Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Husband says no to everything
303

WonderLandWoman · 12/02/2021 23:26

Fed up... no to chickens, no to buying a family tent, no to a trampoline, no to a digital photo frame.

I have Christmas, inheritance and birthday money saved up...

I just wish my husband would be positive. I don't want to go ahead with any of the above ideas if he's going to moan, or work against me.

I should enjoy buying one of those things with the money I've saved but now I just feel anxious that he'll berate my choice or be really negative about it and make me regret it.

What do you think?

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Arewenearlythereyet1 · 12/02/2021 23:28

Why does he get to decide?

Please
or
to access all these features

IstandwithJackieWeaver · 12/02/2021 23:30

If it's your money just buy what you want. Why on earth are you asking his permission?

Please
or
to access all these features

DameCelia · 12/02/2021 23:30

Does he give reasons for saying no to things?

Please
or
to access all these features

Dery · 12/02/2021 23:31

“If it's your money just buy what you want. Why on earth are you asking his permission?”

This.

Please
or
to access all these features

Quit4me · 12/02/2021 23:31

I can understand the chickens as they do require upkeep and make a terrible mess of the garden - but why not the other things? Why doesn’t he want a family tent or photo frame?

Please
or
to access all these features

SlothWithACloth · 12/02/2021 23:31

I think it’s your life and you don’t need to be subservient.
Ok, chickens maybe need an agreement but the other things should be your choice. Maybe you want to use your family tent without him.

Please
or
to access all these features

DenisetheMenace · 12/02/2021 23:32

Has he any suggestions or does he want to put it aside?

Please
or
to access all these features

WonderLandWoman · 12/02/2021 23:32

I just don't think it will be a pleasant experience for me to do any of those things alone :-(

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

PanamaPattie · 12/02/2021 23:33

Why are you with him? Use your money to start an escape fund.

Please
or
to access all these features

DeeCeeCherry · 12/02/2021 23:33

He's bound to say No to some things, if you ask him. Why do you need to ask him about buying a digital photo frame? You could just buy it but you're making your H the sum total of your problems.

Please
or
to access all these features

Welshgal85 · 12/02/2021 23:34

It’s your money, just buy what you want?

Please
or
to access all these features

CausingChaos2 · 12/02/2021 23:34

My dad is just like this. Everything is an automatic no although he usually comes round to the idea. It’s miserable. The best way is to just go ahead and do what you want.

Please
or
to access all these features

Akire · 12/02/2021 23:35

You don’t need his permission to do everything. Family tent go ahead. If he doesn’t want to come fair enough. Trampoline as long as it has all safety bits and you have the space he can’t veto without a good excuse. Ie he broke every bone in his body on one.
Chickens more tricky but he has to had a reason other than no

Please
or
to access all these features

feellikeanun · 12/02/2021 23:35

Your money your choice. Sounds like a very one sided relationship.

Please
or
to access all these features

letsdolunch321 · 12/02/2021 23:36

Can I ask OP what are you getting out of this relationship?

Please
or
to access all these features

Dirtystreetpie · 12/02/2021 23:36

Sad
Please
or
to access all these features

AdaFuckingShelby · 12/02/2021 23:36

Resentments fester and grow. Just do what makes you happy , he'll get used to it.

Please
or
to access all these features

WonderLandWoman · 12/02/2021 23:37

He'll moan it's ugly or a poor choice. Yeah I should just do it and be proud of the one I choose. Sounds silly I know.

Yeah I guess I could go camping with the children without him. It'll be his loss.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Babdoc · 12/02/2021 23:37

You “don’t think it will be a pleasant experience for me to do any of those things alone”, OP.
Tell me - is it “a pleasant experience being forbidden to do any of the things I enjoy”?

Please
or
to access all these features

WonderLandWoman · 12/02/2021 23:38

@CausingChaos2

My dad is just like this. Everything is an automatic no although he usually comes round to the idea. It’s miserable. The best way is to just go ahead and do what you want.

Yes this - it's so miserable. I have to research and prepare a persuasive argument for everything!!

He said no to me planting daffodils bulbs but I went ahead anyway.
OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

PickAChew · 12/02/2021 23:39

Why do you need his permission?

Please
or
to access all these features

Aquamarine1029 · 12/02/2021 23:39

You asked his permission to buy a digital photo frame? What? Why do you allow him to weild that much control?

The chickens should be a joint decision, but why don't you just buy a tent if you want a tent? What's he going to do about it, ground you?

Please
or
to access all these features

HmmSureJan · 12/02/2021 23:39

I think I would stop asking and just start doing. He can always fuck right off if he doesn't like it.

The first day my ex moved out I cancelled sky sports and purchased a dishwasher and tumble dryer. I hadn't been allowed to have them before - waste of electric Hmm

Please
or
to access all these features

HmmSureJan · 12/02/2021 23:40

Oh and I did everything alone because I was determined my children would never miss out because of their oppositional, shit, heavy drinking Dad. It made me strong and resilient. I've taken them all round the world since we split up.

Please
or
to access all these features

DenisetheMenace · 12/02/2021 23:42

“He said no to me planting daffodils bulbs but I went ahead anyway.”

Ok, changed my opinion. I could see reasonably rational arguments about the original ideas, but daffodil bulbs, that’s just weird. How could anyone object to that?

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.