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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Thousands of messages between them

238 replies

Shockedupsetscared · 28/01/2021 16:30

It's such a fucking cliche. I found out yesterday my DH has been messaging a woman. He doesn't know I know, I saw his phone while he was using his indoor bike. Some app I'd never even heard of, I looked at it because I was curious. I don't know how long it's been going on, I couldn't even scroll back far enough to the beginning but it's months. There are literally thousands of messages between them. Lots of them explicit, photos and videos, but lots of them not. In a weird way it's the ones that aren't that are worse, is that stupid? They're messaging every single day, there are dozens of messages between them while he's at work. He's told her about stuff going on at his office that he hasn't told me yet, mundane stuff. Stuff about the kids, we have two teenage DC. I work a couple of evenings a week and he tells her when I'm due to work so they can plan their "playtime" together when they swap photos and videos. From what I can see they're planning to meet when Covid allows. He's told her he loves her but they talk about not breaking up their marriages. I've pretended I have a migraine since yesterday because I can't face him but I don't know what to say or do. What the fuck do I do?

OP posts:
gaijinetal · 29/01/2021 11:32

He and this woman have treated op with disdain. She's treated he'd partner similarly.

While they're good enough to stay with and share bills and childcare with.

ravenmum · 29/01/2021 11:33

I have the emotional intelligence to know that bombarding someone with information about what they did wrong is not the most persuasive approach.

I think @ElspethFlashman has put it well. Even the dh wouldn't enjoy sex with his dw if she's forcing herself do it, e.g. to save the marriage.

Shockedupsetscared · 29/01/2021 11:50

It's not that I don't enjoy it well enough when it happens, yes I'm sometimes self-conscious and it means I don't want to experiment with different positions or anything like that because all I can think about is how awful my belly or thighs will look, but I've always thought he understood and was okay with it. I get into it wnough that I don't think he'd get the impression I'm hating it, because I'm not. I don't feel relief it's over or that I've done my duty or anything like that, it's always nice but then afterwards it's just a case of getting on with the next thing in life, if that makes sense? It's just not something I hugely miss when it's not happening. It doesn't necessarily occur to me that it's been 3 or 4 or 5 or whatever months since we last had sex. But obviously it's clear now it has been a problem for him.

OP posts:
blowyouttoday · 29/01/2021 11:52

He's absolutely in the wrong to be doing what he's doing.
In relation to your own body confidence and weight, what steps have you taken to address this?

Shockedupsetscared · 29/01/2021 11:54

It's not that we never touch or have any affection otherwise, I often watch TV lying with my head in his lap and his arm around me. Although if he's not interested in the programme he'll be on his phone at the same time, and now I know he'll have been messaging her Sad

OP posts:
Nonamesavail · 29/01/2021 11:58

I don't think this betrayl is worth the happy moments. It will always niggle you:(

gaijinetal · 29/01/2021 12:00

There's a theme in this thread that because you're sex life is not regular, a d he's tried the ol clichéd candles and massage thing once or twice ; that's it's understandable or justified that he's cheating.

It's not.

He didn't have to cheat.

We don't force people to stay in relationships or marriages here - he could separate.

He could talk to op seriously before he took the step of separating.

He's chosen betrayal instead.

ElspethFlashman · 29/01/2021 12:00

And I do not know if this is survivable.

Because even if you are close in terms of friendship, he has 100% betrayed his vows. And it has revealed that there are two people who have different needs in marriage. And that will never change.

gaijinetal · 29/01/2021 12:00

(your)

gaijinetal · 29/01/2021 12:03

Personally, aside from the sharing of mundane but intimate (not sexually intimate obviously).stuff about your family life .. the waiting til I go out to get on to each other for chats/sexting/pics exchange etc. and discussing it, like I'm done fool/inconvenience/ball and chain .. would make me want to batter him repeatedly around the head.

Shockedupsetscared · 29/01/2021 12:04

blowyouttoday I joined a gym last year, but then it closed because of lockdown. I start diets but I struggle to stick to them. I've always been a but overweight but after the kids I did pile the weight on and struggled to lose it. I have a sweet tooth which doesn't help. One of the reasons we got the dogs was to give me encouragement to get out more, but we've fallen into a routine where DH usually walks them. I do sometimes go out for walks with him/them but then I get annoyed at myself that I can't walk as fast or as far as he can. He never says anything, if anything he encourages me to go out with him when he's walking them more often, but I know how far he walks with them when it's just him (he's very fit) and I feel like I just hold him back, or by the time we turn for home I'm puffing along like a tomato.

OP posts:
ravenmum · 29/01/2021 12:04

I don't see how the imbalance can be improved either tbh. I mean, there's some talk on MN about "maintenance sex" - having sex even when you are not especially in the mood, because you know your partner would like it, and you will get into it. But it's kind of too late for that, perhaps? I suspect that maintenance sex only works when the other partner isn't aware that's what you're doing ...

Plus, obviously, the major issue that you have been hurt by his behaviour.

pleasegodno · 29/01/2021 12:04

I never used to, but now I think the people who say sex is a habit that you can fall out of or build up are right.

In a way the ball's in your court as to what happens next OP. You're probably in the deciding seat here. My guess is if you want to save the marriage, with regular sex, he would want that too. It depends on whether you want to.

gaijinetal · 29/01/2021 12:07

Also I think if he's given the opportunity to actually leave the marriage, the woman who'll share pics of her tits etc. while attached (with kids?) with a married bloke online; isn't going to look like such an attractive prospect for a relationship.

ravenmum · 29/01/2021 12:08

It doesn't sound like your weight is the real issue, though, OP - more your confidence about your appearance? Is that the only way in which you lack confidence, or is it part of an overall picture?

