Wife wants a ‘break’

[Struggling73]

Hi all.
On Christmas Eve my wife of 3 months (been together 18 months but known each other 12 years) declared she wasn’t happy and I wasn’t the man she met 18 months ago. I was in shock. I knew things weren’t quite right but I put it down to work stress or something similar. She didn’t say it was over, but that she needed time to figure things out, and she could only do that if I wasn’t there. I agreed I’d try and give her some space afte Xmas but then Xmas morning came and it was torture. I left before lunch and spent the day and night in my car.
I’m now crashing with family. I’m broken, confused and upset. I love her to bits but I think it’s over

I’m just going to start afresh re the mortgage. I suspect you might be right about the eldest. I’ve stopped stressing about it though. I’m moving on with life and that’s that.

@Struggling73 - you sound very clear and resolute. Sorry that you had to go through this but it’s great to hear that you’re moving on and putting her behind you.

Onwards and upwards, OP!

Good luck OP.

@Struggling73 just want to wish you all the best for the future, you deserve it

Thank you Dery, Italian and Valleys.
The amount of support and wishes I’ve received on here in the last 3 weeks is just incredible.
I wouldn’t have come through it without you guys x

You're being amazingly strong. It must be so hard at times but keep going.

It's good to hear. MN us often accused of being full of man-haters. We are not.

OP, I understand you're getting the right professional advice from your posts which is great, obviously not something you can or should discuss publicly.

Just remember you don't have to bottle up the emotional side. There is a whole lot of people on here who have been through nasty break ups or divorces and know it isn't easy, so please do talk about how you are if you need to.

OP I had some sympathy for your wife having been in what I thought was her position, but your latest updates indicate this isn't the case at all. I'm sorry if I previously seemed like I was having a pop. I hope you get things sorted as quickly and as painlessly as possible. And to stay on here chatting to us if we can help at all.

Sorry to hear your news but you do sound strong. MN such a great support.

It does sound as if she may have met someone and has cheated. My exh had affair and ended our 14 yr marriage. I thought I’d never get over it- I grieved as felt man I married had gone and been replaced by this cold, uncaring person who looked just like him... he didnt want to play fair with finances but I fought hard. It was tough at the start but as I realised I hadnt been totally happy and had made too many compromises, it was actually the making of me. I was and am much happier and independent now. He and OW didnt last.

Do make sure you get fair share of house proceeds and other finances as I am sure she will try and manipulate it to her advantage. You have to take care of your future.

You will in time meet a woman who deserves you and you WILL be happy again. Good luck.

Sorry to hear this! I’ve read most of the thread and my first thoughts were she was having an affair, it sounds very similar to a friends situation some years ago.
I hope you have a better year and you get to keep your dogs (mans best friend!) 🙂