Phrases that make you swipe left

[JimmyJabs]

I'm a glutton for punishment, so I've recently gone back on OLD, and I'm finding it something of a trial so far. All the things that used to annoy me about people's profiles are still exactly the same as when I was last doing this! These are my instant nope phrases:

My kids are my life (so where would a potential girlfriend fit in? Also, that's just basic parenting...)

I don't take myself/life too seriously (almost guaranteed to be immature and flaky, and leave all the boring life admin to some other sucker)

Not looking for a penpal (will exchange a maximum of 5 messages with you before suggesting that you meet up for 'fun 😉')

Is anyone genuine on here? (Dude, maybe don't advertise the fact that nobody ever replies to you)

I'm 6ft, because apparently that matters (while being short is not unattractive to me, passive aggression certainly is)

What are your instantly offputting phrases? I'd be intrigued to know what men have to say about this too, in case I'm being inadvertently annoying myself...

Haha guys basically can't say anything at all then!

@Singledad83

Haha guys basically can't say anything at all then!

There are 171,146 words in the English language. Surely there must therefore be a combination of some of them which you can use without sounding like an arrogant arse/sleazeball/weirdo like some of the people quoted on this thread.

"Will fill this in later" They never do, if youre too lazy to even make the minimum effort on an OLD site I have a strong suspicion youll make zero effort at a relationship so what are you even doing here in the first place, pal?

"All the usual pastimes". In the hobbies/interests section. Well, that's entirely subjective and also lazy (and concidentally is on my ex's profile so in his case means watching loads of porn and messaging on an OLD app day and night).

@Singledad83

Haha guys basically can't say anything at all then!

There isn't much to you if you've read this thread of what not to say and you can't think of anything else you might write

@Singledad83

Haha guys basically can't say anything at all then!

Yes, that's right. Take away all the cliches and bad jokes, and you're left with nothing with which to express yourself. It's a terrible thing, being a man online.

@Singledad83

Haha guys basically can't say anything at all then!

A lot of them don't......

@Singledad83

Haha guys basically can't say anything at all then!

Well, only if they're educationally challenged...

@Singledad83

Haha guys basically can't say anything at all then!

swipe

@Singledad83

Haha guys basically can't say anything at all then!

To be fair, theres a few precise phrases that set my teeth on edge and would usually result in me blocking/ignoring/swiping left, such as:

haha

But especially the use of the word outburst. For some reason, anything you say to these older men who regularly lurk on OLD in my area like to refer to any expression of opinion by a woman as an outburst.

These little phrases tell me that they are not very bright and a bit manipulative.

FWIW SingleDad I'm not really single, I met my Swiss national boyfriend at a language school before lockdown and haven't been able to see him since July due to the pandemic. But we talk about linguistics, hiking in the Alps and other mountain areas of Europe, differences and similarities in our cultures, and more mundane things.

There is a whole world out there which you can talk about in your bio on OLD, and if you really can't think of anything that isn't annoying or offensive, then thats no-one's fault but yours.

@Singledad83 Are you one of those men who likes a bit of "bantz"?

cringe

I don't get this: guys can't say anthing.

Hi, I'm Dave and have been single for about a year. I'm looking for a long term relationship. I like playing bridge and that do one a week with a few friends. I'm a civil engineer, and have been doing that for 15 years now. I really like my job. I'm also like hiking and getting out into the fresh air when I can. Other interests are live music and pub quizzes. Please message me if you want to chat with a view to meeting up.

Okaaay so Dave sounds a bit beige and perhaps not my cup of tea but he's stable, got a good job, tells you what his interests are and what he's looking for and doesn't sound to up himself.

It's better than: Oy oy saveloy!!!!!!!!!! Only tens need apply, no slappers. I'm into fags, football and pole dancers. Got five kids but don't worry, I don't see them. If you want more deets ask.

I don't get this: guys can't say anthing.

I suspect it's more about what they are communicating than what they are actually saying.

If someone's sole passion is cycling/ football/ fishing it just seems strange to me: have they really got to middle age ignoring their own children, books, films, music, cooking? It's like they have snipped out the 20 years they were married and spliced their 45 year old selves onto the trajectory their lives were on at 15 when they knew a lot about bicycle gears. It just makes them seem self-absorbed, not "passionate"

"Guys can't say anything" - well, actually you can say anything you like, but you can't expect women to be drawn to you if you say annoying shit that we've already seen on the 10+ profiles before yours. I'm sure there are women out there who don't mind "my kids are my world, if you want to know more just ask, fuck off if you're on Insta" etc, so if you truly feel that that's the best way to express your personality, nobody is stopping you!

Guys can't say anything well, the same can be said for women. Men putting "no drama" on their profiles are to be steered clear of, in the opinion of most of the women on here. We can't all be full of drama, can we?

