Wife wants a ‘break’

[Struggling73]

Hi all.
On Christmas Eve my wife of 3 months (been together 18 months but known each other 12 years) declared she wasn’t happy and I wasn’t the man she met 18 months ago. I was in shock. I knew things weren’t quite right but I put it down to work stress or something similar. She didn’t say it was over, but that she needed time to figure things out, and she could only do that if I wasn’t there. I agreed I’d try and give her some space afte Xmas but then Xmas morning came and it was torture. I left before lunch and spent the day and night in my car.
I’m now crashing with family. I’m broken, confused and upset. I love her to bits but I think it’s over

Brilliant SandyY2K

OP I'm sorry it looks like our suspicions may have been true, this must be hard to digest

It's difficult, but I'd be cool as a cucumber and collect all the evidence possible in preparation for the divorce and custody dispute (if any) over the dogs.

So sorry, I'd be heartbroken. This is brutal

Oh wow that is a good list

Evening all.
Not much of an update from me this evening. I’m keeping myself to myself, there have been no dramas or confrontation, or even dialogue
It’s harder than I could ever have imagined seeing her etc, but today was easier than yesterday. Long may that continue.
I have made other plans but I dont really want to detail them on here for all to see. You never know.
I’d like to thank each and every one of you again for your contributions, your advice and your support. I’m in a hugely better place right now than I was 7 days ago. That’s largely down to you folk.
I feel like I’ve taken up too much Mn time and space with this now, so I’d like to bow out.
I hope you all have a fab new year, and for those of you going through tough times of your own, I hope you come through them stronger and happier

Please feel free to pop back if you're in need OP!

Thanks for the update, OP. There really isn’t such a thing as taking up too much MN time - everyone can choose whether or not to look at a thread - but you sound clear and resolute and like you need it less now. Good luck with the next stages of this journey. Feel free to pop back if you do want some more support or just to update.

The very best of luck OP.

All the best and stay strong.

Take care, happy 2021 - and at least pop back to let us know how things are going
and what you are up to!

Best of luck with everything OP. You’ve not taken up anyone’s time unnecessarily, I think you’ve shown strength and introspection at and incredibly difficult time. Onwards and upwards. Do pop back and let us know how things pan out for you.

All the very best.

I think you should remain in the home. Do not move out again.

If it is 3 bed, really either the girls should share or she should share with one of them and you should get a room.

However, if you have a spare lounge, I'd be ordering a bed for it.

And file for divorce on Monday. After such a short marriage, you both will be returned to the positions you were in previously, financially.

Thanks for the updates OP, Dr son on your guard and get legal advice ASAP on Monday.

remain

Best of luck OP, I hope this year goes well for you in spite of how it's started. You seem like a nice man and you deserve happiness.

Thank you Pol and all.
Sandy, great list! Spologies, I missed it originally.

Hope you're well OP.

Hi - I’m ok, thank you for asking.
An update:
I’m still in the house. Valuations have been done - house is going on the market Monday. In the meantime I’ve had solicitors advice (x2) and a conversation with my mortgage broker.
Without knowing 100% , everything points to an affair. She spent the last 2 nights away from the house to visit a ‘friend’ - but that doesn’t matter. (Apart from the legal aspect - ie we are supposed to be in lockdown)
In the space of 2 weeks I’ve gone from feeling utter grief to not even recognising my wife. .... and not caring what she does.
There are some disagreements to be had re the house money... but I’m willing to gamble everything to get what I want out of it. If I end up penniless fighting for every penny then-so be it - I’m prepared for that.

OP I'm really rooting for you to get the dogs!

That's pretty shit, OP. I don't think she'd be spending nights away in lockdown with a friend, unless it's a "friend".
Glad you've got the ball rolling, hopefully everything goes well for you xx

Good for you OP.

Her mental health my arse.

Mental health of her daughter...my arse.

As most thought here...an affair.

She is an absolute piece of work.

She had you sleep in a car on Christmas night because she wanted to screw someone.

I would make absolutely sure that the truth gets out AND that you get everything you can, and the dogs.

She deserves everything that is coming to her.

Her poor children.
Thank God they are well into their teens.

Stay strong, calm and resolute.

I wouldn’t gamble the house on lawyers fees. My dad did that in the 1960’s, he never recovered financially and he was about 30 when he did that.

Try to keep costs down.

Fingers cross for you! Hopefully your ex is so full of love hormones she’ll take her eye off the ball for an easy life. Re mortgage, can you transfer to another property with paying redemption fee’s? - though if you have to that I would hope would count as a family dept to be taken out of assets. How is it with the children - i have a feeling the eldest knew she was having an affair or up to no good.

Hi OP, I'm sorry to hear your news but at least you have a degree of closure and you can move on. As @Wherearemymarbles says, she will probably not be focusing on practicalities right now. Best of luck.