Phrases that make you swipe left

[JimmyJabs]

I'm a glutton for punishment, so I've recently gone back on OLD, and I'm finding it something of a trial so far. All the things that used to annoy me about people's profiles are still exactly the same as when I was last doing this! These are my instant nope phrases:

My kids are my life (so where would a potential girlfriend fit in? Also, that's just basic parenting...)

I don't take myself/life too seriously (almost guaranteed to be immature and flaky, and leave all the boring life admin to some other sucker)

Not looking for a penpal (will exchange a maximum of 5 messages with you before suggesting that you meet up for 'fun 😉')

Is anyone genuine on here? (Dude, maybe don't advertise the fact that nobody ever replies to you)

I'm 6ft, because apparently that matters (while being short is not unattractive to me, passive aggression certainly is)

What are your instantly offputting phrases? I'd be intrigued to know what men have to say about this too, in case I'm being inadvertently annoying myself...

I agree. Never again will I be suggesting OLD to my single friends.

@TroyTown

I’m laughing out loud at some of these!! I wonder what phrases would make men swipe left...

Reading through this thread, there are a few bio entries that women are just as guilty of. Such as:

-"My kids are my life"
-"Don't take myself too seriously"
-Tattoos [as a hobby]
-"Just ask"
-“If you don’t look like your profile pic you need to pay for the drinks until you do”
-"If you don't like me at my worst, you won't like me at my best"
-Home owner [so what, we can discuss mortgage rates? Riveting stuff]
-"If you're not 6ft tall, swipe left [that's it, advertise just how shallow you are]
-"Hey" as a first message [on Bumble where the woman is obliged to message first]
-Spelling mistakes or txtspk in profile. Sorry, but if you are serious about wanting a relationship then you can spend five minutes including vowels in your writing, and you can proof read. If you're dyslexic then ask a friend to help with the latter.
-Pictures of kids, isn't that a safeguarding issue? Ditto "the kid is my nephew/goddaughter" - do you have the parents' permission for the photo then?

Here's a few eye-rollers from female profiles:
-"I'm never on this" [well what's the point then?]
-[Attached to above] Instagram or Snapchat usernames. [Sort of defeats the object of the whole swiping thing if you're just going to invite contact from everyone]
-"Willing to lie about how we met" [it's Tinder, most of our generation have used it at some point, it's not some kind of dodgy fetish site]
-No bio at all. How am I supposed to start a conversation when all I've got to go on is a couple of mirror selfies?

• Snapchat filters. You're 23, not 13. The dog ears one has finally fallen out of fashion (I could look past the ears but the nose just gets in the way) but now there's one where the word "cute" is typed all over their face. Why?

-Blacked out photos. I've a feeling that it's supposed to be a political statement but the bio never clarifies. Call me shallow but I'd like to have a rough idea of what you actually look like.

Plenty of Fish was basically full of people trying to make money. I'm looking for a relationship, I'm not looking for an escort or to buy nudes.

DdraigGoch I've seen all of those things on men's profiles too - even the Snapchat filters! Probably not with the same frequency that women use them, but still, I have to seriously question what sort of man thinks women will find him more attractive with dog ears and a pout.

I thought the fish was going out in favour of cycle stunts, but nope. They are all out in force again..............

@JimmyJabs

DdraigGoch I've seen all of those things on men's profiles too - even the Snapchat filters! Probably not with the same frequency that women use them, but still, I have to seriously question what sort of man thinks women will find him more attractive with dog ears and a pout.

I'm astounded.

There are no words.

A man with dog ears and a pout?

No, I just can't comprehend it.

I do wonder what the percentage of genuine people actually is on sites like Tinder are. With Tinder for example there are a lot of very attractive women, it just doesnt seem realistic.

Assume its exactly the same for both sexes.

@stout01

I do wonder what the percentage of genuine people actually is on sites like Tinder are. With Tinder for example there are a lot of very attractive women, it just doesnt seem realistic.

Assume its exactly the same for both sexes.

Not in my experience... there are actually very few genuinely very good-looking men on there. I have seen the occasional one that's obviously fake, i.e. lots of professional modelling pictures but no profile information, but mostly, it's blokes you can easily imagine living down the street with normal jobs etc. I wonder if men don't engage with Tinder if it doesn't provide them at least with the illusion that there are loads of hotties just waiting for a match?

My inbox is full of pink men since I joined aged 40. I just don't think men really in their 40's are that pink.

I'm in the minority but I don't mind a quick 'Hi!' icebreaker as long as there is info on his profile that's more important to me. I don't expect someone to spend time overthinking the first hello when they don't know whether the other person will be interested or not.
What bugs me is when you click on the profile and the about XXXX just says 'football' or 'music' that isn't a sentence there must be more to a grown man than one interest, one today just said 'sex'.

Own hair and teeth - you think my bar’s that low?

Yes, sorry @DdraigGoch, but it's true. It's weird enough that women do it - do they think men want to date women who look like animals? - but there's something very offputting about a man doing the "lying back against a pillow with his top off, doing a kissy face, and with dog ears, little dog nose, and that airbrushed effect filter that makes it look like he has no pores" thing.

@JimmyJabs

Yes, sorry *@DdraigGoch*, but it's true. It's weird enough that women do it - do they think men want to date women who look like animals? - but there's something very offputting about a man doing the "lying back against a pillow with his top off, doing a kissy face, and with dog ears, little dog nose, and that airbrushed effect filter that makes it look like he has no pores" thing.

What sort of man does it? How old are they? What sort of build? I'm just trying to comprehend the type of man who would use those (or any) filters.

