mood. Again, their kids are older than ours, not much in common.

[addicted2spaniels]

DH's sister is very difficult to get on with. She's smoked weed most of her adult life which has made her extremely paranoid, which means that she has made some poor life choices and has got a McCain chip factory on her shoulder as a result.

I keep contact very limited as I can't bear the "woe is me" approach to life she has. Thanks to FIL, she had a life changing inheritance but she's so angry and bitter about life she takes no pleasure from never having to work again. Makes my blood boil, tbh. Thankfully DH is the polar opposite and has a glass half full approach to life instead.

[Krispyk]

I have several (large blended family) I have one who I adore, she's kind, funny, and gorgeous and my brother's 3rd wife, the previous 2, I had nothing in common with and our lives were very different.

I also have another SIL who is funny, caring, and been very supportive

My last one is an unpleasant, religious fanatic who is as fake as they come, but I never have to see her again as my brother died some years ago.

I understand your need to feel a connection but sometimes it just isn't there, I will admit, I made no effort with my brothers first 2 wives as I found them boring and unrelatable, but I was younger and living in London while they were suburban housewives raising kids, which at the time held zero appeal for me. His third wife has no children which is why we probably relate more.

[OnlyTeaForMe]

DH has two younger sisters. I like them both and we're always friendly when we meet.

SIL1 lives about 40 mins away, but we have very different lives (she is unmarried, no kids). I find her rather narrow-minded and a bit 'Little England' so wouldn't arrange to see her on my own.

SIL2 is much more fun and has a child the same age as one of ours, but sadly lives 2 hours away. I would definitely see more of her if they lived closer.

[Doublechins]

My SIL (brothers wife) is probably my best friend we have a fantastic relationship and are really close.

[WorkHardPlayHard1]

My sil is very distant & hard to communicate with. My husband and I lived abroad for a year and when we had a family reunion meal & walked to the car park everyone in the family paired up to chat but my sil strode ahead so i was left walking back on my own like a chump. My bil is very hard work, I ask questions and get stonewalled, one word answers or a no despite the answer being obviously 'yes'. They say its hard because of the age difference but I think its hard because they are rude, selfish and make no effort. Bil is the centre of his parents and wife's universe despite being the above. They are in a clique. My own charming, generous and chatty husband is always second best so makes it very hard to be friends with the sil & bil which is a real shame as I would love a sister. Big sense of loss in my life TBH as really looked forward to being part of the family. Worse is my daughters are second best to golden boys child so we are even lower in pecking order. Sad for me but cant bear kids being second best so thanks to Covid can keep a distance! 😊

[Daisy829]

It’s great. We are very similar in many ways but our parenting styles can be quite different (I’m more laid back) but I love her and she’s one of my best friends as is my brother. We often hang out with them and go on hols with them. My brother and I have always been close though & have kids the same age.

[DramaAlpaca]

I have four SILS. Three of them I'm close to, they are wonderful women and I consider them to be good friends. Our children are similar ages and very close as well.

I don't see the fourth as much, we manage to have a reasonably friendly but distant relationship. She's a good few years younger than me and we have very little in common, but we do make an effort.

[JaninaDuszejko]

Mine are all lovely but we live a long way away so don't see much of them. DH's sister is particularly great and Whatsapps the DCs regularly though which means they have a good relationship even though we're in different countries.

[LivBa]

@Crikeycroc your thoughts are shocking, you're even wishing she has problems conceiving!! Sounds like she's just trying to be part of the family and get on with you all since their future child will be part of the family, she's not committing a crime. Don't get people who behave spitefully like this. The poison will eat you up.

[Spillanelle]

DHs sister is lovely, and a great support with DD. We’re in a bubble with her and she helps out with childcare which has saved my sanity over the last year. I honestly don’t know how we would have coped without her.
I would obviously never say this to her but would love for her to have children so DD has cousins, I was so close to my cousins growing up and would love DD to have this.

[renallychallenged]

My brothers wife is fine. Quiet. We don't have much in common but would never argue.

My husbands brothers wife is pleasant on the surface but it's obvious she looks down on us and is very judgemental about everything. One of those perfect parents before she has kids type.

[ChocOrange1]

I have two SIL who are my husband's brothers wives.
We don't really see each other. One lives about 10 minutes drive away, the other about 40 minutes drive away. We see them about 4 times a year. We get on fine but don't know each other well and don't have much in common. My husband isn't close to his brothers as there is a bit of an age gap, but they're not close to each other either despite being closer in age. They're all nice enough but pretty much strangers to me.

