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Original poster

I think there’s another phone

367 replies

Dissillusioned · 08/01/2021 09:56

I may be paranoid but a couple of things lately have me thinking dp may have a secret phone.
I’ve looked but can’t find one, so I could be totally wrong but my gut is telling me to keep looking.
What I’m asking is, those that have found a secret phone, where was it hidden? I’m hoping there’s places I haven’t thought to look. I’m also hoping I’m wrong and just paranoid as I do have form for overthinking things, but I’m watching dp like a hawk right now.

OP posts:
Myshinynewname2021 · 08/01/2021 22:33

Sounds like it could be in between the mattress and base of the bed, or down by the headboard. Certainly near the bed in the bedroom anyway.

Anordinarymum · 08/01/2021 23:01

Check his wallet for a spare SIM

Dawnlassie · 08/01/2021 23:16

There is a way of checking what devices are connected to your wifi. I cant remember how its done but try Google or youtube.

grapefruitish · 08/01/2021 23:41

Next time he's heading out the door give him a huge hug while patting him down. Better yet, pick pocket him! Good luck op, trust your instincts (many times I wished I had or was glad I did) but also know we can all be a bit paranoid sometimes.

BlueThistles · 09/01/2021 00:38

a guy I worked with kept a second phone in his Office desk.. for his 'special' relationship.. His Wife eventually found out and Her Husband too... they divorced..

He's married to the OW now... but due to the deceit and hidden devices used to hide their original affair ... its not a happy situ.. they are both so tied up in mistrust of each other it's chaos.. she phones constantly.. she'll pop in lunch breaks to check he's where he says he is .. even looks in his desk for another phone... and he is just quietly miserable... gone is the lustful joy of sneaking around..

it's no way to live...

crikey that got off topic 👀 sorry OP 🌺

Sn0tnose · 09/01/2021 02:38

I do agree that you’re picking up on unusual behaviour and in your position I’d be thinking exactly the same.

However, I think the time has come where you need to consider whether it really matters whether or not he has a secret phone. You don’t trust him. I don’t blame you at all; he sounds atrocious. But the trust has gone. You simply do not believe that he won’t do that to you again.

Do you really want to go through the rest of your life being on hyper alert? I’ve done it. It’s exhausting. And demeaning. You don’t need evidence to give yourself permission to walk away from a situation that is making you unhappy. It doesn’t matter how much you love him, or how nice he is when he’s not lying to you or cheating on you. How long are you going to put yourself through this?

1forAll74 · 09/01/2021 03:29

What an awful way to live, people maybe having a secret phone, or the many people who go snooping on another person's phone, and tracking their whereabouts etc.

WindyRose · 09/01/2021 06:53

OP he might not have a second phone but his main phone could be dual SIM?

The SIM would then be installed in the phone, or he could remove it and keep it in his wallet, or elsewhere.

Maybe download a WiFi finder app (compatible with your phone) as another option.

Hope you find something asap as it must be dreadful to feel like you do, but stick with your instinct. It almost always never lets you down, unfortunately. Flowers

isthismylifenow · 09/01/2021 07:12

I am also a big believer of trusting your gut feel. I am sorry you are going through this, I have been there and know what's it's like.

Just a thought though, now that he knows you could be in high alert, he may change his tactics.

I am really hoping that there is some good surprise in store for you though, an engagement ring or a surprise of some sort. Do you have a memorable birthday coming up?

gannett · 09/01/2021 07:34

Oh, goodness.

From what OP has posted I could write an innocent interpretation of her partner's actions - or a guilty one. I don't know, we don't know, she doesn't know.

I also know that if I wanted to hide a phone from my DP - or vice versa - in our tiny flat, it would take no effort and he would never find it. Going on a mission to find a phone that may or may not exist is no way to live and not a path you want to go down. You will drive yourself crazy!

The trust is gone. Whether that's because your gut feeling is right or the effects of your past - I don't know. But if the trust is gone, the relationship is dead. That's what it comes down to.

Bakedbeanhead · 09/01/2021 08:25

My friend found her husbands “other phone” on the top of the fridge, pushed back slightly and yes he was having an affair

AaSaat · 09/01/2021 08:33

@QuentinWinters is correct and its the easiest and best way.

Save yourself the searching time. Chances are its connected to wifi.

