Dating Thread 198 - FOMO is a real thing

[cravingthelook]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Aw @TheCatWithTheHat that's a poignant find the 2002 receipt when poorly family cat was still around.

No I'd not be a good match for anyone not bonkers about animals as we are in this house. Another thing for my list perhaps as before I've tended to put 'cat tolerant' but actually I couldn't set up home with someone who didn't see them as family members.

@TheCatWithTheHat see my latest post. She ain't right for you but women like me would find the opposite anti-sexy.
No cat love = not for me

Why no long term potential rural? Just the height? Cos he sounds lovely.

One of my opening questions is if they like cats probably why I didn't get many replies 😅 my cat is very important to me and is basically in charge in my house so I have to know that they will get on with him!
Definitely not anti-sexy to me!
Luckily Mr Chaos loves my cat, I've had a lovely break from work spending lots of time with him...well and truly on the smitten bench :)
Good luck everyone in 2021 with dating, hopefully lockdown will be lifted so more interesting dates can be had :)

I think she was Eastern European from the way she spoke, maybe Russian. I've always found they come across as rather rude. She unmatched me after I told her I thought it was quite a strange thing to say, and rather offensive. Oh well - another wedding cancelled!!

Maybe I needed to be topless, and riding a tiger for her to appreciate it.

Anyway, great to see so much cat-owning love here!

Different energy levels @WeWantTheFinestWines
I'm a doer and he's a dreamer.

Said things like 'I'd love to speak a foreign language' and 'I'd love to play a musical instrument' and i suggested he should get cracking on those dreams as no one born knowing how to play piano.

But yes the height is a big thing for me I now realise. Awful me I know but I have only ever dated tall blokes and now I know why I just really get the hots for a bigger gent.
I guess it's like guys liking/not liking curvy/athletic girls. A strong preference.

He also didn't make me laugh. I'm funny. My best mates are funny and my dream bf is funny.

Might have been first date nerves though as on our long call the other night it was very lol 😂

I am my own worst enemy with the height thing though I've just realised - when they turn up on date zero/first date and they are tall I get the swoons then fail to spot that they are tossers!

Yes maybe ever so slightly over-focussed on the height thing... I like a tall man but then I think of how Sophie Dahl and Jamie Cullum. It seems to work for her. Although I did find it weird when I dated a guy my height for a few months.
The laughing is essential. They have to make me laugh and also get how funny I am 😁 otherwise there's just no hope.

Think I'm the only woman not overly bothered about height, if anything I prefer 5 9 / 10 ish. Don't like short but anything over 6 foot 1 ish I don't like.

Not a height person here either - bit taller fine with me I get attention from tallies but it’s not really a big factor for me

definitely agree I like “virya” - someone with energy and zest for life who engages with things and gets stuff done.

I don’t mean some super successful alpha male type (been there done that got the t shirt) but someone who can focus on a challenge is very attractive

@Clovertoast

I have just spent 11 of the last 13 years hearing exactly the things your bloke is saying:

He told me he loves me .... and if he is honest he can't ever offer me more - This was my ex all over

He said he never wants to get married, live together or blend money and family - This was my ex, except I fucking wish he had been so clear about it from the start.

He said he needs space to sort himself out, that he doesn't want to give up on us - I've had 11 years of hearing this - he just didn't know "where his head was at". Ever.

He says the loss of the parent, combined with lockdown, isolation and arguing with his ex has made him feel worse than usual - there was always a reason and he's spent every month I've known him arguing with his ex. It's as if he wants it that way.

He says he doesn't want to hurt me or lead me on he says this because he doesn't want to take responsibility for the situation

I said I loved him but if he really doesn't love me to let me go because it isn't fair. We've left it that he needs space. - I tried this too and got the same answer. For ELEVEN YEARS.

Don't make the same mistakes I did. I thought I could change it by sticking around. I'm 55 and alone now. But I've been alone for most of this relationship tbh.

@TheCatWithTheHat Mr Sounds is quite besotted with his kitten 😊 I know many men who like cats .. she's odd

I'm not keen on anyone over six foot,despite being over 5'10! I like the shorter,stocky guy!

Fight you for one of those @kerkyra

Quite fond of a baldy too 😄

Ooh me too @kerkyra

Phil Mitchell is 👌👌👌👌👌

Just dipping my head in. Not sure how anyone’s managing to date right now as I’m finding it impossible. Was chatting to someone through Fb, we had been friends a while through OLD and a hobby, he was messaging me many times a day and then new year Eve he just stopped, not heard anything from him and he hasn’t read my message (asking if he’s ok), really odd but I strongly suspect he’s got back with his ex........or maybe he’s dead 🤔.

Anyway, I’m only on one dating app (POF) and it seems pretty dead, same faces and a few new ones that don’t look very interesting. Feeling a bit lonely because I just don’t have any irons to chat too. Mr Snake and I are still friends but occasionally he pushes for more which annoys me so I back right off, we have loads in common but I don’t feel a sexual connection with him, I would like to stay friends but not sure if he can handle being ‘just friends’.

Covid has really effected dating and making new friends, I kind of feel like I will be single forever as dating has been made impossible.

I've just actually ran out of men on Tinder, sigh! 😕

Antisexy? Owning a cat is antisexy? Who knew?

For me the more animals the better, and if they dont like animals they're not for me...currently I have 1 cat, 2 dogs, 43 chickens, 26 geese and 8 feral cats....we're all one package (plus adult children) and they would all come before a man.

If they dont like getting muddy thats a no too🤣

Heightwise I'm not too bothered although if they're shorter than me its a worry as I'm only 5ft 3🤣
Mr K is huge - tall and broad - not sure on height, over 6ft definitely.

Will anyone be kind enough to review my profile on Hinge? Not that I’ve worked out how to send it.

With a new lockdown looming who knows whether being online even makes sense !

@SortingItOut (not dating related) I only heard about bird flu UK epidemic yesterday when stocking up on big sacks of grain for the hens and some bloke was telling me why we had to keep our flicks away from wild birds.

I had no idea. Love to see my free range girls hanging out with their moorhen, raven & pigeon mates but apparently this is a big no-no right now.

I wish I loved a shorter bald stocky bloke. I'd have a lot more to choose from!

Someone like Richard Ashcroft (the 90's version no idea what he looks like now!) is my idea of perfection - tall, skinny, unusual face, big hair, alternative vibe....

Bugger that MrVW and his dreamy physical perfection as had all of that and more.

@Ruralbliss
Thats right,by law they should have been locked up from 14th December.

On a lot of chicken groups I'm on people are saying that some of their neighbours werent aware, the publicity around it has been shocking.
I'm signed up to DEFRA as I have over 50 birds and I didnt even get an email, what if you dont have internet access or you're not on chicken groups etc.

I have loads of wild birds on my fields, I'm doing the best I can to mitigate risk and if someone wants to report me they can.

I live with a 6'1" bald ex semi-pro rugby player. Built like a brick shithouse. You can all have him.

My perfect man would be the face of a young Keanu Reeves or John Cusack with the body of the bloke playing Natalie Imbruglia's boyfriend in the video for Torn. Another 90s throwback...

Thanks @SortingItOut but that's really shocking you didn't even get an email despite being DEFRA registered ffs.

I have just three. They aren't v impressed with being locked up but little do they know their pen & shed is enormous and could house loads more. They so love an all day roam around the grounds together.