What’s your relationship like with your sister-in-law?

[Takemetoasunnyplace]

I have two SIL. My brother’s wife, and DH’s sister.

Brother’s wife is lovely, although they live far away so don’t see them much, but she’s a wonderful person & I am proud to have her in my family.

DH’s sister lives close by. I’ve tried to be friendly but it’s not reciprocated and I really don’t get the impression she likes me. We’ve both recently had our first children & I think it would be nice if the cousins could have the opportunity to be friends, which is probably why it bothers me so much.

Also I’ve come to live in the area where DH grew up and am many miles away from my own family and friends so it would be great to have a friendly relationship with SIL. But I guess that’s not the case & accept she’s entitled to dislike me / not want to become friends for whatever reason.

What relationship do you have with your SIL? If not great, have your kids still managed to be close cousins?

[AgeLikeWine]

We get on perfectly well when we meet, which is a couple of times a year, but we are very different people who have very little in common except the family relationship. If we weren’t in-laws we wouldn’t be friends.

[TravelDreamLife]

DB's wife. Ok, she's nice enough when we see her, just not interested in us. We're DB's problem so she pretty much ignoes us & organises everything with her own family instead. It's obvious she'd rather be doing something else when she visits.

DH's sister. I HATE her. She destroyed our wedding & relationship with PIL. Is a selfish, snobby brat. She thinks all that was my fault & we're friends & her & DH are close (he hates her too). Unfortunately MIL is ill so SIL is doing her duty by visiting every couple of weeks (has ignored us for years). She then messages instructions to DH on what he should be doing for PIL & does nothing herself. So, not a fan. Her H is a mansplaining dickhead who treats me like I'm stupid.

[homebase123]

She lives abroad with the rest of the inlaws, it's perfect

[RuthTopp]

My dh family are a bit peculiar . We've been together over 20 years, I've met one twice , once at a wedding and another time at their house. The other one more often but less than 10 times .

[YouAreTheWordsIAmTheTune]

Brothers wife - we've got a fantastic relationship, DH's brothers wife - fucking bitch who I'd run naked through a fire to get away from.

[BritneyWeaver]

Non existent.

We were friendly at the beginning, she seemed to hate DP's ex and they never got on when DP was with his ex. All of a sudden they then become best friends three years into DP and I being together. She ran back to DP's ex and told her everything we were doing, everything I said... She didn't understand why I was like

They've since fallen out

[Stinkywizzleteets]

I have two. Neither are particularly interested in having any kind of relationship with me. My brothers wife went on holiday with my parents and I, and I thought we got on ok but as soon as we returned it was back to no contact and making excuses never to meet up with the kids (a few months apart in age). My brother doesn’t like me much so I assume she’s been subjected to the bile he spouts about how awful I was to him as an undiagnosed ND child.

My partners sister is a lovely woman but really socially odd. I don’t think she has asd but she can sometimes be blunt in a similar way eg once at a family dinner in a restaurant she proclaimed she’d ran out of things to say to us so she was just going to sit elsewhere to finish her meal. She lives thousands of miles away though and hides her social awkwardness in her work. She’s polite when she sees us but she would never dream of spending time with me alone. It’s not just me though, she’s like that with everyone.

[SweetPetrichor]

I have 4 SILs. I get on well enough with 1 of them, have little to do with two of the, but like them well enough, and hate the final one (the feeling is mutual). I don’t generally like other women...yet I got 4 SILs and no BILs. Not fair!

[TheFlis12345]

I have 2. Brothers wife is amazing, adore her, she is genuinely one of the best things that have ever happened to our family and I am truly grateful that she is in our lives.

DH’s sister is also a joy. Family oriented without being overbearing and would do anything for us.

We’re very, very lucky.

[MixedUpFiles]

We have very little in common which is not surprising because DH and his brother have very little in common. It’s frustrating because we have kids very similar in age, but truth be told, our kids don’t have that much in common either. Sure they manage to play together well enough, but the personalities are just so wildly different that they would never be friends if they weren’t family. It’s so different than with my side of the family, dd has a cousin who could have been her best friend, but sadly they live very far away.

[79andnotout]

I think she really didn't like me for the first few years but she had stuff going on in her life and I was just another annoyance to her, taking her brother. We get on pretty well now, which is good as she lives in the same city. She can be a bit highly strung but I'm not perfect either :)

[Idontlikethatnameanymore]

I love the very bones of both my SILS
My DHs sister is one of the most wonderful women I could ever hope to know, and we really enjoy each other’s company. She’s going through a really tough patch at the moment and I’ve shed my own tears ( not when supporting or talking to her obviously) thinking about the stuff she’s going through
My brothers wife is also amazing, and we’ve known each other since we were teenagers, and she is a rock in our family.
I am so lucky.
I’ve also told my DH and my DB more than once that if there’s ever a divorce I’m getting custody of my sisters in law 😂

[okokok000]

After 13 years I stopped trying so aside from perfunctory niceties when we see each other my relationship with my sil is non existent.

On the other hand my husband and my own sisters genuinely adore each other. Text / call support each other independently from me.

