Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Could you accept a 'love child?'

737 replies

Namechangeforthisone83 · 30/01/2021 15:58

As the title says really. 8yrs married. 2 dc (9, 6). Deeply love my dh but I don't know what to do. Technically no cheating involved as 'we were on a break' (sounds so Ross and Rachel) for around 3 months 🙄 he didn't want the child but she did so here we are as it gets nearer I just feel devastated. All I can think about is the humility I will suffer if I continue to be with him. I never thought this would happen to me.

OP posts:
Snakeprint · 19/05/2021 16:31

@TheGoldenCircle

No, I couldn't.

In fact, I have played this scenario in my head a few times. DH and I have had many ups and downs. About 17 years ago he had what I call an emotional affair. I didn't know it back then, but I know it now from educating myself on here. He went away on a business trip and stayed in contact with a work colleague over there until I found out about it and hit the f*cking roof. We broke up for about 6 weeks, still in the same house.

My crazy mind often wanders to perhaps it was an affair and what if one day some child comes looking for him.

What I do know is that I will never put up with that shit again. He humiliated me once, he won't be allowed to do it again. If I ever hear about an affair, or if I ever sniff an emotional affair again he'll be out on his arse. Never mind a love child. Definitely NOT.

He has got everyone running around after him hasn't he. Two women with his babies/ children fighting over him. His mum and his aunty getting involved and poor, poor him having to go to the doctor as it is all too much for him. What a virile man. I bet he thinks he has a golden cock.

What your ex has done is split from you, shagged around thinking whay hey, I'm single, without a thought or without grief for his 9-year marriage and his 2 DC. How many other women did he shag during these 3 months? Just the one love child?

I would send him and his golden cock packing.

Spot on
nancywhitehead · 19/05/2021 16:35

I would struggle. You were on a break, not only did he have sex but unprotected sex? Even if you agree that being on a break can include sex with other people, unprotected sex is just ridiculous - presumably he understands human biology and what that could lead to??

Sorry but I wouldn't be getting back with him if I were you because he is either stupid, inconsiderate, thoughtless or a combination of the three - and none of those are attractive qualities in a partner!

TeaAlwaysTea · 19/05/2021 16:38

Original post is from January

I had hoped the OP was back to update now that the baby will be here.

cordelia16 · 19/05/2021 16:41

Ugh. First thing I do every thread is check the original posting date. Missed this one completely. Ah well.

katy1213 · 19/05/2021 16:46

I wouldn't, and I wouldn't accept my children being dragged into it either. His mess to sort out or ignore, but nothing to do with you.

katy1213 · 19/05/2021 16:47

And it's not a 'love child.' Where was the love?

FortniteBoysMum · 19/05/2021 17:07

If he says they used protection I would say first step is dna test. Like you say he hardly knows her so who's to say its definitely his. Maybe there was an overlap and his the better option for her.

GlassBoxSpectacular · 19/05/2021 17:07

@Hullish

The OP hasn’t been back to the thread since January
And yet still people are falling over themselves to offer the benefit of their unique insight and wisdom Grin
LeilaLiesLow · 19/05/2021 17:12

@user47000000000 Why do you a) find an old thread or b) bother to resurrect it after 5 months?

THIS THREAD IS 5 MONTHS OLD.THE OP HAS GONE

Does no one bother to check the dates of threads?

simonlebone · 19/05/2021 18:54

For me, thís relationship would be over. However, I would leave the door open for the child and let your children know they have another sibling. Adult business and complications shouldn't make it difficult for children to know family. If you decide to stay, try to be open and let your children know about their sibling, it's not the kids fault that this happened.

Countrycode · 19/05/2021 19:37

Definitely not, I would find it too humiliating and my pride would force me to end the marriage regardless how much I loved him

Hollywolly1 · 19/05/2021 21:16

Even if the woman hadn't become pregnant I'd still leave the marriage and I wonder why you were having problems that you needed a break,do you think he was playing away back then.
I also question why this woman is so hell bent on having a relationship with your husband because it might suggest it was a relationship all along.
If it was me I would get a divorce and let the other woman have your trash because this so called man is no prize.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page