To me that statement points to poor communication skills, a lack of integrity and accountability.

Saying that, your profile could appear clean and decent and you could still turn out to be disappointing. That goes for both men and women.

' Your mum will love me'
' I enjoy the finer things in life'
' Own teeth and hair lol'
' Don't take myself too seriously'
' Only swipe right if your genuine"

I commented earlier in the thread and have continued to agree with everyone’s posts! One thing I’ve wondered, do you think as many women leave their profiles blank as men? I’ve lost track of the number of profiles I’ve seen with not a word written on them - do you think that makes it easier for them to pretend to be something they aren’t? Particularly with Bumble... right swipe on everyone... might get lucky and some might swipe back... I’ll see what she says to me first and play my cards from there.

Also wondered on the back of other threads that have been here over the last wee while, do some men view OLD as a freebie Only Fans? The potential (particularly over continued lockdown) to have some one-to-one dirty chat and see some photos without having to subscribe to anything?

I don't really understand why men try to get "nudes" from women on OLD. Sure, it's free porn, but there's plenty of that available on the internet and they don't even have to talk someone into providing it. Surely it doesn't work all that often?

As an aside, I do like the way they seem to think calling them "nudes" makes it classier somehow. I'd be tempted to send a picture of the Rokeby Venus, but that would only encourage further interaction.

My ex's OLD profile says he wants to meet someone "positive" who "enjoys her own life and wants lots of fun times together". This means he wants a woman who will only want to see him a couple of times a week for sex and doesn't mind him cheating with lots of other women.

@pocketwarm

I commented earlier in the thread and have continued to agree with everyone’s posts! One thing I’ve wondered, do you think as many women leave their profiles blank as men? I’ve lost track of the number of profiles I’ve seen with not a word written on them - do you think that makes it easier for them to pretend to be something they aren’t? Particularly with Bumble... right swipe on everyone... might get lucky and some might swipe back... I’ll see what she says to me first and play my cards from there.

Also wondered on the back of other threads that have been here over the last wee while, do some men view OLD as a freebie Only Fans? The potential (particularly over continued lockdown) to have some one-to-one dirty chat and see some photos without having to subscribe to anything?

Thats what I've wondered (the only Fans thing). Or free sex chat lines (are those still a thing?) I mean, who on earth indulges them?

And fgs don't have a blank screen or a random scenic photo as your profile photo on Tinder and delete your bio! Before I deleted it, I removed my photos and used one of my phone screensavers instead. Went back to it 5 days later and there were literally 30 plus messages. I think 80% of them were "hi, how r u?" s, and the rest were "Got any more pics?"

I totally agree with most of the stuff on here. I spent most of last year on Tinder and it was a bit soul destroying, although it was a bit of entertainment during the lockdowns...!

However, on Boxing Day boredom crept in and I went back on, so glad I did. Matched with a guy I thought was totally out of my league (I'm not ugly but I'm not stunning either) and after a few days chatting he asked for my number. Still had 'catfish' on the brain so randomly video called him on NYE when I was a little drunk 😳 and we've been video calling ever since.

I've answered his video calls when I've had lazy days with no makeup and shit hair and he still thinks I'm beautiful 🤷🏼‍♀️ Can't wait for lockdown to be over so we can meet properly but at the moment it's looking good, no red flags atm 😁

So there are a couple of gems, but you really have to search for them. I'm 42 and was starting to get a little cynical!

@Lonelycrab

Anything banter related

Partner in crime

Cosy nights in on the sofa

All of these.

If you think OLD is sad you should try the asexual forums, the most pathetic men on the planet.
I go on there because I don't want any enthusiastic shagging, I can cope with maybe once every 6 months if I'm drunk but I'm basically asexual and just looking for a partner to share things with and a few hugs, usual couple stuff.
The men on there are just really really weird. Like that Bruce Willis film where people quietly rotted away locked in their bedrooms and lived through their supermodel type robotic avatars.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

If you think OLD is sad you should try the asexual forums, the most pathetic men on the planet. I go on there because I don't want any enthusiastic shagging, I can cope with maybe once every 6 months if I'm drunk but I'm basically asexual and just looking for a partner to share things with and a few hugs, usual couple stuff. The men on there are just really really weird. Like that Bruce Willis film where people quietly rotted away locked in their bedrooms and lived through their supermodel type robotic avatars.

The men on there are just really really weird. Like that Bruce Willis film where people quietly rotted away locked in their bedrooms and lived through their supermodel type robotic avatars.

I don't know that film but now the forum sounds intriguing!

@Lonelycrab

cosy nights in on the sofa

Or derivatives thereof like ‘I’m very affectionate’ or ‘I like lots of kisses and cuddles’. All basically mean: my last girlfriend didn’t have enough sex with me which was so unfair/I will be a total sex pest.