The normalisation of OnlyFans and porn

[mistea]

I graduated from uni about 5 years ago, and still keep in touch with my course mates via a WhatsApp group chat. Recently, one of them was asking if anyone knew of any openings in our field, someone suggested that she open an OnlyFans account, and basically everyone else (it was a very male-dominated course) chimed in about how that was a great idea and that they had friends who did that and made 5+ figures a month.

Fair play but I personally know of a friend who went down that route, made a decent amount in the first few months, only to be pushed to show her face and do more and more extreme acts to retain her subscribers who all ended up leaving anyway. She has now quit but her videos are stuck on free porn sites and reposted on forums from time to time. Her case isn't a rare one.

Is it just the people I surround myself with? Or is this really how the world is today? After my last relationship broke down because of a violent porn 'addiction' on my exDP's part I feel just feel like it's all hopeless now.

Yes the normalisation of only fans aka porn on demand is foul.

Even if you are not performing a sex act - well what do you think the person paying to watch you is doing?!

Utterly disgusting and the opposite of empowerment, but not allowed to say that or you'll be cancelled.

"someone suggested that she open an OnlyFans account, and basically everyone else (it was a very male-dominated course) chimed in about how that was a great idea and that they had friends who did that and made 5+ figures a month."

Was that a male or female who made that suggestion ? Sorry. a bit late to this thread.

@yetmorecrap

I certainly think if under 18s are involved then if you have any knowledge of it it needs reporting and I think the moral of the tail is to be aware what your teens are up to if it’s possible—

Most definitely. I had no idea until speaking to dd how common this is with teens. The boys are paying for it too, not just older men. Of course their parents must be rich but dd said that one of her friends has several young toffs subscribing. Private as well as state schools seem to be rife, I was shocked when dd told me how normal it was. Apparentely the sensible girls are trying to talk their friends out of it, but college/uni fees and living costs play a part in the reason they become involved. Some wc young people still have parents who think debt of this kind is scary and it rubs off on their dc. Younger parents and those richer can see it's like a tax. Not explaining myself very well, arghhh!

Thanks again OP, I've learnt so much from your thread.

So many comments here are going way over the top. I've sold photos, tights, shoes in the past (never showed my face) but teasing photos etc and it was simply a way of making some extra money when I needed it. I wasn't being forced into it by evil forces or prostituting myself, I never met any of these men or did anything I wasn't comfortable doing. At a time when so many people are losing their jobs who is anyone to tell me or anyone that they can't sell photos or videos to make some money?
Can we not say that for some women sites like these are a good thing? Especially if it's easy money and not hurting anyone? I didn't rely on it solely but it definitely helped and was relatively easy money for me and part of me actually enjoyed it in do much as these men were paying for photos of my frankly average body, I'm no model put it that way! And if I really needed the money would I do it again? Yes without a doubt.

Oh do fuck off with your blatant attempt to normalise the abuse of children. No.

If there's underage kids on there no one is saying that's a good thing. But am I not allowed to as a grown ass woman? Who can make my own mind up thank you very much!

Just so there's no misunderstanding I'm not saying it's ok for school kids to be on there, at all! I wasn't aware this was even a thing until this thread. When I was selling and had a group of online friends who were also selling we were in the age range of 26-48 and id like to think mature enough to make decision. End of lecture!

@Soccermom1 I think the fact that it wasn’t your first choice of how to make an income, and was only done when you needed extra money, says a lot.

I’m sure it did you no harm, but for some it’s a slippery slope. And it’s all part of women packaging themselves for the male gaze and for the sexual gratification of men. That’s the key issue.

Soccormom1

You did absolutely nothing wrong, and I know you wouldn't encourage underage girls to be involved.
I had no idea until I mentioned this thread to my dd 17, just for a chat.
It's widely accepted with teens.

Just asked DD what age year 11 is.

15-16

At 15- 16 the next step is a level in England and Wales, and that's free.

Additionally. It's illegal in the UK(?) but certainly England and Wales to work in prostitution or porn before the age of 18.

What is being glibly talked about ('One girl has saved 17k for college!!!) is CHILD SEXUAL EXPLOITATION.

And the grown ass women stuff.
And the don't be a prude stuff.

As a reminder.

This is about a woman who did a degree in maths and computer science. Going onto a chat with her predominately male old course mates. Asking if anyone knew of any opportunities in their field.

And then men saying why not do only fans.

How is that ok? Why is that ok? Are the posters going on about choice genuinely saying that was an ok response?

They would never say that to a man. Even though there is a market in gay porn etc. They would think hmmm X is a good guy, I'll ask around.

That is what you call a boys club. A closed shop.

So a woman asks for leads on jobs and they say get on only fans you'll make a mint! Go for it!

