Are they playing some sort of weird game?

[NewYearDahlia]

I recently found out that DH has a long-standing friendship (I'm talking years) with a woman and I knew nothing about the friendship. DH tells me there's nothing to worry about.
Unfortunately I am beginning to think there's much more to it that I don't understand. Looking through the photos on my phone, I took a photo of DH on a coach we were on waiting to leave the airport the last holiday before lockdown. In the background through the opposite window I can see her sitting on the next fucking coach to ours. She's in profile, looking down at her phone, it's definitely her. At the time I took the photo, DH was also on his phone - it's in his hand. It looks like he was having a messenger conversation but the image is blurry.

I know some people are going to think I'm trolling but I can assure you this situation I'm in is horribly true - so much that it's made me feel very anxious because I don't know what's going on. I'm not going to ask him about this photo - we've had the chat about the friendship and he's adamant nothing is going on.

I know at one point she had access to the photos on his old phone because he gave it to her and it was updating despite him saying he thought he'd reset it. I'm now wondering if they shared location via this phone.

I didn't see her on the plane nor in the airport, nor during the holiday.
Just wondering if anyone knows if this is a thing - like, do two people who maybe 'like' one another do 'naughty' little things - like booking the same holidays - as fucked up as it sounds - for the kick of it?

Dahlia, how have you been?

I've stepped back to look at the bigger picture and I think the shock of finding out about the secret friendship and then the photo might have made me a bit paranoid. So I'm probably overreacting about the message following Valentine's Day. As people say, stick to the hard facts. Those facts are pretty damning and I'm really quite shocked at the amount of effort he must have put in to keeping these secrets from me over several years.
When you ask someone outright why they kept something a secret and they say that they didn't, they just didn't think to mention it, there's nothing more to be said really. When I point out what I would have done in the same situation he just looks at me blankly like he doesn't understand. He's not stupid, though.
The pp who said I'm playing my cards close to my chest is right. I think that's the right thing for me to do right now so that I can get my mojo back. Thankfully I have never experienced any mental health issues before but this has wobbled me nonetheless.

Do you trust this man?
Is he kind to you?
Is he respectful of you?
Does he have your back?
Does he support and encourage you?
Are you a team?

If the answers are “No” - you don’t have a functional relationship never mind a fulfilling one - regardless of whether he is having and affair / stalking / obsession whatever.

You don’t need proof of an affair or bad behaviour to move on from a relationship - you just need to know that you are unhappy, disconnected or incompatible.