Phrases that make you swipe left

[JimmyJabs]

I'm a glutton for punishment, so I've recently gone back on OLD, and I'm finding it something of a trial so far. All the things that used to annoy me about people's profiles are still exactly the same as when I was last doing this! These are my instant nope phrases:

My kids are my life (so where would a potential girlfriend fit in? Also, that's just basic parenting...)

I don't take myself/life too seriously (almost guaranteed to be immature and flaky, and leave all the boring life admin to some other sucker)

Not looking for a penpal (will exchange a maximum of 5 messages with you before suggesting that you meet up for 'fun 😉')

Is anyone genuine on here? (Dude, maybe don't advertise the fact that nobody ever replies to you)

I'm 6ft, because apparently that matters (while being short is not unattractive to me, passive aggression certainly is)

What are your instantly offputting phrases? I'd be intrigued to know what men have to say about this too, in case I'm being inadvertently annoying myself...

Out of interest then....what makes a good bio?

I believe that has been answered if you rtft! Just don't put any of the shit that's been mentioned on this thread. There have been many repetitions of the same few phrases, so it's not like there's hundreds of things to avoid.

All I can remember of my buried time on OLD is that there were lots of men with photos of their kids. Obviously intended to show them in a good light. Far try too hard. If youre genuine, you don't think too hard in advance about that. It's so obviously targetting single mums for sex.

I say that because nearly every single message I got sooner or later suggested sex. Sex with a man I'd never met before.

I really think the area I live in must be very rough or something. Loads of rough looking men, many of whom looked 15-20 years older than they claimed to be. I even recognised two long term partners of people I knew. Are they all in open relationships or something? I also saw one man whom I knew had been charged with stalking his ex girlfriend.

And loads of identikit bald men with their tops off, staring menacingly into the camera, with unblinking, gimlet, psycho stares.

I always think a lot of the men on OLD are actually trying to appeal to other men, not women.

I’ll echo some other male PPs who’ve pointed out that many of these cliches appear on female profiles on OLD too.

I think a good profile tries to be reasonably honest, funny (if the writer can pull that off) and provide enough information to spark a conversation whilst still being internet safety conscious.

My experience was that 1 in 10 got anywhere close to that and so they tended to stand out in the sea of banal cliches and unfinished profiles that surrounded them.

So many people included little or no information and the pics were group shots with nothing to indicate which of them the profile belonged to.

I just flicked on from those, tbh but, assuming someone wanted to bother, how are they supposed to write a personalised opener to that person? Is it really surprising that so many resort to “hi, how are you?”

I always think a lot of the men on OLD are actually trying to appeal to other men, not women.

I think some may assume that what impresses them will impress everyone. So if he is impressed by a man who looks tough, it follows that all women will want to see tough-looking men. If it's his dream to be sent pictures of a woman's genitals, then it follows all women will be delighted to receive a photo of his cock.

@havecourage8bekind

Out of interest then....what makes a good bio?

Can't you Google this or something?

I tended to go by photos first, because physical attraction is important to me, cand I don't do men who are 20 years older than me and would be mistaken for being my father.

After that, I'd rather see just basic information such as their education level or hobbies.

Some phrase they think makes them sound clever isn't going to convince me they're fanciable. It would make me think they're manipulative. The usual clichés make me think the same.

So if you're old and physically unattractive, poorly educated or manipulative, then OLD isn't some magic platform that will hide these drawbacks and suddenly give you access to lots of hot young women. For instance, if a beautiful young university graduate reads a rant from a man advising women not to use "those bunny ear selfies, theyre not going to think" My, what an erudite interesting man this is", they're going to think "this is an odd man who knows lots of women who use bunny eared selfies and who criticises women".

Basically, I will now avoid any man who has a history of using OLD, especially Tinder.

OLD is one big disappointment.

It really doesn't matter what the bio/profile looks like. Sure, it helps somewhat in weeding out the undesirables. Don't be fooled by well worded bios and a selection of a pleasant looking selfies, though.

I recently walked away from someone I met on OLD. OLD and SM has opened my eyes to the magnitude/sheer mass of seriously miserable, damaged people out there. I thought, most likely like his exes, that I could help him heal. Now I've removed myself and changed my focus, I'm just gonna pray for him.

The seeking their "partner in crime" one.

Not always as it seems, he was after a getaway driver, we nearly got away with it, bloody one way system!!!!

My kids..............don't need to know any more just a nope.

I'm into kinky sex, BDSM, rubber, polyamory.......nope

My cousin once listed his interests as "running and walking", I did ask him if he was going to add crawling as well. Maybe rolling.

Tactile.....get off me you creep.

Anyone in the photo who is not fully clothed, with a top on.

Bed selfies. Any mention of kissing gives me the heave and as so many others have said, anything that either explicitly or passive aggressively rants about either their OLD experience to date or women in general.

