Can someone just hold my hand? Just for a bit

[MoreLegsThanMe]

My husband of 36 years has left. I don’t know how to get through tonight. Can someone just hold my hand, please?

Sorry you are going through this OP, they have made their beds they need to lay in them.

She didn't ring you out of concern for him or you, but to shift the caring back to you.

@MoreLegsThanMe on a purely practical note, does (D)H have life insurance? If he does it may be worth checking out, as in most cases even an MI resulting in a single stent can mean a payout.
Hope this doesn't appear misplaced, I'm just thinking of further down the line, mortgage paid off etc, etc.

Ok I'm going to sound quite mercenary here, but I do hope you're not going to run and offer him help, fetch and carry him things to and from the hospital etc.

By all means facilitate him seeing his dc, but there's no bloody way I'd be offering to look after him or offer him a room in the house. Let his ow wipe his arse and run round for him. Not your job any longer

The Lord works in mysterious ways...

I agree with pp, check out life insurance - also does he have critical illness cover? While he's still your husband, as his next of kin, you may benefit from this.

As for his illness, sounds like karma caught up with him, the old shagger. Who does he think he is, Rod Stewart?

MoreLegsThanMe just another one here virtually handholding and offering strength and support whilst you go through this most horrible of times. When my marriage broke down, it was totally amicable and I still spent many weeks/months questioning and blaming myself and, as I understood once it was past, grieving for a long and supposedly happy marriage and what we should have been looking forward to. Even now, 6 years on when he has married again and I have been dating the same guy for 3 years, I still find myself mourning what could/should have been.

Its easy to say 'be kind to yourself' or 'take it one day at a time' but so very hard to actually do that. I hope that you make it through today without it being too horrendous on your emotional state. And manage at least a couple of hours sleep later.

Hope your ok op,

and managed to get a little sleep.
I doubt whether he felt entitled to ask for assistance from you. I wouldn't tie yourself in knots in trying to help.
I know that sounds cold but by the sounds of it he will be ok and you will be left again feeling hurt.
As for her, why did she call you? she clearly feels he doesn't really belong to her as such. Such a mess.

She's probably filling the forms out for disability help, and her down for carer's allowance as we speak.
Stupid woman, needs to go home and care for her children who she has abandoned.

Take care

I am not saying things for effect or sympathy I’ve been posting because, as I’m sure I will have said in the older thread, I have nobody in real life

It was only a single answer to another lady going through the same thing, you were kind, you said it gets better. You need to listen to your own advice now. 💐 you got through it then, you will get through it now, stronger and wiser than before.

Don’t let him back despite the heart attack, hope you and the kids are ok today.

OP I'm late to this thread but it sounds like you are already getting stronger even if you don't think you are. You say you couldn't take him back now & I know you will eventually be ok without him!
I agree with PP that a heart attack & surgery will not be what his new partner wants.
Keep that slow growing strength, you'll get there & I wish you all the very best.

I hope the OW is getting seriously worried. She started with Illicit Encounters and now has a bloke with a dicky ticker (not to mention the dicky dick).

Hope you are ok op.
Maybe having a health scare will make him realise what his priorities are xx

Christ, as if you didn't have enough to deal with.......sending strength x

Hope you're ok, sending support

Really hope your ok op. Sending big hugs. Xx

OP, you have received such good and caring advice from lots of lovely posters here, please don’t let those nasty trolls put you off getting such good support. So many of us are thinking of you and your DC’s and rooting for you. He does not deserve your love and care. Let her take care of him and just concentrate on yourself and the fam. I too love that earlier quote from another poster “when you are going through hell keep going” you will get out and live a better life.

Hope you and the children are all okay 💐

Stay strong, OP. Thinking of you.

I hope you’re ok, thinking of you. Please keep using this thread to get things off your chest.

Stay strong, OP. We're still here for you, so don't let some posters put you off getting the support you deserve.

Thank you so much.

I was so upset by the direction the thread took this morning. I have been on here for years and years. I would never invent stuff like this.

My whole life is basically in the gutter and I’m accused of trolling.

But I can promise you I’m not.

It’s not what you need @MoreLegsThanMe

How you doing apart from that?

We all know you didn’t invent this op 💐 xx

Forget the posters op, you don't have to justify your past and previous hardships with your husband.

This is what is happening in the present and anything which has occured in the past will have only added to your present anguish. Who are we to question what he has done and what you have been through with this man.
I have not read previous posts but I do know that if you had the grace to forgive him before it only shows what an understanding and empathic person you are.

What I would say though is that it would be lovely to hear that you will not give him the opportunity to hurt you again.

Again this is your choice, your life and whatever you decide we are here for the moment for you, to help you in the now.

Have you heard anything further?
x

How are you feeling now about his heart attack? Have any of the comments from other posters reassured you in any ways about that part of the situation? An added layer to your stress at the moment I'm afraid, partly because I guess you've had to tell the dcs and deal with their reactions