[longtompot]

Given mine has just removed me from her Facebook friends (she's not 12 btw) I would say not good.

[Logmein]

4 of them.
DH's 2 sisters and his SIL, 1 of his sisters has been a very close friend of mine for 40 years and I've known his family most of my life.
DB's wife is a total and utter cunt of a rabid snake, she has managed to turn mum family against me with secrets and manipulation, my relationship with DF and SM (DB's mother) was always 'delicate' as SM doesn't like that DF was married before, she saw that and took advantage. DF doesn't even see my children, that was his choice.

[Lollypop4]

I have 3.
I dislike 2, have no intention of having relationships with them- They just Are'nt nice people. The cousins are close when they see each other at GP house.
The other one, I am really close too, we speak daily- The cousins are very close in age, same classes at school, live very close too.

[Krispyk]

@Crikeycroc

I’m probably someone’s unfriendly SIL!

DH’s brothers partner - I find her a bit loud, people pleasing and lacking in her own personality. Also she obsessively tries to hold my baby, showed up at my house an hour after I got home from hospital and stayed for three hours and refers to herself as ‘auntie’. My baby has one auntie, my sister. SIL will never be a relation of my child, just like I will never be related to any children she has.
She is just not someone I would be friends with if I met her elsewhere. She and BIL are TTC and I dread her asking if we can get the cousins together! Hoping it drags on a bit longer for them (but not forever or she will never stop pawing my babies) so there’s enough of an age gap that the kids don’t have heaps in common until they’re older so I don’t have to be subjected to endless visits.
I know I sound like a total bitch but I am polite and pleasant in person. I just refuse to pretend that we are good friends and subject myself to boring small talk outside of major family events.

Wow, I know this forum is anonymous but fascinating to see you fully admit to being a really vile human being

Hopefully, your toxic personality doesn't transfer to your kids and they can have healthy and positive relationships with their relatives, sorry but whether you like it or not, they ARE related.

[Ginger1982]

@Crikeycroc

I’m probably someone’s unfriendly SIL!

DH’s brothers partner - I find her a bit loud, people pleasing and lacking in her own personality. Also she obsessively tries to hold my baby, showed up at my house an hour after I got home from hospital and stayed for three hours and refers to herself as ‘auntie’. My baby has one auntie, my sister. SIL will never be a relation of my child, just like I will never be related to any children she has.
She is just not someone I would be friends with if I met her elsewhere. She and BIL are TTC and I dread her asking if we can get the cousins together! Hoping it drags on a bit longer for them (but not forever or she will never stop pawing my babies) so there’s enough of an age gap that the kids don’t have heaps in common until they’re older so I don’t have to be subjected to endless visits.
I know I sound like a total bitch but I am polite and pleasant in person. I just refuse to pretend that we are good friends and subject myself to boring small talk outside of major family events.

Yes, yes you do sound like a total bitch.

[MessagesKeepGettingClearer]

One is nice but we're completely different in personality and interests. We've never had much to say to each other but think we both like each other. She's also not a great partner to my sibling, she's ok, but she struggles to enjoy family life so much of the household tasks are left to my sibling. If they were to break up, we wouldn't keep in touch.

My other SIL is a funny one. She's lovely to your face, like really lovely. And she has lovely friends so I do think she's a nice person. But she's flakey as hell. Rarely turns up to family things which means we don't see much of my brother either, although he will pop by on his own or with kids sometimes. She'll contact you then not contact back and generally I've given up. She's very close to her family and I think this doesn't leave a lot of time for our side of the family.

[christmasathomeagain]

I've got 5, well 6 if you include my brothers ex wife and new fiancée (who I've never met).

Dh's sister I get on well with but she isn't local so don't see enough of her.

One brothers wife I love, really close to that brother and despite the geographical distance we see (pre-covid) lots of each other.

Another brothers wife we were closeish when her oldest were young and I made a real effort so I could be close to their kids but when I had my children she didn't really reciprocate the effort so over the years I've backed off. Shame as we are the only two siblings in this town but hardly see them.

Other sil I don't know so well, bigger age gaps etc. My 'ex' sil makes more of an effort than my brother which is fine, I prefer her to him 😂