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Original poster

What's the worst thing your parents have said to you?

307 replies

again2020 · 29/01/2021 14:27

Posting on here for solidarity and to prevent me from venting to anyone in real life.

I've been offered 4 days at work from September, up from my usual 3. My parents used to do a bit of childcare before my daughter went to nursery. I broached the subject with them today about childcare 1 day a week (support bubble) and my dad had a huge rant and lost his temper with me, saying he finds DD hard work and he doesn't enjoy seeing his children or grandchildren and he doesn't have many years left to do what he wants (he's 71). Fair enough, a bit upsetting but I know not everyone wants to be childcare for their grandkids.

He later came and said his children (me and DB) have been a huge disappointment and he wouldn't recommend being a parent to anyone.

So as not to drip feed, DB is a recovering addict. He's getting a lot better though. I'm in a difficult relationship and am on antidepressants. But I don't think we've been terrible children or become terrible people. I'm sat on my own upset waiting for DD to finish playing with my mum and I don't plan on coming back to see them anytime soon.

Handhold, anyone? What's the worst thing a parent has said to you?

OP posts:
MintyChops · 05/02/2021 23:06

I had had a miscarriage and my DF said to me by way of consolation/ sympathy, “ I suppose you had a good whinge and a glass of wine?”

longtompot · 05/02/2021 23:19

When I told my mum my gp put me on anti depressants to help with pnd, she said you don't need those, just get on with things. That's what I did! It took a lot to tell her about this, and it hurt, though not as much as I imagine what your dad said to you op.

EssexLioness · 06/02/2021 00:15

Where do I begin?

Told almost daily that me and my siblings were responsible for my mum’s mental illness
I’m fat/ ugly/ a bitch/ whore/ stupid/slut (all when I was aged 10-15)
She hates me and wishes I was dead/ had never had me
I was also told that if I came home and there was no sign of mum I should go up and check the bathroom as she will have slit her wrists and be dead in the bath and to not let my siblings see (she said that a lot and I got home from school before my siblings)
That she was disappointed in me after I had just walked out on an extremely violent marriage, and that I prob deserved it as I was a fucking bitch anyway

My dad:
I looked like a slut/ prostitute
He would throw me out of the house if I ever got pregnant or brought home a black boyfriend (wtf)
That I wasn’t his daughter cos my mum had fucked someone else (not true, just lashing out at mum in an argument

Prob a lot more but that’s all that I can think of for now

CarelessSquid07A · 06/02/2021 00:21

I was about 6 or 7 and admittedly I was a terrible sleeper. Could never settle and would fidget a lot and was terrified of the dark, I often crawled in with Dm and I remember one particularly bad night she said very clearly, if you don't stop moving and go to sleep I'm calling social services to take you away.

Now I know she was tired and a lone parent etc but the awful feeling those words gave me stuck with me for many years. I was absolutely terrified.

Then as a young teen very off hand, Oh you're Dad was never interested in seeing you he only ever came to contact meetings to see me.

Now this may well be true as he was a deadbeat Dad and I'll never know as he's dies but it was incredibly painful to hear and triggered a loss of self esteem I've never truly recovered from.

Before that all I'd ever heard was he was too young and to be a Dad so it was a terrible shock to hear he just didnt want me out of the blue like that and that she was wanted.

DustyMaiden · 06/02/2021 00:53

I always win the worst think a
Parent has said contest.

On announcing my pregnancy after my DD was stillborn; my DM said “well I’m not buying it anything, I wasted my money last time.”

bluecampbell · 06/02/2021 01:16

Dustymaiden I am so sorry, what a horrific thing to say Thanks

DustyMaiden · 06/02/2021 01:25

Than you x

MadameBlobby · 06/02/2021 01:27

My mum once called me a fat bastard in front of some of her friends. I was a size 14. I’m now a 22 and got a totally fucked up relationship with food.

MadameBlobby · 06/02/2021 01:28

@DustyMaiden

I always win the worst think a Parent has said contest.

On announcing my pregnancy after my DD was stillborn; my DM said “well I’m not buying it anything, I wasted my money last time.”

Oh my god Flowers
ememem84 · 06/02/2021 01:33

Dm recently said to me (when I was going through a bit of a tough time with dh) that I should stay with him for the children itd break her and Dd if I left dh because they love him so much and I should be doing more and if I left itd bring shame on her and what would her friends think.

I’d said to her that dh was depressed screaming at me every day for things and I just wasn’t happy.

Things have turned a corner with dh now but I won’t forget what she said in a hurry.

MadameBlobby · 06/02/2021 01:34

My mum is just massively tactless. She’s not a cruel or unkind woman.

Boopthesnoot1 · 06/02/2021 02:58

My mum to me: I should of stopped at 1 child (im child no.2)
When I was 3 I told my mum that I was touched down there by a boy who was living with us, they kicked him out but never told anyone outside the family. When I was 16 I found out about the incident by my aunt and asked my mum why she never had him charged, she said because they were busy.
My dad said about my half sister after an appointment with the child doctor "we just have to accept that some people in this world are dumb and won't amount to anything and that's ok" she was 9 at the time.

Iwantavaccine · 06/02/2021 10:48

A memory of my father I can't forget is him pulling down my pants just before I went through puberty and beating me. I remember lying on my bedroom floor feeling totally debased by him. There were quite a few smacks/beatings and I was a bit uncomfortable around men. He would goad me that I didn't have a boyfriend. I was a late bloomer in that department.

