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Original poster

He ignored my "merry Christmas text"

198 replies

sunflowerbloom · 25/12/2020 10:03

I'm not going to lie I feel really sad today.
My mum died in September and it's obviously my first Xmas without her.
I was seeing a guy(who wasn't treating me well) always twisted things to make me the one in the wrong etc but I loved him.
Anyway it ended but we started speaking again (just normal chat )
He was texting me and start conversations again,he made out he was doing me a huge favour talking to me.
Anyway last night (it was my birthday too) I messaged him "merry Christmas,have a great day,hope Santa is good to you"
He read it and didn't reply.
He's been on social media since.
I mean ..he couldn't even string a merry Christmas reply back.
Even tho we've made up recently and been speaking.
He knew it was my birthday too,he knew I was alone without my mum.
Isn't that cruel ?
I feel so sad today (please don't send nasty replies to this thread ,I don't want to feel more sad )

OP posts:
Original poster
sunflowerbloom · 25/12/2020 10:41

I deffo don't love him I think your right.
He's treated me that shit what's to love.
Merry Christmas (that's how quick and easy it is to type that )
He's so cruel to me.
The list I could write..you wouldn't believe me.

OP posts:
Original poster
sunflowerbloom · 25/12/2020 10:41

2021 is a new start

OP posts:
Blondiney · 25/12/2020 10:42

You deserve better.

Merry Christmas Xmas Smile

hocuspocus1922 · 25/12/2020 10:42

So not waste a single second over this waste of space . I think everyone has come across a man like him . I have ! Stupidly more than once . Unfortunately they talk to you until they find someone else when it goes sour with them he comes back talking to you giving you false hope and that's all it is ! Move on op . