Can someone just hold my hand? Just for a bit

[MoreLegsThanMe]

My husband of 36 years has left. I don’t know how to get through tonight. Can someone just hold my hand, please?

Thank you again.

He messaged me earlier saying he felt better than last night and had I told the DC and his DF.

Last night I couldn’t find out any information from the hospital direct as I wasn’t listed as next of kin.

I just feel really unsettled by it all and I don’t know why. I think it’s because I was just getting used to not obsessing over him/her/us all the time like I did to start with, and now this has happened and it’s at the forefront again. I feel like I’ve gone right back to the beginning. I don’t even know why I feel this way.

Lots of good wishes op

What a shocking time for you

You sound like a very caring good natured person

What a fool to have done this to you

I do hope he will be ok
But I would not be forgiving the madman anytime soon

Cheeky bastard. Message him back and say "I am not next of kin any longer so it's not my job to message your Father. Your new girlfriend can do that."

It's difficult because that's a lot of different, possibly conflicting emotions you are processing. On the one hand fury and bewilderment and anguish at what he has done, on the other hand shock at getting that call from OW and perhaps concern at the news, but also the worry about the dcs. No wonder you feel as you do.
What do you need now?

I hadn't realised you wouldn't automatically be his next of kin as you are his wife. At what point does the next of kin get written down?

Don't loose your anger OP. Just because cheating 'H' is poorly , he does not deserve any sympathy. Remember what he has done to you and your children. Let the OW deal with the fallout .

OP, if you’re up for it.. you may need to start a new thread as this one will soon become full.

Of course this has thrown you for six and you are concerned about the father of your children, your role is to support them and remind him you are separated. He will be in shock and may want to revert to the most comfortable life (ie with you) or the OW may run for the hills now! but his hurtful actions (now and in the past) have broken that bond between you and he has to live with that.
Be strong, please

@FantasticButtocks I was surprised too that they would tell me nothing. The sister just kept repeating that there was nobody listed as next of kin so she couldn’t tell me anything. But then the OW got information out of them.

I’m trying but I can’t put a description of how I feel right now. I told the DC today, expecting tears and fright and all sorts, but they were just uninterested really. DD4 just said “karma, innit”. His father too just said that he’d not be ringing the hospital to find out how he was.

I’ve said this before but I just feel so alone

I bet OW will dump him soon now, when she realises her future is to look after a sick old man with a dodgy heart and cock. Don’t let him come crawling back OP.

Unless she's got him to change his will and she could be a future benefactor.

Thank you so much.

I’ll start a new thread now

Oh OP it's thrown you right back into carers mode for him, and everyone else. Please don't lose sight of your own pain in all of this heart attack drama, and make sure you are focusing on your needs for a while. Even if that feels completely alien (which I imagine it will)

@MoreLegsThanMe I think it’s time you see a lawyer, even although you have your own knowledge it’s good to just get some impartial advice

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4153806-Please-hold-my-hand-a-bit-longer-thread-2?watched=1&msgid=104261367#104261367

Hope you don’t mind me posting the link to your new thread

He is an utter scumbag & a coward

He is a liar OP - that isn't going to change. He sounds just as good at telling lies to himself.

His 'romance' is sounding less and less real. It is therefore less and less likely to last.

I am sorry to hear that you are lonely. You have been alone in that marriage for a long time though. Removing it from your life will leave space for real friendships. Most of the world is not like him.

(Will the OW be there in sickness as in health...? )