The normalisation of OnlyFans and porn

[mistea]

I graduated from uni about 5 years ago, and still keep in touch with my course mates via a WhatsApp group chat. Recently, one of them was asking if anyone knew of any openings in our field, someone suggested that she open an OnlyFans account, and basically everyone else (it was a very male-dominated course) chimed in about how that was a great idea and that they had friends who did that and made 5+ figures a month.

Fair play but I personally know of a friend who went down that route, made a decent amount in the first few months, only to be pushed to show her face and do more and more extreme acts to retain her subscribers who all ended up leaving anyway. She has now quit but her videos are stuck on free porn sites and reposted on forums from time to time. Her case isn't a rare one.

Is it just the people I surround myself with? Or is this really how the world is today? After my last relationship broke down because of a violent porn 'addiction' on my exDP's part I feel just feel like it's all hopeless now.

@namitynamechange

And I used to live in a "tolerance zone" in Liverpool. What this meant was that the police would not harrass the women working there or their clients, and the theory was this would make it safer because women would be able to call the police if they were in trouble. In reality, I heard a woman screaming for help one night. I couldnt see what was happening so I phoned the police, they thought i wanted to make a noise complaint. When we established i was actually concerned about the welfare of the woman screaming the operator said they would send someone - it tok over an hour for a police car to arrive. SO I dont think the reality of legalisation lives up to the hopes.

See also the 'managed' zone in Leeds, where approaches for sex are made to school children walking to school, and which a local headteacher has described as gravely concerning. This type of approach might be fine for men, but it is not fine for women and girls.

Pupils approached for sex in Holbeck's managed red light zone www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-54819248

I think it runs a bit like a pyramid scheme/mla - if you persuade a friend to join you get a cut of their coin. More money to be made doing extreme acts, so coercing "friends" to do just that. So now encouraging your mates into porn is incentivised.

I thought this wasn't a 'thing' but wow it's true. One of the guys in the chat offered to introduce her to a 'mentor', and there are messages saying 'some men have weird kinks just got to find a niche' and 'not trying to be creepy but I would definitely subscribe to you you don't have to worry'. Another woman has already left the group and someone said 'she's just jealous she's not hot enough'.

Not sure what the point of this thread is now - I feel like I've gone completely off tangent. I feel so uncomfortable and I don't know if that makes me old-fashioned or stuck up or whatnot. Don't want to leave the group either (I haven't typed anything in there in about 6+ months) as two of the participants are colleagues of mine and WhatsApp makes a big deal of people leaving groups and I'd rather not have any conversations about this ever.

Countingthebeat I agree, but I live in hope and if it helps one other woman clarify her feelings, that'll do for me

I'd leave the group too OP! Christ, MLM homemade porn, we've reached peak capitalist misogyny!

So basically, a woman with a professional qualification asked a group of men she considered to be her professional equals/colleagues if they had any advice/contacts to help her get a nw job. Their response was "we will pay you to strip/perform sex acts for us". Sometimes I hate men! (and before anyone says NAMALT did ANY man in the group push back against these suggestions? Did any of them even see anything wrong with it?)

What's the difference between sex work, porn and Only Fans? Genuine question.

I'd go passive aggressive - "Anyone got any ACTUAL job hunting tips?" etc

@KarensChoppyBob
Sex work is the broadest description - it covers everything from prostition, to online porn to lap dancing, to someone selling old shoes to foot fetishers via ebay.
Porn Im sure you know - it is images of sex/nudity/sexual acts for the purposes of sexual gratification
Only Fans work includes people taking pictures/videos (so porn basically) but also interacting with the "fans" and taking requests. Therefore it is probably similar to being a cam girl. I think the interaction makes it not just porn, although of course porn is a big part of it.

Someone working in the sex industry could be a sex worker (see first definition) but could also be, for example, a "receptionist" in a brothel, or even a pimp/a pornographer/the owners of OnlyFans or Pornhub (who incidentally are male and who DO make a lot of money out of it). So, at least someone is benefitting

Thanks for the clarification namitynamechange.

Interesting though that women don’t tend to go actively seeking all this seedy only fans stuff- as someone else mentioned that for men , their main outlet is the gay market.

I honestly think that the majority of women are in normal times too busy stuffing lunch boxes, finding PE kit, interacting with friends , food shopping to waste time and cash on such seedy activities. I never used to think of men as such sad sleazy buggers but am coming to the conclusion that a lot have become this way in the last 15 years.

