Does your DP contribute to household bills

[NC19012021]

Have name changed for this as do not want my previous threads discussing similar topics to be taken into account when answering.

My query is this, if you are a single parent/person whose DP does not live with you but stays 3 to 4 nights a week, has lunch, dinner, baths etc do they contribute to your household and food bills?

Thanks in advance

Before my now dh moved in we'd have a similar situation. However he'd always arrive with food for us and the dc, and wine etc. He'd take me and the dc out and always pay, plus he'd pay for my dd's to go horse riding each week. I'd find that because he did this I wouldn't have to buy as much food or pay for treats etc so having him around meant that i wasn't out of pocket. So although he didn't directly pay for bills etc, I wasn't worse off financially

What happened OP? Hope you're ok?

When we first got together my partner lived out of town and started staying over 2/3 nights a week. He knew i was on a budget but im not sure he quite grasped how tight ir was. So i had to tearfully tell him that feeding my Mum one night a week for childcare reasons and then him also was just something i couldn't stretch to. He totally understood and we changed our arrangements to suit. He was always very generous outside of the home and with treats but i needed help with the day to day too if he was going to be around. He also totally understood my needs and his responsibility towards my household and DC despite having his own home to run and also paying generous maintenance to EW for DC.

It's the right decision, he would never change and it's embarrassing and humiliating to try and make him when he is clearly one of life's takers.

Mine did

He used to put money on my gas and electric and contribute to food now and again

But he did a lot of DIY in my house without wanting pay and take us on days out and didnt ask for petrol before he moved on so I was quite happy to feed him for free most of the time :)

Moved in not on argh. Weve been together 3 years

This is a bit of an old thread but hopefully she's got shot of the freeloader.

I think that he is a natural freeloader-he lives rent free, and I bet bill free as well so has actually no idea how much it to actually run a home. I remember when I moved out I was scandalised by the cost of electricity and toothpaste and now I am lucky enough to live on my own I have a policy of guests can help themselves to drinks but not food and boyfriends have to help with washing up etc, and contribute to food costs-I too have been caught out by a man who lived rent free at home-well he did not see it like that as he paid for the sky! They just don’t get it-but I bet if you went to his house and ate his allocated food for the week he would be angry. I remember your other threads and I hope you make it v clear to him, or soon his parents will joyfully unload him on to you and your resentment will probably be the end anyway.

Before my now dh moved in, he would pay for all the food shopping.

How are you OP?

Oh FFS woman! I suspect your other threads probably show a pattern of your partner’s entitlement that you really don’t want to admit.

For someone unknown reason you’ve decided to subsidise this entitled twat. Make a rough estimation of the extra costs incurred and ask for payment (preferably direct debit). If he refuses or complains about paying his way, dump his arse.

This is who he is and you’ve been fool enough to let things slide. If you don’t want to explain to a grown arse man how to treat you with respect, then this is not the man for you.

You’re going OTT for him and then snapping because he’s being lazy and disrespectful. You asked him not to eat something in the fridge and he chucked it in his mouth? Nope. Tell him he’s not coming back until he starts providing money for groceries. He also starts paying a portion of the electric if he’s wasting and ignorant. This behaviour cannot continue. You’ve got a man child. Has he ever paid his own way or has mummy always looked after him?