Are you 'allowed' to feel ill?

[inghaly]

Yesterday I didn't feel too good. I had a splitting headache and felt really tired and nauseous.

I'd just finished preparing dinner and it was cooking in the oven. I needed to sit down for 10 minutes.

As soon as i sat down I told dp I didn't feel too well.

His reply was:' you were ok a minute ago'

Me: no, I've felt ill in the kitchen too.

We sat for 5 minutes and I could see he was getting restless.

Dp: you do know there's still stuff to do in the kitchen?

Me: I just need 10 minutes of rest then I will do it.

Dp: it can't wait really.

Me: please, just let me rest. My head is really hurting and I feel dizzy too.

We sit for about 1 minute then dp stands up in a huff.

Dp: I'll fucking do it then. I've been busy all day, but don't worry I'll do the housework too.

Me: I said if I could rest for 10 minutes then I'll do it.

He goes into the kitchen.

Less than a minute later.

Dp; where's X,Y,Z ?. How do I do this? I need help out here really.

So I get up and help. It was nothing that couldn't wait until we'd eaten and rested.

This isn't the only time. Whenever I'm ill it's always the same. I can't be ill because there's things that need doing!

Oops, not very nice is he. Are you married ?

I’d be absolutely disgusted with that. What’s the point in having a partner, the person who’s supposed to care for you more than anyone, who behaves like that if you feel unwell?

Mine might question about being fine a minute ago but otherwise if I say I don't feel good I get sent for a lie down

Sorry op he's abit of a idiot

How are you when he is poorly?

I’m sure he has good qualities but caring doesn’t sound like one of them! Behave exactly the same way when he says he’s ill.

Yea and no

He will take care of me when I’m ill but sometimes, no matter what I get, he seems to catch it

I once pretended I had D and V....then all of a sudden, he “caught” it

I didn’t tell him I faked it because it really wasn’t worth the aggro

I did say to him not to expect any sympathy next time he feels unwell.

His reply : but when I'm ill it's worse for me as it affects me more.

That was his reply? Why? What makes him think illness effects him more?
Seems such a bizarre thing to say.

*affects

Nope. Never allowed to be, with either of my abusers

What a weird response. Why would being ill affect him more? Does he think you are Wonder Woman or what?

I couldn't be in a relationship with someone so utterly uncaring. On top of being shitty behavior , it's a major turn off.

@Soubriquet, my DH is the same. Whatever I have, he has too. I'm very rarely ill (he often is) but he will always (amazingly) have the same symptoms the moment after I mention them; even menstrual ones....

Fucking hell poor you. I felt a bit poorly on boxing day around 2 and said I'm off for a nap. Left my husband with a 4 and 5 year old. He brought me a cup of tea up at about 5 and then told me to rest up. That's how it should be.

He sounds like a knob

If I told my husband that I didn’t feel well then he would go sort out the cooking straight away. He actually cares about me though so that’s probably the difference, doesn’t seem like your dp cares about you

Yuck. That would make my vagina shrivel up.

I didn’t feel well yesterday and dh left me napping on the sofa while he sorted out the washing, bathed the dog and made me a cup of tea (several).

Tbh he’s much nicer than I am when he’s ill as he’s so dramatic and ott whenever he is ill. I tend to lose patience.

Your dh sounds like a git if he’s always like this.

Couldn’t be with someone like that. Total arsehole.

My DH is pretty much the same. It’s a major inconvenience to him if I don’t feel great snd he lets me know it.

If I tell him I don’t feel great, I always get ‘I don’t feel great either’.

Also he doesn’t like to see me resting - if I sit down with a cuppa etc he fires questions at me about what I have and haven’t done.

Tit.

Wtf? He thinks that being ill affects him more? What a self centred twat!

OP I felt really ill on Christmas Day and I went to bed. It was evening by then so the cooking and clearing was finished, but DH sorted out bedtime for the DC.

His behaviour was nasty and suggests a lack of care and respect for you.

That is not loving behaviour is it?

If I tell him I don’t feel great, I always get ‘I don’t feel great either’.
My exH was like this. And whenever there was something on that would mean he needed to spend time with my family/kids, he'd feel "not great" and needa lemsip. Could never articulate exactly what was wrong. Was infuriating.
On the flipside would get annoyed if I was ill. Once I broke a wineglass washing up and sliced a long flap of flesh off my right hand. He refused to take me to hospital for stitches (couldn't drive myself).
Every time I look at the scar it reminds me what a total shit he was and why I'm no longer with him.

He sounds awful.

Same here. My Dh will look after me for a bit, then feel I'll too. Or gets grumpy or is already feeling "off". He is ill sooooo often, no idea why. Even the kids notice. It's like he needs to feel the centre of attention.

Wow op, i would dump him for that. Does he do other things that are abusive?