Don't forget the 'influencers' who are always in Dubai. They are approached by very, very rich men from that part of the world and offered all expenses paid holidays and large sums of money for sex and fetish sessions.

Maybe that is why their excuse for being there during Covid is that they are out there 'working' and therefore it is true!
I expect OnlyFans girls get the same offers. It can end up being no different to having your pics on AdultWork for men to browse and buy - just under another name.

As someone above says, it would be funny if it wasn't so tragic.

@EarthSight

I'd ask them, if you had a daughter, would you recommend her to do that??

Fucking grim. I find the casualness of this suggestion so disturbing.

Absolutely agree with you.

Whenever I hear 'influencers' and Dubai, all I can see now, reluctantly, is Porta Potties.

I feel so uncomfortable and I don't know if that makes me old-fashioned or stuck up or whatnot.

It's completely natural to feel uncomfortable when men act like creepy pimps and want to groom women to sell fetish videos of themselves.

Do not feel bad because you have a healthy negative reaction to that.

I think you'd be quite a home on the Women's Rights forum OP.

not trying to be creepy but I would definitely subscribe to you you don't have to worry'. Another woman has already left the group and someone said 'she's just jealous she's not hot enough

Lol. Awww bless him. He's going to give her a sympathy follow!? How nice & generous of him!! He would definitely subscribe would he?? No not creepy at all!!

They shamed a woman for objecting to thigh rubbing, breathless, slimey behaviour. It reminds me of my ex work colleagues. They talked about women in a degrading way, thought rape, domestic violence and the most depraved 'jokes' were women were subjected to torture were funny and edgey, and they would do this even more to make me uncomfortable, and put me, the most outspoken one, in my place. They were like hyenas. Most of the women didn't like their behaviour, but they wanted to look 'chill' and kept their heads down, lest they inspire the sort of nastiness I was getting.

I would leave that group. It's not good for you and if more women leave, they might actually think twice about this behaviour.

@Hangingover

I'd leave the group too OP! Christ, MLM homemade porn, we've reached peak capitalist misogyny!

@Hangingover At one time if you said something like that, most people would have gone 'Fuck. Are you ok? Do you really want to be doing that???'. It would have been met with seriousness and concern because even if you feel neutral or positive about 'sex work', it's not like getting a temp job as a receptionist for a month, is it???

Now it's like 'Oh sure!! Why not?! I'll help you!!'

If anyone says this to me in future (unlikely), I think I might 'Oh thanks for the suggestion. Have you ever considered doing gay porn, or maybe gay cam work? There's a lot of money in that'.

My dd says they're all on it at school and making a fortune.
Very popular with Y11- 13.
It's normal apparentely, and kids throughout the country are doing it.
She said, they tell parents they are having a bath, or just use their bedrooms.
How would we find out if they are?

I'd ask them, if you had a daughter, would you recommend her to do that??

It is the daughters doing it, the mums are too busy/ intelligent enough not to get involved.

@Devlesko

My dd says they're all on it at school and making a fortune. Very popular with Y11- 13. It's normal apparentely, and kids throughout the country are doing it. She said, they tell parents they are having a bath, or just use their bedrooms. How would we find out if they are?

Fucking hell! That's the worst thing I've read for some time.

I can totally imagine how tempting this must be for young girls, it's so depressing.

My DD is only 7 but I am dreading this sort of shite being pushed her way when she is older.

I guess the question for any girl thinking about it is 'do you want uncontrolled images of your boobs or minge available online for anyone to do whatever they want with..... forever'?

Please be aware of the young people, I mentioned this thread to my dd, and I've reported several girls to 3 different schools today.
I don't know their parents and it's a safeguarding issue.
One girl has saved 17k for college.
Mine says she isn't doing it, but has close friends who are.
OP, I had no idea this existed, thank you so much for bringing it to my attention.
Please watch your teens because for each girl involved there are boys and men paying for their pleasure.
Thanks again OP

The money factor is the dangerous one IMO. It's a bit like Hollywood or football in a sense - there are some that make huge amounts from this but for everyone that makes it there are many that don't. In the case of my friend, she ended up lying about how little she made towards the end and even tried boosting her numbers through flash sales and free previews. I understand why she did it but in a way it makes it seem like even more people are making money off it than they really are.

That being said, the idea that doing something like this is normal and even to a small degree 'expected' if you ever find yourself in a rut just makes me feel so hopeless.

I am so disturbed about teens having Only Fans accounts.

I certainly think if under 18s are involved then if you have any knowledge of it it needs reporting and I think the moral of the tail is to be aware what your teens are up to if it’s possible—