Husband says no to everything

[WonderLandWoman]

Fed up... no to chickens, no to buying a family tent, no to a trampoline, no to a digital photo frame.

I have Christmas, inheritance and birthday money saved up...

I just wish my husband would be positive. I don't want to go ahead with any of the above ideas if he's going to moan, or work against me.

I should enjoy buying one of those things with the money I've saved but now I just feel anxious that he'll berate my choice or be really negative about it and make me regret it.

What do you think?

Why does he get to decide?

If it's your money just buy what you want. Why on earth are you asking his permission?

Does he give reasons for saying no to things?

“If it's your money just buy what you want. Why on earth are you asking his permission?”

This.

I can understand the chickens as they do require upkeep and make a terrible mess of the garden - but why not the other things? Why doesn’t he want a family tent or photo frame?

I think it’s your life and you don’t need to be subservient.
Ok, chickens maybe need an agreement but the other things should be your choice. Maybe you want to use your family tent without him.

Has he any suggestions or does he want to put it aside?

I just don't think it will be a pleasant experience for me to do any of those things alone :-(

Why are you with him? Use your money to start an escape fund.

He's bound to say No to some things, if you ask him. Why do you need to ask him about buying a digital photo frame? You could just buy it but you're making your H the sum total of your problems.

It’s your money, just buy what you want?

My dad is just like this. Everything is an automatic no although he usually comes round to the idea. It’s miserable. The best way is to just go ahead and do what you want.

You don’t need his permission to do everything. Family tent go ahead. If he doesn’t want to come fair enough. Trampoline as long as it has all safety bits and you have the space he can’t veto without a good excuse. Ie he broke every bone in his body on one.
Chickens more tricky but he has to had a reason other than no

Your money your choice. Sounds like a very one sided relationship.

Can I ask OP what are you getting out of this relationship?

Resentments fester and grow. Just do what makes you happy , he'll get used to it.

He'll moan it's ugly or a poor choice. Yeah I should just do it and be proud of the one I choose. Sounds silly I know.

Yeah I guess I could go camping with the children without him. It'll be his loss.

You “don’t think it will be a pleasant experience for me to do any of those things alone”, OP.
Tell me - is it “a pleasant experience being forbidden to do any of the things I enjoy”?

@CausingChaos2

My dad is just like this. Everything is an automatic no although he usually comes round to the idea. It’s miserable. The best way is to just go ahead and do what you want.

Yes this - it's so miserable. I have to research and prepare a persuasive argument for everything!!

He said no to me planting daffodils bulbs but I went ahead anyway.

Why do you need his permission?

You asked his permission to buy a digital photo frame? What? Why do you allow him to weild that much control?

The chickens should be a joint decision, but why don't you just buy a tent if you want a tent? What's he going to do about it, ground you?

I think I would stop asking and just start doing. He can always fuck right off if he doesn't like it.

The first day my ex moved out I cancelled sky sports and purchased a dishwasher and tumble dryer. I hadn't been allowed to have them before - waste of electric

Oh and I did everything alone because I was determined my children would never miss out because of their oppositional, shit, heavy drinking Dad. It made me strong and resilient. I've taken them all round the world since we split up.

“He said no to me planting daffodils bulbs but I went ahead anyway.”

Ok, changed my opinion. I could see reasonably rational arguments about the original ideas, but daffodil bulbs, that’s just weird. How could anyone object to that?