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Original poster

I think there’s another phone

367 replies

Dissillusioned · 08/01/2021 09:56

I may be paranoid but a couple of things lately have me thinking dp may have a secret phone.
I’ve looked but can’t find one, so I could be totally wrong but my gut is telling me to keep looking.
What I’m asking is, those that have found a secret phone, where was it hidden? I’m hoping there’s places I haven’t thought to look. I’m also hoping I’m wrong and just paranoid as I do have form for overthinking things, but I’m watching dp like a hawk right now.

OP posts:
BornIn78 · 08/01/2021 10:46

Second sim for existing phone is a good shout.

notapizzaeater · 08/01/2021 10:47

Why do you think this ?

Has he got chance to actually use a 2nd phone ? Where would he use it ? Look round there - ie dog walk - coat, bathroom - look in all the drawers, medicine cabinet

yankeedoodledandee · 08/01/2021 10:51

I’m aware it could be me being paranoid and don’t want to accuse him if I’m wrong.

So you keep looking, don't find it because it doesn't exist but still feel paranoid that you simply haven't found it yet 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is no way to live Sad

youvegottenminuteslynn · 08/01/2021 11:15

Why are you 'working on your trust issues' if he isn't trust worthy? If he cant be trusted then he can't be trusted. You don't have to ignore facts or your common sense. Or your instincts. If he fucked up then it's up to him to earn trust back not up to you to work on anything. You don't owe him trust ever again tbh.

This.

If he fucked up before and you agreed to try again, that's all you agreed to. To try. It's not working, is it?

You don't need evidence of him fucking up again in order to leave. You feeling this way is plenty reason enough. Being with someone you don't trust is a miserable way to live, I've been there. Obsessive, suspicious, paranoid. The fact I was right wasn't the reason I should have left - the fact I lived in a state of constant anxiety should have been the reason I left.

Original poster
Dissillusioned · 08/01/2021 11:54

To clarify a few things, I have a hard time trusting people. I’ve been in situations in my life where I was massively let down by people who should have been caring for me. I have also been cheated on in the past.
Dp at start of relationship was texting someone else, an emotional type of attachment which stopped and he has done everything to help get past that. I have full access to his phone, email, computer. It wasn’t flirty messages as such but was an old gf. But he has lied in the past, about little things but still lied. He also cheated on at least 2 former partners that I know of.
Recently a few things have stood out though. He’s been getting up most mornings around 5 and going downstairs apparently to the loo. We have an en-suite. After a couple of these times I got up and perked out and he hadn’t headed straight to the loo but had gone the other way and came back towards the loo with what looked like something in his hand. A small dark something. I went downstairs a few minutes after but didn’t see it again. I don’t always wake up though so don’t know how often he does this.
Last night I came in bedroom and as I opened the door he grabbed something off the bed right in front of him and said ‘what is that’ and then realised it was his glasses in a case as he shoved it under his wallet in what I can only describe as a fluster and then said ‘oh it’s my glasses’ in a voice with such relief it was just so bloody odd. When I asked him what he thought it might have been his answer was I didn’t want you to sit on them.
I was nowhere near the bed and not about to sit down and also I never sit down on his side of the bed. So I think he was lying and he thought he’d left something on bed he didn’t want me to see. It was just all very odd.
Now I know it could be totally innocent but it was the way he did it was just so weird. And the relief in his voice when he realised it was glasses was very apparent.
I know it’s no way to live, but im also aware I can overthink very easily and I could be paranoid when there’s absolutely nothing to be paranoid about. I don’t want to mess up what is otherwise a very good relationship if I’m wrong.
So I thought if I can get an idea where he might hide one if he has one I can at least check everywhere.
And I will watch his actions to see if any change. But those couple incidents just stood out to me a very odd. Especially why go downstairs to the loo and make a detour and come back carrying something which looked remarkedly like it could be a phone.

OP posts:
QuentinWinters · 08/01/2021 11:58

That does sound dodgy. I think the router option is good. Thats how I found teen DS "trap phone". There's loads of advice online about how to connect to them.

wowfudge · 08/01/2021 12:01

There's your answer then - it's somewhere downstairs and he goes into the downstairs loo to use it. Which room had he been in? The kitchen is probably a good place to hide something like that - in or behind something else.

wowfudge · 08/01/2021 12:02

If he has a dressing gown, try the pockets.

Wanderlusto · 08/01/2021 12:04

Inside a biscuit tin. Down the side of a kitchen unit. Or on top of a high one he thinks you cant reach.

