I'm devastated. Why is he acting like this? *tw*

[packupmytroubles]

Ok so firstly trigger warning.

When I was 15/16 I was extremely traumatized after a major incident and 'acting out' , trying to run away from home etc. During this time I had quite a few sexual partners and at one point had a very short 'relationship' with a much, much older man (me 16, him 48).

My DP and me met 2 years later and have now been together a long time with DC.

He knew about my past. I told him a few months into our relationship.

The other night we were watching TV having a few drinks and something relevant came on TV. I don't normally drink a lot so it just came out that I was with someone way older. I wasn't graphic in any way.

Well DP has suddenly decided he can't handle this, he must have suppressed it and if he'd fully known he'd never have had DC with me, he would've left me. He's been saying some absolutely vile graphic things. He's also said he's "got what's left" of me and that he has to leave "such a person".

He's now decided that he will try if I report to police. But since I was 16 there's no crime, don't see how I can.

I'm bereft. I don't know what he's doing or why he's hurting me like this. I know I should LTB, I know, but we've been together so long I can't see it.

Help or even a handhold please.

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

OP, I know you said he's never done anything like this before but your counsellor already didn't like the sound of him and your daughter isn't a fan either. Stuff has happened before; people don't turn into absolute weapon level arseholes like this overnight, even if they have had a birthday. It's beyond that, the things he's said and the way he is weaponising this and making it all about him.

You want to go back to how it was, understandably, but how was it? How was it really?

HIS daughter has the measure of him.

HIS daughter sees the nasty spiteful man that he is.

HIS daughter.

Yes, sorry, I meant "your" to cover them both.

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

Yes, sorry, I meant "your" to cover them both.

Not at all.👍

Just emphasising that HIS daughter sees him clearly and she is only 14.

When you first met, you were very young and fresh from abuse. He was older and that must have made him feel superior to you.

You have been healing yourself with lots of therapy. He sees you are stronger and suspects he won't be able to keep his role as your superior saviour.

This has prompted him to try and break you again.

He will never change op. He only wants you when you are broken.

I couldn’t share my life with someone who said such vile things. Or got huffy when I didn’t want sex. Or any of the other unpleasant things you’ve noted. Please don’t let him back into your life. You don’t need him. You are more than strong enough to do this.

How are you op x

He has called you leftovers, been cruel and unkind. Even if he apologised unreservedly those words have been said and can’t be taken back.

I’d spend today changing the locks, and finding a solicitor to consult and issuing him with divorce papers.

I wouldn’t be communicating with him, asking for him back or even asking for an apology. He said his piece and left he family home. Keep him out of it, pack up his stuff and drop it at his mum and dads.

Op just here showing support i can't imagine how hurt and confused you feel