Being pressured to become a SAHM

[whattodo202000]

I am not sure if this belongs in the SAHP or Relationships board so sorry if I have posted in the wrong place!

I have a 6 month old DD and am returning to work on a part time basis from next month. My DH has now decided that he would much prefer I become a SAHP as he has really enjoyed me being off on maternity leave. We always planned for me to go back to work especially as financially it makes sense and I really enjoy my work. I am also in a career field where I can’t just take a few years off and return to it (unless I did lots of retraining). I don’t think there is any downside to me working part time (3 days a week) while DD is young and then going back full time when she is older.

My mother instilled the importance of always being financially independent which is why I am determined to keep my career and job (especially in the current job climate with COVID). I was just posting to see what other people thought of this, my DH thinks I am being selfish and thinks I should put my daughter first. The way I see it, I look after my DD 4 full days a week and will only be working 3 days a week where I will still be with her in the morning, take her to nursery, pick her up and do the dinner/bath routine on a night.

It would be interesting to hear what other the wise MN members think of this.

I was stuck at home for 18 months after DC2 was born, as childcare for two cost way more than my salary and we just couldn't afford to take the financial hit (all money pooled). I have never been so depressed in my life. I regularly screamed at my poor DC and smashed things. So the whole "put your child's happiness first and SAH" line is bullshit.

My children are way happier, and safer, when I work.

Besides which, the entire concept of women sacrificing themselves for their families is even bigger bullshit. Everyone in our family counts equally. Everyone's happiness is considered and we try to be as fair as we can. Why does your DH believe that your happiness and dreams are inconsequential and belong at the bottom of the heap?