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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He disclosed my sensitive info

158 replies

IwishIwasBrave · 12/02/2021 16:38

So I am pregnant with a guy, we dont live together. He has 3 children with another woman. This woman is in a new relationship. 2 days ago he went at her house to see his children. An argument kicked off due to him being late few days with child maintenance, which never happened before. She demanded the money. He got angry and told her exactly this "My new girlfriend is pregnant, we are having a baby girl, which you never could have.( She has 6 boys). My girlfriend is a Social Worker and you do fuck all". He then came to visit me and told me all this. I was fuming. I am not even qualified yet, I am student in placement and he discloses info about my job with someone I never saw in my life. Also telling her about my pregnancy,when I want to be out of drama. AIBU to be upset? After all this he said I should keep the baby, he doesn't want anything to do with us.I dont even know how to feel. I also caught him on Dating apps everytime we had an argument. AIBU to think he shouldnt disclose senitive info about my job just to upset his ex?? I am cross, dont know what to think

OP posts:
EmergencyHydrangea · 12/02/2021 16:40

Jesus Christ, just give him the boot. Too much drama

StephenBelafonte · 12/02/2021 16:41

You can do better than him Sad

DaysAreGettingLongerNow · 12/02/2021 16:41

we are having a baby girl, which you never could have.( She has 6 boys).

He knows how sex is determined, right? Hmm

Your occupation isn't 'sensitive information'. That would be something like your medical records.

But why on earth do you think YABU to be upset? I'd cut him loose and work on my self respect if I were you.

Mamagotskills · 12/02/2021 16:42

What sensitive info has he disclosed?

Aside from that, he sounds like a prick. I would decide whether you want to keep the baby on your own and get rid

Whatsnewpussyhat · 12/02/2021 16:42

You picked a winner.

Seriously, tell him to fuck off and concentrate on being a mum without this waster.

Hailtomyteeth · 12/02/2021 16:42

This is your big opportunity. Don't miss it. See the back of him.

SunnySideUp2020 · 12/02/2021 16:43

Him disclosing personal information to his ex wouldn't be my main worry given what you just said...
How old is he? He sounds very immature and not really committed at all.
You are wasting your time i think....

PralineFowler · 12/02/2021 16:44

He’s sounds like a childish waster. Save yourself future drama and extricate yourself now.

Buzzer3555 · 12/02/2021 16:45

Well..
He sounds like a keeper.

Snowymcsnowsony · 12/02/2021 16:45

Maybe be more cross with yourself. He is a loser. Sadly being a single dm is your best bet. Don't hold out for much Cms.

Wheresmyfuckingphone · 12/02/2021 16:46

What a Prince.

AlternativePerspective · 12/02/2021 16:48

Get rid.

Guarantee he’s spun all this to his ex so that she’ll blame you for the fact he doesn’t pay maintenance any more. In fact I can see the thread now “my ex used to pay maintenance regularly until he met his new GF and she got pregnant, now he tells me he’s having a baby with her, obviously she thinks that her child is more important than mine. I hate that bitch new partner of his.....”

Thebizz · 12/02/2021 16:49

What a charming man.

Is he saying he does want the baby with you or not?

purplecorkheart · 12/02/2021 16:50

Run and never look back.

AnnaFiveTowns · 12/02/2021 16:51

What a nasty piece of work. Why are you wasting any headspace on this person? Cut him out of your life as much as you can. It's a shame that he is going to be the father of your child. Also, isn't it men that determine the sex of the baby?

JWrecks · 12/02/2021 16:54

Am I reading this right?

After all this he said I should keep the baby, he doesn't want anything to do with us.

You had an argument about him telling your business to a stranger, then he basically said the above and fucked off?

PanamaPattie · 12/02/2021 16:59

All this drama! Social worker - heal thyself.

SaltyTootsieToes · 12/02/2021 17:08

I think you have much bigger issues here, plus saying he’s having another child, which will be a girl - is not your personal information. Thus is also his personal issue (though he should be made aware that it’s the guy’s sperm that determines the sex of the baby).

The issue you need to focus on is his dumping you while you’re pregnant AND he’s been cheating on you (the dating apps) AND you were having unprotected sex with him. Much, much bigger issues there.

judgingcat · 12/02/2021 17:17

So he told you he doesn't want anything to do with you even though he's in the wrong?

wtf are you doing with him. Confused

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 12/02/2021 17:19

He has 3 other kids
He is late paying their maintenance
He says horrible things to his ex
He uses info about to get at his ex
He lies - you are not a social worker, yet.
He is immature - flounces when you tell him you are upset with him
He goes on dating apps when you argue.

So, you stand no chance of getting much financial help or partnership from him, unless he is v well off (in which case why the hell is he late paying maintenance for his other kids?).

What benefit is this relationship to you?

category12 · 12/02/2021 17:20

Dump the guy for being an untrustworthy feckless cheat.

Your career path is not sensitive information, and as the child's father he can tell who he likes the sex of the baby.

You might want to consider why you're choosing a chaotic lifestyle with a chap like this.

Jumpers268 · 12/02/2021 17:21

@RainingBatsAndFrogs

He has 3 other kids He is late paying their maintenance He says horrible things to his ex He uses info about to get at his ex He lies - you are not a social worker, yet. He is immature - flounces when you tell him you are upset with him He goes on dating apps when you argue.

So, you stand no chance of getting much financial help or partnership from him, unless he is v well off (in which case why the hell is he late paying maintenance for his other kids?).

What benefit is this relationship to you?

This!
RainingBatsAndFrogs · 12/02/2021 17:21

OP - come on. It is men like this that are behind many a social work client's life.
You can't be unaware of that.

IwishIwasBrave · 12/02/2021 17:22

To describe it in more detail...I had sex with him and got pregnant while on the patch. He always paid his child maintenance to his ex, the reason he was late for few days this month is that he is a barber so his shop is closed due to corona.He found another job and he explained to her he will be paid in few days. His ex has 6 boys and she always wanted a girl, which he threw in her face he is having a baby girl with me. Disclosing my job role to her was to make her feel less, as she has never worked. He basically wants to upset her, which I told him IS COMPLETELY WRONG and to not use me and my unborn child to do that. I am 17 weeks pregnant already and yes, I did have sex, but don't we all do? I was single 2 years, and the fact I got caught on the patch was a shock to me, but my eldest really wanted a sibling and I wanted to be a mum so I kept the baby. I am more than self sufficient, I never asked for his money. I am upset he said those things to his ex when I am not even qualified yet, and I wanted to keep my pregnancy to myself and he knew all this.I know he is not good for me, but I wanted opinions whether I lost my unborns daughter dad to a fault if my own.He just blocked my number etc. So...there you go...

OP posts:
Drinkingallthewine · 12/02/2021 17:23

Oh lovely.
He stiffs his children on maintenance and when his ex has the audacity to wonder how the fuck she'll feed HIS kids, He is nasty and goady telling her that she failed at giving him a DD. And then there's the implied threat that you are a social worker so therefore could cause difficulties for her and her family should she get mad at him.

You know what to do? dump this nasty fucker before a social worker is assessing you and your ability to keep your DD protected from a verbally abusive and manipulative parent, which will undoubtedly cause issues with your chosen career.

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