Can someone just hold my hand? Just for a bit

[MoreLegsThanMe]

My husband of 36 years has left. I don’t know how to get through tonight. Can someone just hold my hand, please?

Absolutely agree with ‘he’s lost his mind’. It will return one day (probably sooner rather than later) and he will see what an absolute tw*t he has been.

If the OW is sending pictures to you op then she is in competition mode. Do not attempt to compete. This will hurt her far more. Women like this get off on thinking they have won a prize. Keep your head up (fake it, because who actually could in this situation), and rob her of this satisfaction.

I highly suspect you will be a very focal point of their relationship right now. Don’t feed this utter insane ego trip from your husband and non existent competition from the OW.

Come on here and vent. I know it is an online forum but behind the text on screen are real people who are more than happy to be a hand hold.

That's awful

I'm struggling with a break up too, spent all last night begging him to reconsider, now haven't heard from him in 24 hours and he's not picked up my last message. I feel stupid and so sad.

Keep talking to us OP.

Christ it gets worse, she's messaged your children.

Tell them to keep the messages and any other evidence she has sent.

How did they meet/know one another?

You haven't let anyone down, I can promise you that. You sound like a kind, caring mother whose children love her very much.

The shock and pain you're feeling right now is 100% valid and it's an utterly vile thing for him to have done after 36 years together. I don't know if this will make you feel better but you're not the first and you certainly won't be the last person to go through this – the initial awfulness of being left suddenly and brutally is something that a lot of us have been through and lived to tell the tale. It won't feel like it right now but I promise eventually it will be okay for you and your children.

Oh, and he's a snivelling, lying bastard, obviously.

Since he left I’ve tried so hard to just be normal for the children I’ve even done the fucking ironing. Now I’ve just fallen apart and I can’t stop. It’s like I’m in some kind of nightmare and I can’t wake up.

What a horrible pair, I hope they ruin each others' lives and cheat on each other. I'm so sorry he's being so awful OP.

Oh and it's definitely not going to last between them, judging by your posts. He's gone on an affair website thinking "great, I can have my cake and eat it" and ended up with a bunny-boiling nutcase. He's already got what he deserves and once you're feeling calmer and more collected it's only going to get worse for him.

Look after yourself, OP

Oh @MsKL I’m so so sorry. I didn’t beg or plead I just folded my arms and looked daggers at him and reminded him to leave his door keys. Didn’t shed a tear. All I wanted to do was get down to my knees and beg him to stay.

They met on Illicit Encounters. I don’t know what it is but I can guess.

Your'e in shock, a tot of whiskey or something to calm you.

Make an appointment with the Gp tommorow and get your children to help you. The older children have they said they can come round?

He said they have a connection. That she makes him laugh. Just like I did for 37 years.

37 years eh. Her fucking age.

I thought it was worth a try, but obviously not. I'll pick myself up again eventually, it's just crap at the time.

I've never heard of Illicit Encounters. Sounds charming though! Hopefully he's met a psycho and will suffer for it!

Huge respect to you for being so icy calm though - even if you didn't feel it inside.
What a cringeworthy, embarrassing shit show (on his part). She's 37? He must be near sixty?

DD3 lives here after her last contract ended. She was working in Croatia and I bet she wishes she was back there. DDs 1 and 2 are miles away (DD1 in London and I’m County Durham). I just couldn’t ask them to come they have children of their own now - grandchildren that selfish bastard has lost - and I’m trying to keep things normal for DD4 and DS.

Yes he’s 59. 60 in March.

Don't have him back again. Let him embarrass himself.

Thank goodness you will have the support of your children.

You have done nothing wrong at all.

This is down to him.

Just maintain your dignity. He will lose out. Big time .

💐

Oh bloody hell. What a cliche.

The thrill of it will soon wear off when they both realise they’ve made they’re beds and everybody just leaves them to it whilst thinking they are utter nobs.

OP that is the best reaction, it would have enraged the OW and showed your husband how strong you are even when you are crumbling inside.

*their

I can’t Chaos. Right now if he came to the door I’d let him in I know it. But I know I can’t go through this again can I. Instinctively I think it won’t last. But if it doesn’t I can’t have him back here. I feel like I died this afternoon and that’s on him.

Thank you so much again. I can’t explain how grateful I am for all of you taking the time to post. I thought I’d be the only one awake.

With them wrapped round each other no doubt

Oh, you poor love..what an awful thing to happen. You should be so proud of yourself for maintaining your dignity in the face of pure twattery. Keep on talking for as long as you want, and get it all out there.

What would you want to do...

If you were the strongest person in the world?

I know. But you've done enough for today.
You're allowed to feel whatever you feel right now and make decisions at your own pace.