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Original poster

He left her for me **MNHQ content warning added*

665 replies

LanaLielaLie · 05/01/2021 07:14

His girlfriend of 9 years. I’m ashamed to say there was an overlap - go ahead and flame me. He was unhappy and they were sleeping in separate bedrooms etc. Now he’s moved back in with his mum and we’re trying to take things slow. However, he goes back there every week to see his dog and take it for a walk.

He’s not over her is he?

OP posts:
DuchessOfDoombar · 05/01/2021 09:14

@GreenlandTheMovie have you really just told a woman who is being sexually assaulted and coerced in a relationship that she’s bragging about sexual trickery?

Your comment is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself - disguising misogyny and victim blaming as moral outrage isn’t the superior move you think it is.

oakleaffy · 05/01/2021 09:17

''He was unhappy and sleeping in separate bedroom''

🤣 Oldest lie in the book.

He has been ''Double Dipping'', for sure.

If a man {Or woman} can be unfaithful to their wife , they can do the same to you.

As others have advised, get a fresh man who isn't enmeshed with his wife.

oakleaffy · 05/01/2021 09:21

@LanaLielaLie

I’m not unfortunately. I’m early 30s. I grew up around toxic relationships so my benchmark was set pretty low. He’s not a catch no. But I’m lonely and I like having him around. That’s the unfortunate truth
@LanaLielaLie You can do so much better 👍

Being on your own is FAR better than being with a low grade man.

Sadly many women put up with faithless men because they fear being alone.

Up to you, it's your life, but hopefully in time you will decide to not accept second best.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 05/01/2021 09:24

I knew a bloke once who split from his wife but still had the dog on the occasional weekend. Aye aye, I thought. That's a convenient excuse to go round and see the ex-wife regularly.

He would have the dog when his girlfriend was visiting him. The dog would accompany them on their outdoor activities. OK, fair's fair. Would he return the dog to his ex-wife's house with his girlfriend sitting in the car ? Moot point.

He still had the, eow dog when the girlfriend was expecting his baby. Still had the dog on an eow basis after the baby was born. Sorry but IMO it didn't bode well for things.

How long before his baby became every other weekend too ?

He said him and his wife just grew apart. Obviously the dog was non-negotiable. I wonder why.

Zakana · 05/01/2021 09:27

@oakleaffy

''He was unhappy and sleeping in separate bedroom''

🤣 Oldest lie in the book.

He has been ''Double Dipping'', for sure.

If a man {Or woman} can be unfaithful to their wife , they can do the same to you.

As others have advised, get a fresh man who isn't enmeshed with his wife.

This above, with large clanging bells on! He is getting from you sexually what he wouldn’t dare ask his “ex partner” for, he has more respect for her! Don’t carry on doing this to yourself, you are worth so much more, use lockdown to get away from him for good, this so called relationship will become more and more toxic as time goes on, and as an aside, just because you consented on one occasion before, does not mean it’s an automatic green light every time he fancies a bit of anal from now on, him walking the dog is the least of your problems, please work on you and your self esteem, he’s a complete and utter rapey piece of nastiness.
AwaAnBileYerHeid · 05/01/2021 09:35

" He was unhappy and they were sleeping in separate bedrooms etc" Lol. Of course they were in separate bedrooms. At least one person has cone out the winner - the ex girlfriend. She's dumped her nasty piece of crap onto someone just as nasty.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 05/01/2021 09:37

Lana, youcan do better than this. He is abusing you. Please don’t go on with this.

Misstiffany · 05/01/2021 09:37

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oakleaffy · 05/01/2021 09:38

@LanaLielaLie

I have consented in the past I should add. And I sort of let him because I didn’t want to disappoint him so I don’t think it was rape
He sounds awful!

He sounds manipulative and a bully.

Please as others have suggested work on your self esteem.

Sounds like he is abusing you as a sex toy, and taking gross advantage of your acquiescent nature.

Cut free!!!!

praepondero · 05/01/2021 09:41

Good god, women are so fucking stupid Angry.
OP, read your own opening post and apply all the cognitive power you could muster.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 05/01/2021 09:48

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HappyNewYear2021 · 05/01/2021 09:49

I personally wouldn't trust him. He is a cheat after all.

goldielockdown2 · 05/01/2021 09:50

You're being raped but you posted because your bf still sees his own dog. I've rarely read anything as troubling. You need to be alone and access as much help as you possibly can Thanks

Misstiffany · 05/01/2021 09:52

But what does she expect I’m not the only one saying it, the way you get them is the way you lose them why couldn’t she find a man that’s not in a relationship

VodselForDinner · 05/01/2021 09:52

Does “taking things slow” mean he gets to fine over for sex whenever he wants, but you’re not allowed tell anyone about the relationship, or post pictures of the two of you together on social media?

He’s a horrible man, an abusive cheat. Your life would be so much better without him.

Also, is it likely that he’s a serial cheat but the kind who was always out clubbing/on boys nights away but with recent restrictions he hasn’t been able to? If so, he’s probably just using you for sex until he can get back out there again.

HappyNewYear2021 · 05/01/2021 09:52

Wow @LanaLielaLie

He sounds a sex pest and pushing you for anal when you are not interested really not a nice person at all.

Don't do it to please him. You say you have only seen him for a few months and yet he is like this! Why? He is horrible. End it with him.

Work on your own self esteem and look after yourself.

Lucieintheskye · 05/01/2021 09:52

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Misstiffany · 05/01/2021 09:53

Exactly go above pp

Misstiffany · 05/01/2021 09:53

To *

Quartz2208 · 05/01/2021 09:57

@LanaLielaLie

I have consented in the past I should add. And I sort of let him because I didn’t want to disappoint him so I don’t think it was rape
Consenting once doesnt cover future events. OP personally he is a rapist but at best he is sexually coercive, has you strung along so is emotionally abusive and is an adulterer.

Run for the hills and get some counselling OP, freedom programme etc. Hopefully this has meant both of you can become free from him

Figgygal · 05/01/2021 10:01

the fact he has left her doesnt make him your responsibility
He doesnt make you happy and he pressures you sexually.
Dump him op and quickly before he damages you even more mentally and physically.

saraclara · 05/01/2021 10:01

Your OP is confusing. So he left his girlfriend of nine years for you. It reads as though you are his girlfriend of nine years.

Anyway, you've posted about this dog thing before. But it's the least of your problems it seems.

Hadjab · 05/01/2021 10:04

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diamondpony80 · 05/01/2021 10:05

I wouldn't believe for a second that he's round there just "walking the dog". I'm sure his ex is getting her revenge. He's probably stringing the two of you along right now - telling her he's sorry and you that he wants to "take things slow".

RantyAnty · 05/01/2021 10:16

OP
You know he's a lying cheating sack of shit.
What are you going to do about him?

Do you have any family, friends, DC, job, pets?