Fed up of DP calling me posh

[GreyFluffyTowel]

My DH and I were both brought up in the same town, although different areas. I was in the 'nicer' part, DP in what is considered the 'rougher' part. My parents were fairly comfortable, his not so much. None of those things even factored in us getting together. We've been together 3 years, lived together for just over 1. Over the past few months it's become increasing common for my DP to say 'I wish you weren't so posh' or 'you can tell you're privileged'. He claims he's joking but I don't find it funny. Apparently I'm sensitive. An example (it sounds ridiculous) - I was eating some toast with DP sitting next to me. He kept farting. I repeatedly asked him not too whilst I finished my toast, he told me I was posh. I'm posh for not wanting to brush my teeth whilst sitting on the loo. I'll say something and he'll say 'you sounded really posh then'. He comments about 'posh' people on the TV in a negative way. It's got to the point where I have said to him if I am too 'posh' then please go and find someone else who you feel is a better match for you and he then goes on the defensive and gets a bit moody.
Is he right, am I too sensitive?

It doesnt sound to me like he wants to leave you.
But this is an issue that runs deep for both of you in the relationship, and I think you both need to have a big talk about it.

I'm reading this ashamed as this was me and an ex. OP leave now as I eventually did, it really doesn't get any better and you only end up spending time and money on therapy to repair your self esteem. The kids will notice even if they do not say anything. You'll only notice when they begin to talk to you with the same disrespect.

He doesn't like you.
Also he's a twat with a chip on his shoulder and I would bin him for that alone.

This ill-mannered churl enjoys treating you with contempt. Don’t allow him to put you on the back foot with his negging. He likes to taunt you, claim it’s humor (it’s not), and then shift blame with his ‘You’re so sensitive.’

OP, what exactly attracts you to this manipulative man who wants to diminish you? I wouldn’t expose my children to someone so disrespectful.

Not liking people to fart whilst you're eating isn't anything to do with how posh you are, it's just down right rude.

It does sound like he's negging you, insulting you in a way that isn't a traditional insult, but designed to put you on the back foot and make you feel like crap.

Next time he says it, just agree with him.
'Yes you're right, I am posh, you knew that when you started seeing me, so stop farting'

Or a simple 'fuck off' should do it

@Taikoo

He doesn't like you. Also he's a twat with a chip on his shoulder and I would bin him for that alone.

^^ This

Ltb

He sounds like my teenage son who still finds it funny to fart in front of people. Usually boys grow out of it when they become adults because it’s just gross. Nothing to do with being posh or not.

He doesn’t have any respect for you
Ltb

Urgh. Ditch the slob.

Why are you with him! It’s sounds like he doesn’t like you much. Ditch the idiot.

You are over sensitive. He had a huge chip on his shoulder.

I was like you, parents comfortable. Dh's huge family were very poor. But this isn't an issue to us.

Don’t waste anymore time on him. What do you think his end game is? He is rude and disrespectful and wants to run you down through his own small minded insecurities. Find someone on your own wavelength or enjoy peace and quiet being single.

Doesn’t sound like he likes or respects you very much.
The posh thing is not the main issue for me... If he couldn’t criticise you for being “posh” he’d find something else to criticise you for.

In my experience with my ex who did this, it got worse. In fact he got quite vile and one night in his drunken stupor told me to ‘go f*ck a man who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth instead’.

I had previously told him many times that he upset me calling me ‘posh’ and such like and pointed out I spoke/was this way when he first met me so why was he with me if it was such a problem. Other things were just general manners and courteousness that he labelled as ‘posh behaviour’. Honestly I think I just gave him the stick to beat me with when I said it upset me as he only got worse as he now knew it irritated me. Like your partner, he also made negative comments about ‘posh’ people on TV.

Anyway like I said, he got worse. He just became verbally/emotionally abusive in general so that was the end of that relationship.

OP, I have been there and done that.

I ended up telling him that I wasn’t posh, it was just that he was common. The. I dumped him.

I later dated a lovely man who also called me posh but meant it in a positive way. Still miss that one!

(PS - pretty sure that I am not posh, just normal and middle class)

He's horrible and is trying to belittle you. Dump

Inverted snobbery.

I would never use where he's from as an insult towards him, it wouldn't even enter my brain.

He's also started saying that he hates all police and they're all corrupt (if we see them on TV). My brother is a policeman and he knows this. I'll point this out and he'll say 'well they are all corrupt, you don't know what your brother does when he's working'

Most of the time he's polite to me and there's not any issues - and then I'll do something that is considered 'posh' and I get criticised!

Your boyfriend feels inferior to you, so is attacking you to make himself feel better by comparison.

The more you update - it sound as if he really doesn’t like you

Op it wouldn't be the first time that someone has moved in with a partner and discovered their true colours.
He honestly sounds like he has no common sense and half a brain. 'All police are corrupt' - what is he a 15 yr old on the run from the pigs? Throw in immature too.

Oh, bin him already.
What an appalling example he is for any child, let alone a grown woman.

Oh no, yes your update doesn’t sound great like a pp said. My ex also hated the police (there is a police officer in my family) and would say they were corrupt and had all been bullied at school. He also hated anyone with ginger hair (my ex was ginger/auburn)...See the pattern?

He's a twat.