DOE DP/DH just follow them around the house all the time?

[bringwineplease]

I get the feeling this will be a resounding NO from many of you so this is probably more of a vent rather than "is this normal?"

Does anyone else's partners/husbands just follow them from room to room all the time?! It's getting so bad, I feel like I've got another dog!

A few recent examples:
Monday after work, DP comes through to the kitchen to meet me. Stand and chat for a few minutes while I put my bag down, coat off. Tell him I'm going upstairs to get changed... he follows me up the stairs, across the landing, into the dressing room, then I went into the bedroom for my slippers, follows me in there too, back in the dressing room to brush my hair, follows, walk halfway back to the stairs, realise I've forgotten my phone charger so back into the bedroom, and he's right behind me again! Sometimes he's nattering away, other times just watching.

Like the weekend, I walked from the kitchen to the utility to put a wash load on, turn round and he's standing silently watching me load the machine.

Weekend just passed, I thought a miracle had occurred as I had managed to have almost a full bath in peace. Then I heard shuffling outside the door like he's pacing up and down the hall. Then a quiet "hows your bath going?" "yes fine", a few seconds later hes opening the door I said "hey hold on a minute!" and scooped my towel off the floor before he jammed it under the door. He says "why have you put your towel in front of the door?" then looks around the room for a few seconds before turning the extractor fan on! I said "what are you doing? I'm trying to have some peace and quiet!" he just looked at me confused and shut the door again

I know these examples sound silly but he's literally following me from room to room. Even if I'm just running upstairs quickly to get something, he follows me up. Sometimes I'm literally back at the top of the stairs again waiting to go down and catch him there. I said "I was coming right back!" He waits a few seconds pretending he's doing something then comes back down again.

Last Sunday I snapped and said "ffs it's like having a labrador puppy, you follow me everywhere!" he said "what's wrong with that? aren't we supposed to be together at the weekend?"

Its infuriating! I feel suffocated! Thankfully he works nights so I get some peace in the evenings. Does anyone else have this problem???

DS does it. He's 3.

That would drive me nuts.

Today's gem:
"Why has the showerhead moved? I thought you were having a bath last night?"
(Every evening before he goes to work, he asks what my plans are for the night, bath or shower? tv? what time do I plan on going to bed?)
Me: I did have a bath last night.
Him: then why did you move the showerhead?
Me: so I could rinse the bath after I was done...?
Him: but why move the showerhead?
Me: ......so I could reach it...?
Him: oh ok, I was just wondering.

Definitely seems like he doesn't trust you for some reason. The questioning about the shower head moving and the barging in on your bath but looking around the room seems like he's trying to catch you out.

Who am I hiding in the bathroom though???

At 4 in the afternoon while hes at home

How old is he ? Hope you don’t take this offensively but I remember my gran behaving really odd like this when she was in the early stages of dementia , could be a number or things really , how’s his mental health ? It could be that he doesn’t trust you but surely he wouldn’t make it that obvious ? If none of the above I can only think he’s just bored

Absolutely no idea 😂
Maybe he thought he catch you on your phone or something. All very odd behaviour though!!

So what does he say when you ask him why he's asking such ridiculous questions?

Mentally, I would say fine. Other strange behaviours though like an obsession with the Covid stats, absolute distrust in the vaccine, and a sort of morbid delight out of predicting future restrictions. "We're going to get put under a curfew, shops shut at 7pm, nobody to leave the house, army on the streets" sort of talk. He seems almost excited by the prospect. He's almost 39.

My phone was in the bathroom with me but he barely looked at it. Glanced over it then was looking all around. At the tiles, the ceiling, presume he was looking at the steam in the room hence putting the fan on.

No because that would involve getting arse off the sofa

OP,

Beyond suffocating and it would drive me mad.

Whatever the cause you need to be really direct.
Don't spare his feelings.😁

Check for dementia. It can be early onset. Following the partner about can be part of it. My mum followed my dad from room to room.

The best thing to do is talk to him.

He's either very anxious or he's trying to catch you out in some way.

I think he's trying to catch me out. He watches everything. But what he's hoping to find, I don't know.

Well, ask him, op! Ask him what he thinks he's going to find, why he's being so weird. Tell him how much you hate it and tell him to stop!

But what does he say when you ask why he's asking??

This screams he's up to something therefore he's become paranoid that you are too. It's bad enough when DD and the cat follow me but if DH was on my heels constantly i would lose my shit. Following you for no reason around the house is strange behaviour.

Is he becoming a conspiracy theorist? Looking at the tiles in the ceiling for hidden cameras? I'm not really kidding if he's become obsessed with Covid numbers and is suspicious about the vaccine.

Hes been watching conspiracy videos on YouTube a lot, but I don't think he's at the hidden camera stage despite a few occasions where he knows things I've never mentioned and tells me he notices more than I think

When I say to him why is he asking what time I went to bed, hes defensive. Just taking an interest/just making conversation.

He sounds paranoid and obsessed.

Is he into technology/IT? The clearing of the steam made me suspect cameras.

How ling have you been with him and how ling have you lived together?

It would seriously annoy the hell out of me he is suffocating you and invading your space.. you need to tell him to stop following you around like a lost puppy

Together 10 years, living together 7.

No but in shops DP always offers to hold the basket then stands infuriatingly close to me looking at his phone while I do the actual shopping. I bump always into him because he just glued to his phone (I assume holding basket = "helping"). Makes me soooooo cross.