Not a phrase but any bloke posing for a photo with a pint glass in his hand, I enjoy a drink as much as anyone but if you've got no photos of yourselves without a pint in your hand you have a problem.

Rants about women and selfies in the bathroom mirror, especially when you can see the urinals in the background! What are they thinking! I saw one not long ago, bathroom mirror selfie, full on posing loving himself silly completely oblivious to the man behind him using the urinal and having a wee! Ugh 🤦‍♀️

Oh yes all of these!
Especially
No drama (don’t challenge me)
Quiet nights in (too tight to go out, just wants a shag)
It’s grim. I had a long phone conversation with one recently, he was clearly trying to suss out if I had enough money to make the distance worthwhile, it was so easy to read the real version of his bs.
And the ones that just say “Hi”

OMG yes! I had forgotten the bathroom selfies! (=I’m still married so the only place I can take a picture is in the bathroom)

And another thing! - their children are their world, but they only wanted to meet women whose children don’t live with them!!

@Sally2791

And another thing! - their children are their world, but they only wanted to meet women whose children don’t live with them!!

Hmm. Obviously people are allowed to set whatever limits they wish in dating, but assuming children children and not adult children, doesn't that limit the pool so much it makes you wonder why they bother? Surely the overwhelming majority of mothers will have their kids with them at least 50% of the time?

"Nights out and nights in". So, basically just existing during the hours of darkness?

"I'm the kind of guy who will hold the door open for you and slap your arse on the way through".
Seen this one a worrying number of times.
Also people who describe themselves as "genuine". If you have to state it then you probably aren't.

Whats with the ones with their tongues sticking out? Do they think thats attractive to women or men? Is it something some women look for? Proof that a man possesses a tongue?

Oh, and "romantic walks on the beach". I think thats why I can't do online dating; I can't envisage doing romantic anything with some random man I've never met, and it gives me The Fear.

Ok I'm going to whisper this...

I'm the wrong side of forty, but not unattractive (so l'm told..love my friends)..I'm also a postgrad professional...
But I'm looking for a nice man..with basics of job (don't care what)...a home ( sorry ruling out a bedsit at 45+)...but someone holding their own..can hold a decent conversation..and obviously has an attraction.....so all I get are ..and here come the judgey bits...very unattractive men..on PIP..gold chain..tats...fag or beer or both in hand...bedroom/bathroom shots..various states of undress..I could go on.
I have taken a good look at my profile..ok picture..information that is enough to let you know a bit about me without too many details...
So ☺..and it may be me.. I don't think im all that.. but im quite offended that these men think they are in with a chance..there I've said it...really they are punching!😆....am I being picky!?...or worse a snob!

Years ago I was on Plenty of Fish and discounted anyone who was topless or had terrible grammar. Sadly that was pretty much everyone.

@onanotherday

Ok I'm going to whisper this...

I'm the wrong side of forty, but not unattractive (so l'm told..love my friends)..I'm also a postgrad professional...
But I'm looking for a nice man..with basics of job (don't care what)...a home ( sorry ruling out a bedsit at 45+)...but someone holding their own..can hold a decent conversation..and obviously has an attraction.....so all I get are ..and here come the judgey bits...very unattractive men..on PIP..gold chain..tats...fag or beer or both in hand...bedroom/bathroom shots..various states of undress..I could go on.
I have taken a good look at my profile..ok picture..information that is enough to let you know a bit about me without too many details...
So ☺..and it may be me.. I don't think im all that.. but im quite offended that these men think they are in with a chance..there I've said it...really they are punching!😆....am I being picky!?...or worse a snob!

That's been my experience - I think it's partly, that's just how it is - most people with the choice would try and meet people IRL (I don't come into contact with any guys in RL myself) and where you are in the country - I notice when I move back to my home town for the weekend the guys are so much more educated and well dressed compared to my now local area!

I am on tinder which is quite dire, did sign up out of boredom and for a bit of humour really.

There are more fake profiles than not. Just today I swiped away about 10 different profiles all with the name Williams and another handful with the name Adams. I have never in all my days met anyone with first names of Williams and Adams and from my brief viewing of 90 days fiance ( ) these are for sure all fake.

Then there is the chap with the same photo but about 4 different profiles and names. I think of it as some sort of memory game to see if I had spotted him before, and what his name was previously.......

I just can't take it too seriously really. I did start chatting to one match, his age wasn't on his profile (how as it would not let me past that setting without filling it but, anyway I digress) and so I ask his age. He is 70. He looks around 50 in his photo!

Ooh that another glaring flaw the scammers love.... Geog age 56. Standing in front on the Sydney opera house (I am not in Australia), next photo in front of the Taj Mahal etc etc, but the person in the photo is about 30 . Do people really not see these and think it a little alarming??

This thread has given me much food for thought and a good laugh.