I don't do OLD any more but if I read on an otherwise ok man's profile criticism of women's photos, especially the hackneyed "don't message if you've got a photo with bunny ears filter" or similar I'd decline/block them. I don't use bunny ears filters, and I'm not particularly interested in hearing about women who choose to use them. But I wouldn't dream of telling anyone using online dating what to actually include in their profiles (if I did still use it). Its up to them. If you don't like them, swipe or whatever, but you're really not saving the human race by giving free advice on which photos to use.

I've been accused of being a catfish on OLD, or asked odd questions where the man was obviously very suspicious of me, or of "being too good to be true". While thats flattering, I'm no model (I'm just photogenic and well educated and athletic) and that seems to fry some mens' brains. I really cannot be bothered persuading some random, slightly aggressive man on OLD that I am who I say I am. And a lot of the men on OLD are a bit aggressive in my area. Or rough. You know what I mean. Very few of them are capable of a basic conversation. The more (few) intelligent ones on OLD were upfront that they were just looking for "play" or no committment.

I really hate OLD and will never use it again. Dealing with that sort of rubbish just gets me down. I'll stay single til the world gets back to normal.

Generally they're men in their early 30s who are perhaps a bit plump, and have shaven heads, stubble that's not quite a beard, and chest tattoos. That's very specific, isn't it 😆. I can't speak for what younger men do because they're outside my search parameters, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's more prevalent there.

@stout01 Physical attraction for me is important. Although as you get to know someone and become drawn to them/their presence, their appearance fades in comparison of importance.

A connection that isn't based on looks, ego, social status, etc is so much more of value to me. Good looks are a bonus. I fall in love with souls not faces, as wacky as that sounds.

Probably not what you were trying to say... thought I'd share my perspective on genuinity vs attractiveness/attraction wrt dating and apps.

@JimmyJabs

Generally they're men in their early 30s who are perhaps a bit plump, and have shaven heads, stubble that's not quite a beard, and chest tattoos. That's very specific, isn't it 😆. I can't speak for what younger men do because they're outside my search parameters, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's more prevalent there.

Also men in their late 40's to 50's as well!

I'm speechless.

[quote ItisLikethis]@stout01 Physical attraction for me is important. Although as you get to know someone and become drawn to them/their presence, their appearance fades in comparison of importance.

A connection that isn't based on looks, ego, social status, etc is so much more of value to me. Good looks are a bonus. I fall in love with souls not faces, as wacky as that sounds.

Probably not what you were trying to say... thought I'd share my perspective on genuinity vs attractiveness/attraction wrt dating and apps.[/quote]
Yeah I just meant I assume the really attractive ladies profiles are kept on the website even when the person is no longer active, as another poster has mentioned probably as that attracts the male audience.

That's not me as I'm average looking so I'm not naive to think the really attractive ones would be interested!

Yeah when I was on a few sites last summer I kept coming across men using filters who had used filters not realising (?) the filter had given them fake eyelashes and lipstick. And I'd say not in a jokey way or on purpose way... in a totally clueless/strange way, usually I'd say 30s or 40s. I view women using filters equally as ridiculous. Its not really your face.

My most irritating line to come across was the pineapple on pizza 'debate'. Every fucker had it on their profile or used it as an opening line. I truly had no idea why it was a thing and had to Google it and was relieved to find i wasn't the only person irritated by it.

I don't even like pizza fullstop!

The thing about filters is that they don't work in real life. So even if you think that they make you look absolutely gorgeous in photos, what happens when he/she actually meets you?

I haven't been on tinder, but a male friend told me that he had been messaging someone and arranging to meet up, when she sent unsolicited topless pics. He was gutted and cancelled the date. He told me he'd actually wanted to get to know her, but didn't want to date someone who sends pics of her tits to strangers, and would've preferred the anticipation of seeing them for the first time naturally.

So I guess some men are the equivalent of me (no interest in a dick pic, thanks).

@stout01
When I had an OLD profile none of my photos had filters. I still don't believe that these above average attractive ladies you speak of are as attractive in real life as they seem in their carefully selected photos. As a woman, if you still look visually pleasing without makeup then you are above average looking IMO. And if you need a good layer of makeup, filters and or botox to make you look pretty, then you are just average IMO.

And what makes you think that you're average looking? Not every women fancies bulging muscles or has height as a prerequisite for dating.

[quote ItisLikethis]@stout01
When I had an OLD profile none of my photos had filters. I still don't believe that these above average attractive ladies you speak of are as attractive in real life as they seem in their carefully selected photos. As a woman, if you still look visually pleasing without makeup then you are above average looking IMO. And if you need a good layer of makeup, filters and or botox to make you look pretty, then you are just average IMO.

And what makes you think that you're average looking? Not every women fancies bulging muscles or has height as a prerequisite for dating.[/quote]
I think some people just are conventionally good looking. I agree its subjective though :)

School of hard knocks

Maybe someone can help me decipher a message I got today? It simply says "cc". I've tried Googling, and all I can come up with is carbon copy, i.e. on email, or closed caption, which is apparently a thing on TikTok. I cannot fathom how either of these definitions could constitute a chatup line. Has this bloke just sat on his phone?

I've thought of another offputting phrase, which I just actually saw on a profile that I swiped right by accident. "I'm 26, not 46". I get that this is probably what men do when they want to meet an older woman and they know they're unlikely to show up in the searches of anyone much over 35... but what's the point, when they're just not interested? I don't want to date someone young enough to be my son, especially not one who doesn't respect my right to rule him out of my options.