If you've tried and it isn't being reciprocated, don't beat yourself up over it, it takes two to make the relationship.

[AnnLouiseB]

I adore mine (my brother’s wife). She’s superbly funny, clever, kind, thoughtful. She fitted so perfectly into our family I can’t imagine life without her. And she’s a wonderful mother to my beautiful nephew.

If she and my brother ever divorced I’d keep her

[saraclara]

We've always rubbed along fine. For two or three decades, we probably only saw each other every few months, and together with PILs and/or our respective DH's, so we rarely had one to one time, but all fine.

Over the last decade we've become much closer. My DH got stage 4 cancer, and she was always wonderfully supportive to us both through his illness, and to me when he died. She's a fantastic daughter to my MIL, who I adore, and who started showing signs of her (now advanced) dementia around the time that my DH died, and I really respect, and am grateful to her, for how she supported MIL and coped with her decline.

So yep, although we don't live near each other, we chat much more often, and genuinely care about each other.

[MissEliza]

Both my SILs seem to absolutely hate me. It's very hurtful as I've tried to be kind and nurturing to their dcs - my biological and non biological nieces and nephew. I don't have great relationships with my db or BIL. I guess the problem is in me. I'm fed up as I'm the type to smile sweetly and go with the flow in family situations. I don't understand why they dislike me.

[Izitso]

I love both of mine. The first had children very close in age to mine and we spent lots of time together when the kids were younger - as families, she's my husband's sister. Her first husband was sadly killed very early in their marriage when the kids were tiny and we were all very close but she went on to marry another lovely man and had two more children which brought us even closer. Now that the kids, mine and theirs, are adults we don't see quite as much of each other but that bond we formed has never been broken. We have each others backs and can turn to one another for anything. The second has been in my life for years and years but only married my brother after maybe 35 of those years. I love her to bits as I do my husband's sister. Very special people in my life and I say that as an introvert with very few contacts.

[needadvice54321]

I'm very close to my sister in law (DH's brothers wife), we just clicked and can spend hours talking. We live an hour apart and I'd give my right arm to have her close enough to pop in for a coffee.

Dbro has a partner, been together 3 years. I don't know her well really as we don't see loads of them. I think we'd get on well.

[Wanderlust20]

@roarfeckingroarr

DH's sister is lovely but hard work. She's emotionally full on and can be flakey. She's keen we have a closer relationship and meet up the two of us (plus my baby) but I'm not keen; I have enough friends and a friendly but distanced relationship is enough for me.

@roarfeckingroarr totally agree, one of my SILs is like that!

Another SIL is hard work in a different way, she's highly strung, easily offended, snobby and constantly nags by DB. Luckily, they live at the opposite end of the country so I only need to put up with her in small doses! Feel bad saying that as we have quite a good relationship but mainly due to me swallowing things and making an effort - I'm probably just used to her now so know how to handle her!

[MizMoonshine]

My brother's wife is a sister to me.
I love her. Wouldn't trade her for the world.
Took us 10 years to get to this point though. For many many years she was quiet and I was a knob.

[Ikora]

My brothers wives are both excellent women. I live a long way form my family and one who lived close by was incredibly helpful and wonderful when our Mother was ill.

My sister in law really doesn’t like me at all. We are very different people personality wise. Both DH and myself are very practical and sensible and she is rather impulsive. Deep down I think she resents me pinching her playmate. Her own Mother My MIL despairs of her behaviour though she is very loyal and supportive of her. My MIL is lovely to me and as much as it was incredibly difficult even DH who is a very non critical laid back type said how horrible his sister had been to me.

[UpToMyElbowsInDiapers]

I spend a lot of time with my DB’s wife (pandemic aside) and we get along brilliantly. Easy conversation, similar life experiences and priorities, she’s amazing with my kids... I’m deeply thankful for her.

... meanwhile, until I read a few posts I actually forgot that I had a second SIL (DH’s DB’s wife) so that has to tell you something! She’s nice enough but we live on different continents and don’t have much in common. We get along just fine at family functions, but we don’t have much of an independent relationship.

[LicketySplat]

Mine is a grudge-bearing, nasty piece of work. It saddens me that this has meant I don't have much of a relationship with my nieces. My DB has confided he would like to have divorced her 10 years ago but feels trapped financially. Glad I moved hours away and don't have to deal with her anymore.

[Moomoolandmoomooland]

We're not friends. We chat at ease when we meet up. But we don't socialise together without the kids.

Your children can have a close relationship without it. My DC see their cousins all of the time on both sides. Most organisation is done by DH with his side and I do it with mine.

[noideabutstilltrying]

I have 2. One I have always found to be difficult to get on with. Not really sure why. When she became a parent I didn't tell her how to do things, which happened to me. If our paths crossed and she asked for advice I was happy to give it. I haven't seen her for over 2 years.

The second is my brother in laws wife. We used to get on brilliantly. We worked together and socialised as we lived a 5 minute walk from each other. Things were good until I had my second baby. Not had much to do with her for the past 13 years. She's been ill recently and I asked if there was anything I could do and didn't get a response.