Are there any men who don't cheat....

[Manda2725]

Okay, so I'm feeling a bit down tbh. As per previous thread I just hit rid of my first boyfriend in 10 years who I found out was chatting with women online. My partner prior to this had an affair and left me 7 months pregnant with our second child.
I feel so ready to settle down, get married and do all that stuff but what's the point with all these bloody men and wen who don't give a damn about cheating.
I literally had a message from a guy on my Facebook offering himself on a plate to me (he has a girlfriend)... And tbh it's the last thing I need and just confirms yet again that faithful relationships are hard to come by.
I'm actually giving up and I'm only 40 😔...
I asked the guy why men do this and he said "no man is ever really happy, they are always looking for something better"
That cut my soul deep. Do you guys think there really are decent, faithful men out there who are genuinely happy with what they have.

@DisneyMillie sorry you’ve gone through that. Sounds bloody tough. You sound like a level headed strong lady. Thanks for your reply.

Why just men. People cheat. I know more women who have than men.

My father never cheated on my mother during their 10 year marriage but my mother had an affair, there are still plenty of men out there who don’t commit adultery. However, I have seen for myself over the last few years how many affairs are happening.

My current dp is the only one who I would be truly shocked by if he cheated. I do trust him as our relationship stands today, but I don't trust anyone fully.

[quote longhaulstress]This lady is a blogger on affairs/cheating and I think this article sums up cheaters and why they do it pretty well.

www.chumplady.com/2012/05/a-spectrum-of-cheaters/[/quote]
This is a really helpful article. Mine was definitely a serial cheater!

All men will take advantage of opportunities they are certain you'll never discover.

The ones branded cheats are the unfortunate ones who got caught or caught real feelings for the other women. She is likely to be cheated on too in the future. Can't teach an old dog new tricks they say.

DP doesn't cheat.

But we talk quite openly and I know in his younger days long before he met me, he was a real runaround. When he got older, he changed.

I tend to think men change when they can't be bothered with all that anymore, its too much hard work. But who knows?

I still wouldn't say he'd NEVER cheat though. But then again I wouldn't say a woman would never cheat either.

Many years ago when I was younger I had a large group of friends, many of whom were in long term relationships or married, some with children. I happened to split up with my ex H and there was a period of 4 or 5 years between then and getting together with my now DH.

During that time, most of my friends' other halves made it clear to me one way or the other that they would be up for a bit on the side, and all I had to do was say the word.

It was quite unnerving and made me really uncomfortable.

The only ones who let me be were the single blokes, because they knew we were just friends. I could go to the pub with several single male friends and not have to fend any of them off.

People saying they'd DP has never cheated. How can you know this?

Well, I actually do know my DH hasn't cheated. He's always called or texted me at lunchtime while having a brief walk during his 20 minute lunch break and called/texted me before coming straight home, sometimes stopping at our local Tesco Express before coming home.

He leaves his phone lying around at home and I know his password. (I don't look through it, but he allows our DDs to do so.

Then we're both so knackered looking after our two adopted DDs (11 and 8), who have a lot of difficulty settling down at night that we just collapse into bed afterwards.

So I don't think even the biggest cynic could find any room for cheating there. I don't require him to contact me, but he likes to check in with me.

It's a boring life, you might say. But it's secure and we're both on the same page.

That was before lockdown, of course. Now we're always at home lol.

@Mittens030869 my exdp did the same, called non stop, text non stop. But it was the numbers in his blocked list and apps he deleted.

I'm not saying he will cheat at all, what I'm saying is there isn't always BIG signs.

My bloke does not cheat. All my other blokes did. They either do or don't and there is no rhyme nor reason for it.
For the record, I don't cheat either.

@Redflaggs

He never texted nonstop, only a brief check in. Either that or a brief telephone call. No, you are wrong to suggest that all men cheat.

And no, I'm not being naive. I have only to think of the way in which my F deceived my DM into thinking that he was a wonderful father when in fact he was an abuser. And she's a very bright woman, so if she could be deceived I certainly could be.

But she was preoccupied with work and failed to see what was happening under her nose. My DH simply doesn't have the opportunity to cheat, there's never been any time that hassle been accounted for. Not because I press him, it because I do actually trust my judgement.

If anything had been going to happen, it would have been before we had our DDs. They literally leave us completely exhausted and my DH collapses on the bed.

I guess a lot of people would find it too predicted

Whoops, that was supposed to say, 'too predictable'. . But I'm quite happy that way.

I can also vouch for my BILs and friends DHs, though I don't know them well enough to say I trust them 100%.

@TheViewFromDownHere

Tbh, I much prefer shorter men. I'm 5'3 and the last 2 guys I've dated have been a similar height to me - I was slightly taller than the last.

It's difficult because I actively prefer short men but so many have hang ups about their height that it ruins things. Women seem to turn their insecurities in on themselves and beat themselves up over it. Whereas men turn it outwards and take it out on those around them.

I don't want to be an emotional punchbag for a man who thinks he'd do better than me if he were taller and so resents me for being all he can get.

Of course not all men cheat. However it is quite depressing when you realise how many do, or how many would given the chance. The vast majority don’t make it obvious!

The men who you think are blissfully married are usually the ones who are cheats. Married men who have approached me are the ones likely to have the wife that's on here saying "my husband would never never chear'. Of course he is going to be the loving, caring, perfect husband who is very attentive. They will be right next to you in bed while you sleep faking playing video games and texting OW. Or out with OW and phone wife and blatantly lie who they are out with and how they love thier wife. These men who cheat are some of the BEST cover up merchants.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4160335-Fucking-men

Well this is the thread I've just started (hope you don't mind, me sharing, OP). In my experience, those who haven't cheated haven't done so yet or haven't been discovered yet.

I don't know how many of those men are trying it on with other women. I know at least one definitely is but the others..? Would never suspect.

I have a very poor view of men nowadays tbh.

Married men who have approached me are the ones likely to have the wife that's on here saying "my husband would never cheat"

Completely agree with this. Of the men who have hit on me, only one has been renowned for it. The rest are loyal, loving family men.

Bollocks are they.

Personally i have never cheated. Other than the morales and self respect side of things. Simply because I cannot be asked to cover my tracks. And the thought of having to hide my emotions from a current partner if I were going out with someone else I fancy just sounds like sooo much work. I can barely tell a lie comfortably let alone live with a lie. Also I hate drama and find confrontations exhausting.
Why do some men cheat though? I guess none of the above is an issue for them and the thrill of sex is insatiable.

Harry Redknapp, he's the only one I can think of.

The rest of them, give them the opportunity and they would.

I've known many many men who have never cheated and I've never been cheated on, or I know this is much as anyone can possibly know this.

@Melange99

Harry Redknapp, he's the only one I can think of.

The rest of them, give them the opportunity and they would.

God how depressing . Why on earth do we even bother with them

I don't know, but I do think that given the right (wrong?) circumstamces even good men (and women) will cheat.

I don't buy the black and white evil bastard thing. Some men are undoubtedly serial philanderers with no thought for anyone but themselves, but I think a lot of affairs involve good people who've made poor decisions in difficult situations, often in an attempt to keep everyone happy. The secrecy comes about through not wanting to hurt anyone. They themselves are rarely happy with the position they've got themselves in.