My DF called me to advise me against getting married

[Fressia123]

As per title, my DF says that money changes everything and since there's no separation of assets in the UK I simply shouldn't get married. (The wedding is in April). Not completely unexpected but still a bit but that he actually said that.

Yeah, your DF is right. You argue that if your parents are avoiding tax then they have to put up with the consequences but I wouldn't marry in your circumstances. Far too messy.

Youd be absolutely mad to marry. Dont do it

Your dad is right, and I would speak to a UK-based (probably England & Wales) lawyer. There is a reason that London is sometimes called the divorce capital of the world - plenty of wealthy people who are seeking assets they wouldn't be entitled to in their 'home' countries try to sue for divorce here.

I agree with your father on not getting married. Your own half their house and business etc, that is placing all your family in a vulnerable position, not just you!

And you can't predict how your fiance will act if you split up. Two of my exes who were financially very generous to exes and family, absolutely fleeced me and my parents had to help me out financially. Simply because I'd been too trusting. Because noone enters a relationship or marriage thinking they're going to be shafted.

Why get married anyway? What difference is marriage going to make to your relationship?

The easiest/simplest way to protect everything is to put everything under my son's name once I get him citizenship. (You can do that over there). It's all just paperwork, but doable once the pandemic is over.

Get proper legal advise

And pre marriage counselling

Do NOT get married. I was with my ex for 16 years, nine of marriage, and ended up having to pay him out even though we have no kids and he does very well for himself. Marriage doesn't add anything to a relationship but takes so much away if things go sour (and you NEVER know if they won't). If for some reason you really want to get married, get a fantastic lawyer to advise whether a prenup may help (although it may not). But, especially as a form or respect towards your family who created those assets, I would not get married. You would be putting all of that at risk, for a piece of paper.

Why would you not protect your own assets? If you don’t get divorced then it won’t matter or be relevant but if you do get divorced it ensures your money is secure?

My lawyer on my home country said no marriage here, no claim at all pretty much

Bad lawyer. Marriages celebrated anywhere in the world that are valid and done properly are recognised anywhere else in the world (with some exceptions). If you're legally married in the UK, for example, you're legally married everywhere.

I’m confused as to why you’ve apparently taken legal advice (which certainly doesn’t align with U.K. law) and are also seeking advice on mumsnet (although not saying where you are proposing to get married, which clearly does impact on the outcome.) Your father seems to be at risk of losing his home if you end up in a tricky divorce. I can understand his concern (although he should have thought of this before passing the asset to you, presumably to avoid tax.)

Neither of those pieces of advice you have quoted are likely to be true in England and Wales, so it sounds like you lawyer is in your home country and not in the U.K. where I’m assuming you now live? (Different rules apply in Scotland which I’m less familiar with.)

If that’s correct you need proper advice from someone who specialises in the law of the country you are living. There is a very real risk that you are jeopardising your assets which is fine if they are truly yours - your look out and all - but it seems this might be a tax minimisation scheme which could leave the people who own the other parts of teh property extremely vulnerable.

Actually the rules have changed around pre-nups so definitely take advice from a solicitor specialising in that area. I can recommend one if you need one.

Listen to him. Your DF.
Seek legal advice.

Please listen.

Can you get a pre nup?

@Fressia123

The easiest/simplest way to protect everything is to put everything under my son's name once I get him citizenship. (You can do that over there). It's all just paperwork, but doable once the pandemic is over.

Put it in your son's name -he owns it. You don't.

Protect yourself against a new partner and from your children selling from under you.

I think your father is right.

How old is your son? Transferring ownership to him also carries consequences (what if you fall out and he decides to sell up? Will it effect him buying his own property because he will have to be aware of capital gains tax etc...)

You are putting your parents in a very vulnerable position by marrying without having proper protection (I know prenups aren't watertight but it's a start)

So your parents transferred their business and house into yours and your sisters names to avoid paying tax? I can see why you marrying leaves them in a precarious position. If it’s the case it’s maybe not totally altruistic on your Dad’s part, he has a vested interest in you not getting married. I’d get some impartial legal advice about what to do financially, if marriage is what you want though I wouldn’t not do it just because of the finances

Do you have a history of failed marriages?

It's really easy to postpone marriages at the moment with covid. Do it and speak to an INTERNATIONAL divorce lawyer. The advice you'll get from them won't be cheap, but you'll know exactly where you stand.

Local lawyers and solicitors do not know how international laws impact marriages and divorces and the finances. And if they don't know enough to tell you to seek more specialist advice, it's a massive signal that you need to.

He has a point. My marriage absolutely screwed me financially. My xh had a personality transplant after we married. Knowing what I know now I'd never make my assets so vulnerable again.

The easiest way is to not marry

The next easiest is to legally protect your assets

What country OP? I know someone that owned property in India but when she divorced here it was part of the financial settlement, in order to keep her house here she to sign the other property over.

Or give them to a son who may come of age estranged and with a gambling addiction or leave them vulnerable to a partner obsessed with a new woman. These things happen in ordinary lives.

They don’t happen to people who protect themselves. I am not divorced or bitter but I am a bit old so like PPs have seen this so many times