Gatehouse77 · 06/02/2021 10:53

I won't repeat it verbatim on here but it was one sentence from my father which basically said he didn't give a shit about me (or my sister and probably my brothers) or what I did and not my mother either.

I was 17.

We were estranged for a good few years (not immediately following that statement) and have a very odd relationship now. He's more like an older relative that we see from time to time. Although, I think age and covid are having an effect on him. He's using much more emotive language these days 😳

Hailtomyteeth · 06/02/2021 12:54

@Iwantavaccine's post reminded me ... the goading that I didn't have a boyfriend began when I was a toddler. Any mention of a boy's name would start a sing-song chorus of "Is he your boyfriend? Is he your boyfriend?" I was in my early thirties before I finally realised I couldn't mention men to my parents at all, and didn't, until my mum was dying 25 years later. During that time they made comments about how I was 'strange' and 'unnatural' for not having a partner and that 'other people aren't like you' a phrase that put me in the wrong and was usually trotted out when a new couple had formed and were thought to have started a sexual relationship. My parents were bloody awful!

Comps83 · 06/02/2021 13:25

' I wish you'd never been born'

Anonposter12345 · 19/10/2021 22:06

My mum started turning toxic I think when I was around 15/16 from then on she was awful. I remember I was depressed quite bad around 18/19 and my ex and I had not long finished ( he left me for someone else ) and I remember my mum shouting at me no wonder (ex) doesn’t want you why would he want a sad pathetic excuse like you ... in that moment I knew our relationship would never be the same! It broke me , we still have contact but we often fall out , I feel like now in adult life age 26 I can’t feel I can’t hurt I just block out pain because that’s all I have experienced since I was a teenager 😔

AutumnIsTheBest · 19/10/2021 23:37

My mother used to tell me that she had to hide the knives before she went to bed as she was terrified I would murder everyone in their beds because I was so evil.

I was around 10 and sleepwalked after going through my parents very acrimonious divorce, had been prevented from seeing my father, had a new stepfather and baby half sibling, been moved across the country and had been sexually abused by a family member.

No surprise that I was terrified of falling asleep for years, had serious sleep deprivation and used to wish I could tie myself to my bed. Also developed ‘harm’ OCD, seriously considering suicide after suffering horrendously when I had my own DC as I was afraid I might harm them in my sleep.

She told me she had no regrets when I confronted her about this after counselling Hmm.

Athenajm80 · 19/10/2021 23:58

A year or so after my mum died, I was around 14, and I got "you're a prickly little hedgehog that's impossible to love" from my dad. He also said I should be sectioned but my grandparents (mum's parents) would fight it just to spite him.
At a similar age, we were on holiday and the friends I'd made all decorated my bag by signing it and writing messages. One girl, Signe Johansson,/ from Halifax, wrote "Athena will snog anyone providing he's got good arms and nice eyes" It was a jokey comment, her and I got on really well and actually stayed in touch for ages after (in fact, i have looked for her since on FB but no joy). Dad saw it and went apeshit. He told me I was nothing but a tuppenny whore. For the first time, I argued back and said "like father, like daughter". God knows how I got away with that one, I think he was too shocked to react! He had had various affairs behind the backs of my mum and his previous wife, so to be fair, I was speaking the truth!

On a positive note, I nearly had a heart attack a few months later when he kind of defended me against my step mum who normally could do no wrong in his eyes. I made a comment about the house we were living in, saying that when I was older, I'd have a house like that. My step mum (who has always married well and so never had to work) said that I'd have to marry a rich man for that. Dad replied with "I didn't send my daughters to private school for them to have to rely on a man"

We actually get on really well these days, but he was a complete cunt when I was younger and struggling with mum dying and being raped. I was a twat as a teenager and we're so similar that we just clashed very badly. Plus his dad was vile to him, so he didn't know how to be a dad. I can recognise all that in me now so totally understand although I still remember how I felt back then.

noirchatsdeux · 20/10/2021 00:18

A recent one - we were talking about my father (he left her 32 years ago for OW, who he has now been married to for 30 years, 7 years longer than he was married to my mother) and she once again told me that it was my fault my father had the affair, that I'd made him 'feel old' by getting married myself - I was 21 and he was 42 when it happened.

I said 'well he'd cheated before so it would have happened again eventually anyway'...I got back 'no it wouldn't have, I know it wouldn't have'... my father started cheating on her when I was 4. But no, better to blame her only daughter rather than accept any responsibility for being so stupid to stay with a serial cheater...

Labracadabradoodle · 20/10/2021 00:20

I was 12 and my dad had died that day, in our house.
'Stop crying, he wasnt your dad, anyway'.
From my mum.

FangsForTheMemory · 20/10/2021 01:00

‘Why are you 27 and still single?’

(Could be that I don’t want to lumber myself with a prize like you. Daddy dear).

Countless snide comments about my weight. He was morbidly obese himself.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 20/10/2021 12:15

Stepfather: You're an unwanted bastard, a second class relation, nobody wants you here, when I was 14 years old. Mother didn't say anything.

Now they wonder why, many years later, I only see them once a year or less, it's been two years now and I don't plan on visiting anytime soon.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 20/10/2021 12:16

@Labracadabradoodle

I was 12 and my dad had died that day, in our house. 'Stop crying, he wasnt your dad, anyway'. From my mum.
OMG what a horrible thing to day hugs Flowers
NoMoreFizzySweets · 20/10/2021 12:36

Not all at the same time, but as a child I was called selfish, spoiled, awkward, and difficult. Apologies weren't accepted (too late for sorry now).