And we have MULTIPLE WOMEN on here saying I don't have a problem with that. Why not?

Because she's a fucking mathematician and computer scientist and was looking for jobs in that field!

For those who are like yeah you're all prudes etc. You really think that's ok?

I work in IT. I did a hard science degree. It is very very male dominated and you have to fight. Still. I'm 47 now and things haven't really changed.

As a professional women if I say to the men at work. I fancy a change. Anyone know of any jobs going? And they say. Have you thought about earning money by taking your clothes off and performing sex acts for men who like older women, for money?

That's OK?

I mean. That's really really not ok. In any way shape or form.

And to the women who think it is. If I heard that or saw that I would tell them to shut the fuck up and what are you even thinking. Because I'm older and I'm outspoken.

HOW can women progress in these areas when the men see them primarily as sex objects and we have WOMEN fucking women. Saying. I can't see anything wrong with that suggestion. And if you do. You're a nasty outdated bigoted prude (paraphrasing).

This thread is fucking unbelievable.

At a time when so many people are losing their jobs who is anyone to tell me or anyone that they can't sell photos or videos to make some money?

I completely see where you're coming from and if you enjoy it and benefit from it, that's great! What I have problems with is how these jobs are increasingly (at least amongst the people my age that I know of) seen as something women are 'lucky' they can turn to if they want money and that it's the 'easy way out' (not my words).

The current climate is shifting too. Faceless nudes, teases, etc can easily be found on reddit or countless other sites and forums across the web for free. What gets subscribers (at least at first) is when someone they know typically via Instagram or Tik Tok shows a faced nude. And when that isn't enough, they start asking for more or you'll usually end up losing their subscription.

Certainly doesn't help when the phrase 'thot to pump and dump' is increasingly being used to describe women whom have been 'exposed' as being on only fans by the very men that are subscribed to them.

Sorry if that post came off harsher than it sounded. Reading the updates on the group chat of how she's 'really doing herself a disservice' is turning me from sad to being pretty pissed off.

So the men who studied maths and computer science with her.

Are telling her she's 'doing herself a disservice' if she doesn't do only fans?

When she asked about jobs in maths and computer science?

Fucking hell.

They are fucking awful.

Ok can you pm her and have a chat about what wankers they all are.

I know some women in stem sites etc also companies. Where are you based.

You need to have her back here.

I think you both need to tell them to go fuck themselves and start another group.

I studied in the 90s at a hardcore science uni in England. The blokes were all nice. I am still in touch with some. They wouldn't dream in a million years. Now or then. Of saying that. It wouldn't cross their minds.

DM her. Tell them they're wankers. And ditch them. Jesus.

I am gobsmacked at the posts on here.

15 yo girls are doing this everywhere all the time. It's normal! I know one who earnt 17k. What's wrong with men you studied maths and computer science with suggesting only fans when you ask if anyone knows of opportunities? Don't be a prude.

No. Just. Nonononono.

I'd be interested in anyone who said what's the problem really laying out why this is all aok.

Any man who is fine with it should be happy to bend over have a picture of him spreading his bum cheeks with him turning around showing his smiling face and have it out there FORVER for the world to see , mum dad , employers future partners EVRRYONE
Let’s see how many would be cool with it then
I say that particular pose because it’s likely the only one that men would be shamed by other the way women are shamed by society for less extreme sexual poses . It might make SOME men get it ... who knows

@Soccermom1

So many comments here are going way over the top. I've sold photos, tights, shoes in the past (never showed my face) but teasing photos etc and it was simply a way of making some extra money when I needed it. I wasn't being forced into it by evil forces or prostituting myself, I never met any of these men or did anything I wasn't comfortable doing. At a time when so many people are losing their jobs who is anyone to tell me or anyone that they can't sell photos or videos to make some money? Can we not say that for some women sites like these are a good thing? Especially if it's easy money and not hurting anyone? I didn't rely on it solely but it definitely helped and was relatively easy money for me and part of me actually enjoyed it in do much as these men were paying for photos of my frankly average body, I'm no model put it that way! And if I really needed the money would I do it again? Yes without a doubt.