Ohthatoldchestnut · 29/01/2021 12:09

It sounds like he loves you and your life but its more like a deep friendship - and he's missing the affection/passion that a lot of people need and you've checked out of. He 100% should have raised these issues directly with you - cheating is the coward's path - but I can also appreciate that may not be the easiest when you're struggling with your self image. And people go for the "easy" option to fulfil their needs unfortunately. It's a cliche because it happens a lot - and its not because all men are evil.

If no one has already mentioned it - check out Esther Perel. Lots of wisdom on the subject. This situation may be a wake up call to you both in a situation that sounds like you've both been sleepwalking towards a cliff.

Shockedupsetscared · 29/01/2021 12:20

ravenmum ironically when we met I'd have said I was the more confident. He's older than me but he was quite shy and diffident and didn't have much experience with women, not that I was any differet when it came to men. And I don't mean to suggest he's sapped my confidence, he really hasn't. That's what I mean when I say he's a good man. I've always felt he's had my back. He encouraged me to go back to work when our youngest DC started school, he's tried to be supportive whenever I've started a new diet. That's why I feel so completely blindsided, I thought we were a strong team/

OP posts:
Shockedupsetscared · 29/01/2021 12:23

I'll look at Esther Perel.

I don't know how I'm going to get throug the weekend. I don't know what to say or what to think. Every time he reaches for his phone I feel sick. But once I confront him with iut there's no going back and I don't know what I want. I don't want him to go but I can't look at him right now. Nothing makes sense.

OP posts:
MizMoonshine · 29/01/2021 12:31

OP it is not your fault that your DH has betrayed you this way.
And it's important that when you confront this, whenever and in whatever way you choose, that you keep that in mind and you don't let him think otherwise.
You've done nothing wrong here.

However, you have reflected on and realised that there are areas in your relationship that have been lacking. They have not allowed your husband to behave the way he has, but he seems to be filling the gaps in your relationship.

From what you've said of him, other than this massive thing, he's a gentle and supportive husband. Beyond being a cheat, his worst crime is not communicating with you properly, or you with him.

You've assumed he's okay because he hasn't pestered you, whereas this probably could have been avoided with open and honest conversation.

Be careful now, OP. Often when something like this happens it will lead to hysterical bonding. This is a stage, after betrayal, where you will, for lack of a better phrase, fuck like bunnies. You'll throw yourself into the physical side of the relationship in order to prove that it's still viable. You'll feel a closeness that you haven't for a time, but it's just a plaster. It doesn't allow you to deal with the root cause of your issues.

OP, my advice is to approach him about this. In every other aspect of your relationship he seems like a good man. He appears to have been gently encouraging you, where he should have been outwardly talking to you. He's thrown in the towel and taken his attention elsewhere, but I daresay that's not what he wants.

Find some time just for the two of you. Tell him you know everything. Be completely honest and tell him you need complete honesty in return. If he lies, cut him off right away. Have none of it.

If you want to make it work with him, set yourself up for couples counseling ASAP. Tell him he has to cut her out of his life entirely and that you need him to be open with his devices until you feel satisfied that he's no longer betraying you. Offer him the same in return.

I give you this advice because it is what worked for me.

I am now at a point with DP where I don't want to look at his phone. If he stays late at work, I believe him. It's taken a lot of effort to rebuild the trust in our relationship, but it's possible.

If there's something worth saving, which it looks like there is for you, then you need to start working. Don't sit on this information and let it eat you up.

Good luck, OP.

You can always inbox me if you feel you need some gentle support.

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 29/01/2021 12:32

I had evidence like tracker info, overnight stats, messages etc but no actual evidence that could be used to say in divorce that he was cheating- basically you have to catch them in the act!

Just sort out what you want, see lawyer, get papers together, keep yours and your kids passports safe as well as your marriage certificate and tell him you’ve seen the messages and there’s no point denying it.

Don’t take excuses - begging, crying, turning it around on you etc
Stand your ground and tell him what you’re going to do - don’t ask and don’t waiver

I filed under irreconcilable differences and under there I named an affair as one of them

I would say good luck but that means it’s out of your hands- you have the control- just find that spark of confidence too

GabsAlot · 29/01/2021 12:34

got to love the victim blaming here

he isnt having sex so its ok that he has an emotinal affair and tells someone else he loves them?

wtf poor little man

ElspethFlashman · 29/01/2021 12:34

But two things can be true. You may be a good team. He may love you very much. You may be good friends.

davidsSchitt · 29/01/2021 12:37

Oh come on, none of this is OPs doing. A few months living day to day life between sex doesn't mean he gets to go off sharing intimate details and photos and sneaking around planning to put his wife's health at risk by having sex with some random.

He's a creep and a coward and a selfish bastard to boot.

OP don't be distracted by these questioning your confidence etc. You've been completely lied to and betrayed.

Take photographs of the explicit messages so you can't be convinced it "wasn't that bad", "wasn't serious", "meant nothing" etc.

Then do as a pp suggested. Block her number on his phone, delete her number and delete the thread so he can't just click reply.

LazyName · 29/01/2021 12:38

Sad sorry you are going through this! I feel sick for you, I have no actual advice but I hope you can be happy again one day whatever happens x

ElspethFlashman · 29/01/2021 12:38

And yes, be wary of hysterical bonding. It's just a smokescreen and after a few months it tends to peter out.