Thisbastardcomputer · 09/01/2021 08:37

Garage in a box, friend was clearing after DH died suddenly and unexpectedly, quite young up a mountain.

Boopthesnoot1 · 09/01/2021 08:50

If you need to see what devices are connected to your home network you can use angry IP scanner, very easy to use. He may not have connected the phone to the network tho and u will need to scan it shortly after you believe he has been on it. If he turns it off then you won't find it. If its a secret phone then it will need charging so look for chargers and your power outlets to see if anything out of the ordinary. angryip.org

bigbird1969 · 09/01/2021 09:03

If your using BT you can log into the hub manager to see what devices are linked. The password for the hub is on the box

Type in 192.168.1.254 into search and then you simply add the hub password

EpochTime · 09/01/2021 10:47

@Dissillusioned

I’m not going to ask him outright. I did say last night, you acted really weird, why did you say ‘what is that’. It was like there was something you didn’t want me to see. So I have probably already alerted him that I found it odd. He just said about not wanting me to sit on them and he didn’t know why he said that, then he changed the subject a bit too quickly I thought. I will continue to act normal but I’ll definitely be watching for any other odd behaviour. And I’m still looking. He does have a car but hasn’t used it in ages and the last time I was with him, so pretty certain it’s not there. If there’s one, it’s in the house. Actually another thing I’ve thought of, we work together from him in our ‘office’ and a few times I’ve heard a phone vibrate (like a message coming in but no sound) neither mine or his personal or work phone have lit up. I just assumed it was his work phone and it didn’t light up on alert. It’s only ever happened when he’s been in there though as far as I can remember. So now I’m thinking, was it in his pocket? Or somewhere in office. I’ve checked office but he could’ve had it on him when I checked, hence not finding anything.
Is it possible you're hearing a phone vibration from next door? Whether that is it obviously does not rule out the possibility that he is using a second phone. From your description of events it does seem very likely he is keeping some sort of secret. You don't sound paranoid at all @Dissillusioned. After experiencing these recent odd events, you are going to be hypervigilant and he may pick up on that and become even more secretive. My advice would to try to keep a calm and as 'normal' as possible. I know that is difficult but it will be to your advantage, long-term. There is no point in asking him why he's being weird because it sounds as though he will simply deny that he's being odd. He has already said that he didn't know why he said what he said about his glasses case. Short of telling you they have memory problems, saying they 'don't know' is the last resort of a liar who can't think quickly enough on their feet. From your description of your good relationship together he will be terrified of losing that so he may tell you all sorts of bizarre things in an attempt to throw you off the scent. That may even include accusing you of things or attacking your character. I really feel for you and I do hope there is an innocuous reason for his strange behaviour.
Whythesadface · 09/01/2021 10:57

This made me think, check your plug sockets .
When he is out one day, check every plug socket, and see what is plugged in, trace every lead, take a photo if you need to.

Get up in the night and go make a cup of tea, then go and see if anything extra is plugged in, also check to see if leads with no phone are now being used.
I know a friend found out because her ex was charging a battery pack every night, she switched it off and he was cross.

Lovethesun100 · 09/01/2021 11:07

Check on your phone if there is another Bluetooth device local ?

LittlefairyMum · 09/01/2021 11:07

Some phones can take a duel SIM card

MotherExtraordinaire · 09/01/2021 11:13

If you think that when you're in the office, that he has it in his trousers, why not get a bit amorous, kiss and touch him?

Alternatively, have a look at your Bluetooth. Search for other devices and see if anything unusual comes up. Obviously this isn't conclusive as I pick up neighbours phones and devices, but I know what they are.

OhDearMuriel · 09/01/2021 11:13

It's not a dual SIM due to the glasses' case on the bed scenario.

chocolatepie2012 · 09/01/2021 11:25

In the boot of the car - a classic (as people have mentioned, the scene from Dr Foster).

Also the loft, old briefcases, top of cupboards, garage....

wewillmeetagain · 09/01/2021 11:27

My ex used to hide his in the tool pockets of his work trousers

Hailtomyteeth · 09/01/2021 11:30

I sometimes hide things (eg presents or food I don't want teens eating) and then can't find it myself

You a squirrel, @Sundance2741?

tropicalwaterdiver · 09/01/2021 11:39

I personally haven't try it but it looks like Android has a feature of scanning nearby devices using Bluetooth.

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