My DF called me to advise me against getting married

[Fressia123]

As per title, my DF says that money changes everything and since there's no separation of assets in the UK I simply shouldn't get married. (The wedding is in April). Not completely unexpected but still a bit but that he actually said that.

You need legal advice in England and Wales. I can't imagine why you wouldn't get this.

Do you understand about different jurisdictions ?

Do you understand the difference between asking someone in another country and getting a legal opinion / legal advice here?

Why are you treating your parents gift so carelessly ? I understand that you are probably using this to get at them in some way . But you have a child - don’t you care that you may lose assets that are theirs by right? Why would you take risks with your child’s inheritance to punish your parents?

Do you think that you are the first person ever to have the clever idea that your overseas assets don’t count in divorce ?

Do you honestly think that all these multi millionaires who get divorced and have to give £20 million to their ex are just too stupid to have thought about moving assets off shore?

www.anglolaw.co.uk/news-blogs/news-announcements/division-of-international-property-in-divorce?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

www.familylawgroup.co.uk/site/blog/flg-news/divorce-and-the-division-of-overseas-assets

www.goodwinsfamilylaw.co.uk/advice-centre/how-are-assets-and-property-overseas-dealt-with-if-we-divorce-in-england/

No one would ever pay anything in divorce if it was that easy to get out of it.

Where is this flat that you own outright but can’t sell? Is it in the UK? Do you and your finance live in it or rent it out and use the income ?

And most of the links prove the point (which what I've been told by two different solicitors here, including the one that divorced me) that my property isn't considered marital property because neither of us benefit from it and it predates the marriage by 30+ years.

And I do t understand why people have got the idea that I haven't had any legal advice. I have. I've been through divorce here in England. Yes my exH had more earning potential but that was it. We owned a house jointly.

Even in one article it says that they could use a forensic accountant and what not... Well they can use it as much as they like and the only they'll find is my salary!

I suggest you check out the AMA thread here on MN by the bride to be who's getting a prenup.

@Fressia123

I'm in England. Also if somebody knows of a good lawyer with knowledge of international law that would be brilliant.

Why did you ask for this if you are already so watertight on your understanding of the legal system?

If you have all the info and are happy and comfortable with the outcome then what do you want from this thread?

For people to give you permission to agree your DF is ignorant of international divorce law and should respect and celebrate your decision to marry?

Are you hurt that your family don’t share tourneys joyous feelings?

What is the fascination for having to get married? Do you just want a big wedding, the ring and the illusory status? Can't people see beyond this nonsense?

Only get married if you have children and are planning to adopt a traditional one person at home, one works structure. And then get a lawyer to sort out what happens if you split.

There is no such thing as "happy ever after" - nothing stays the same. Plan with this in mind. If you are lucky then all is good. But if you sign away everything in some dumb marriage contract believing in fairy tales - and you bought more to the table financially - boy you will get stung and for what?? Wake up.

I can see why your dad is nervous because his financial stability is connected to your financial situation. Can't you draw up a pre nip agreement. Stipulating a division of assets which exclude assets linked to your family?

I'm beginning to realise you're the one making your dad nervous, not your potential spouse! You're the loose cannon, it seems.

I'm only asking for any knowledgeable solicitors to give reassurance to my dad, not me.

@Fressia123

I'm only asking for any knowledgeable solicitors to give reassurance to my dad, not me.

But you surely must have got your current reassurance from your own knowledgeable solicitor - so just put your DF in touch directly and / or share the legal counsel documents provided to you following the consultation and review of your specific financial situation.

My DM for her own particular reasons doesn't want me to do that. My family is a bit nuts I know..

Ask your dad to pay for one or a few consultations for you with Mishon del Ray. You as the client but you can instruct them to write a letter to your dad to comfort/concern him as is appropriate.
There is nothing disloyal here to your partner by doing that, especially if you tell him you're doing it for your Dad's sake. As for your dad, he obviously can afford it and should jump at the chance.
Please, OP 🙏

Mishcon del Reya - darned autocorrect

“I'm only asking for any knowledgeable solicitors to give reassurance to my dad, not me.”

But it needs to be properly instructed and properly paid for legal advice, not off the cuff comments from people over the internet. There’s clearly plenty of money sloshing around here so you should just pay for some up to date legal advice where you ask an English lawyers precisely the questions that need to be answered. Mishcons are very good, as are Kingsley Napley.

@Fressia123

My DM for her own particular reasons doesn't want me to do that. My family is a bit nuts I know..

What are you referring to here? That your DM doesn’t want you to pass on the legal counsel you have sought to your DF? Or that she doesn’t want you to do a pre nup to exclude family assets?

What is your fiancée opinion of what should happen - have you spoken with him about ring fencing assets?

this is bizarre ....

Don’t get married or if you do be prepared to lose half. It’s British law - unfair as it is.

Thanks I'll contact Mishcon.

My DM doesn't want me to put my DF in touch with our family lawyer. I actually thought he's dealt with him but apparently he hasn't. My parents have an ongoing issue with my uncle's estate, but that's between them and my sister. That's a completely different matter though.

My DP has always said always said that he's fine to sign something to ring fence everything. He understands that the situation isn't very common and that it isn't personal.

My DP has always said always said that he's fine to sign something to ring fence everything. He understands that the situation isn't very common and that it isn't personal.

So what’s holding you back from doing this then?

So what’s holding you back from doing this then?

yes I too would like to know this 🌺

Nothing, but I know pre-nups are not legally binding, a judge can overturn it.

@Fressia123

Nothing, but I know pre-nups are not legally binding, a judge can overturn it.

at least you are fully aware of what a Divorce will cost you and what you will need to give him ... right 🌺

Not even sure what this thread is about. OP understands how to get proper paid-for written legal advice, and can afford it. This is what she should do. Pointless speculating for 12’pages so far is just that, pointless