Hi Soccormom, I don’t think anyone here is denying that ‘some ‘ women feel the way you do however for every one who has the positive experience you speak of many many others feel differently . The women I know , several who are close friends feel the exact opposite . The fact that some women may feel the experience was positive for them personally does not make the industry or concept of only fans good . It’s predominately a platform for where women’s body’s are a commodity. The fact some women benefit from the money that comes from this temporarily does not mean it’s good for females as a whole or for equality For example , you mention you were mostly in your 20s . Do you think if you give it another go in your 80s your sales will be as strong . Why ? If it’s just a way women can make money . Because it’s DEPENDANT On you being marketable product of male sexual demands Women as a whole do not bra fit through being seen as commodities . Whilst men increasingly see women as things to be purchased their expectations and treatment of us continues to decline . We are this almost daily here on this site It’s great that you had the wherewithal not to meet any of the men or to show your face That you were in a position where you were not caught up with any ‘evil forces ‘ unfortunately this is NOT the experience of many others who find themselves involved in darker things or even simply make mistakes and show their faces or meet some seedy client . Some do this at 25 some sadly only 15 It is of course your choice what role you do or do not play in the whole thing . I just want to point t out that your experience does not indicate that it’s a positive thing

Sorry - I don t know how the bra fit got there but that line was that women as a whole do not benefit from being seen as commodities

@NiceGerbil Uni was in London but now a fair few of us are based across the world. I think a bit of it is a courage-in-numbers thing. Almost 4 women out of almost 30 in the group chat. The only fans 'memes' and 'thot' jokes started around the start of lockdown amidst regular industry discussion and only devolved into this being a serious 'women have it so easy they can do only fans' position after that job question was asked.

And yes, we've both left the chat it's ridiculous how far the conversation is devolving now that some ex-course mates have had a bit to drink.

@Soccermom1

If there's underage kids on there no one is saying that's a good thing. But am I not allowed to as a grown ass woman? Who can make my own mind up thank you very much!

You can do as you want, obviously. But you're contributing to the problem of women being viewed as a commodity that can be bought. It might not bother you personally, on an individual level you might find it beneficial. But that doesn't make it a good thing for society as a whole. But if you don't mind sticking two fingers up to women who are exploited and harmed by this, that's up to you.

Clearly it’s not just me then that would rather do 4 shifts at Starbucks than degrade myself in this way if I needed the cash. It’s not empowering, it’s one step off being a booker.

Or even a ‘hooker’

My Master's dissertation was on the subject of porn and the damage it does to women/men/society. Everyone I spoke to about it thought I was mad, pride, angry about nothing. I was angry, I was enraged to be honest. The interviews I conducted shocked me to the core. I attended conferences, spoke on it publicly, wore myself down with it because it felt like speaking into the void.

In the end, I took on a PhD in Literature because I just couldn't cope with the "what nonsense" comments I was getting from everyone around me. How "liberating" porn and sex work was.

Here we are not even a decade later and everything I predicted would happen, has. It's getting worse too. Usually I don't even click on threads like this because I still get angry. I genuinely worry for the world my children will grow up in.

Ok firstly no it's not ok for these men in her group to suggest this in regards to her career.. in that situation it's not ok even in a jokey way. It's also not ok for girls who are in school to be selling photos either.
What I do have a problem with it putting everyone into the same category regarding these sites. For me it was a choice of supplementing my income and I had very strict rules as to not show my face and do what I felt comfortable doing. If someone asked for something i wasn't comfortable with them I'd say no, and I had a few regulars who knew what they wanted and what was acceptable and I was fine with that. And yes shock horror I actually enjoyed doing it most of the time, not just that it was easy money but the fact that they would pay for photos etc from some one who wasn't a model or in any way thin. I liked that feeling, the confidence it gave me.
I'm not sticking two fingers up at women by doing that and to say that is absurd. We all find empowerment in different ways and that's fine. I made some good friends doing it too and we had our own little group where we had a laugh and supported each other, some were single mum's, two were roughly my age so a bit older, and from our conservations it wasn't just about the money either, we controlled what we showed and what we didn't, and if we had a man who didn't respect that we'd just ignore them. I understand not everyone is in the same situation and I'm not condoning that either, I'm just talking about my own experience and the experience of our online group. After a full day's work I didn't mind logging on and making a few quid in the evening, it helped a lot, financially at the time and in regards to giving me confidence about my body. And I repeat that's my personal experience, and was a choice I made.

actually enjoyed doing it most of the time, not just that it was easy money but the fact that they would pay for photos etc from some one who wasn't a model or in any way thin. I liked that feeling, the confidence it gave me.
I'm not sticking two fingers up at women by doing that and to say that is absurd. We all find empowerment in different ways and that's fine.

So you advocate this as a healthy way for women to gain confidence ? Through being sexual objects for men ?
Do you not think it’s healthier for womenand girls to gain confidence in other ways other than via men’s decisions about whether our bodies meet their sexual approval. I think the whole point many of us are trying to make is that true empowerment doesn’t come from men using our bodies or selling any part of our bodies to men for their sexual pleasure
Many of us are fighting for women’s power to be seen in their voices their thoughts their feelings and their valuable contributions to.society . Its really hard
It’s great that you personally feel empowered , but it’s damaging to women as a whole and you ARE giving the finger whether you realise it or not