Mylittlepony374 · 08/01/2021 12:05

Look in plain sight. My friends husband had his in the 'junk drawer' in the kitchen. Another in a coat pocket in the wardrobe.

Original poster
Dissillusioned · 08/01/2021 12:27

I’ll try all those places. The obvious place is the office - where he diverted to but I’ve looked everywhere in there, however he could have had it on him I guess when I looked as I’ve only looked when he was out. That’s also where coats are and I’ve checked all pockets and shoes.
High up in kitchen might be a good one actually, we have some high cupboards I can’t easily reach.
I don’t think it’s car as he’s not been anywhere much, we both working mostly from home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dissillusioned · 08/01/2021 12:32

Or maybe it’s not in one place. If he thought it was a possibility it was on bed that would suggest he’d just been using it and thought he’d left it out? I wish I could’ve checked his jeans last night but didn’t get a chance without him knowing.
Actually he did get up about an hour after going to bed put on jeans and went downstairs for about 5 minutes. I was still awake and I questioned why you using loo downstairs and he said he had an upset stomach so didn’t want to use en-suite. I did look where he went and he did head towards loo. But then I didn’t his route back to bed!

OP posts:
Thisismyusernamefornow · 08/01/2021 12:38

In his glasses case?

LiG123 · 08/01/2021 12:40

I'd guess glasses case

Taped to the toilet inside or out

In a bath panel

Behind the sink

QuentinWinters · 08/01/2021 13:00

I think you probably need to look when he's deeply asleep as it sounds like he has it on/near him and checks when you aren't around

mamaoffourdc · 08/01/2021 13:20

Or maybe you are a little paranoid?

abcyz · 08/01/2021 13:27

I mean, I'm reaching here, but you call him your DP, not DH. Could it be an engagement ring you saw? Maybe he's freaking out about proposing?

Original poster
Dissillusioned · 08/01/2021 13:47

Definitely not an engagement ring. Although maybe could be he’s planning a surprise.
I feel paranoid but when I think of his weird reaction last night I just think there’s something not right. It was just too bloody odd. And coupled with his early morning trips downstairs when he have an en-suite loo.
I keep seeing on here how people trusted their gut and were proved right and my gut is screaming there’s something not quite right .
I’ve checked all places suggested and nothing. Perhaps it’s a case of just monitor things a bit more and see.
I mean it’s not like he’s going anywhere at the moment. Plus I think whatever’s on the phone if it exists is probably texting. I don’t think it’s a physical affair because he’s always here, so maybe an emotional one which to me is just as bad. I don’t think it’s porn as he’s very anti-porn or perhaps I’m now thinking that’s just what he says as he knows I hate porn with a passion so he’d obviously say that. We have controls on the internet because of kids so he wouldn’t be able to access via the WiFi but I will be checking what devices are connected or have connected recently if that’s possible. I suppose it could be dating sites. Maybe he’s thinking of leaving. Or giving himself options. Well, if I find a phone that’ll definitely happen.

OP posts:
Sickofthiscrapp · 08/01/2021 14:01

I agree, threre seems to be something.
I don’t trust people easily either and I would definitely think something is going on.
Especially with those toilets trips.

MaeveDidIt · 08/01/2021 14:07

..."Going to bed and then putting his jeans on to go downstairs for 5 minutes"......

You're not being paranoid - he is up to something no good. and that's not just based on what you say above. His actions are all very dodgy I'm afraid.

BeTheHokeyMan · 08/01/2021 14:13

Behind bath panelling , in a plastic bag in the cistern ?

shittestxmasever · 08/01/2021 14:17

Gosh it does sound suspicious Op I'm sorry.
Tho I do always use the downstairs loo instead of the ensuite Blush

youvegottenminuteslynn · 08/01/2021 14:18

I think that when you have this level of mistrust and anxiety in a relationship, you're either right and they are cheating (in which case I believe you should end the relationship because you can't get back that trust) OR your level of mistrust and anxiety is misplaced - in which case I don't think you should be in a relationship at all until you've worked through that mistrust and anxiety and can then have healthy functioning relationships in future.

Otherwise you'll keep digging and digging until you either find something or you drive yourself mad.

MaeveDidIt · 08/01/2021 14:20

If he's got his own car - I'd also be thoroughly checking that as well when he's tied-up on a work call etc.

And yes, always trust your instincts.

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2021 14:21

@shittestxmasever

Gosh it does sound suspicious Op I'm sorry. Tho I do always use the downstairs loo instead of the ensuite Blush
It really doesn’t. Sigh.

Op, the issue here isn’t the phone. Ignore folks who will have you searching your house like you’re batshit

Speak to him.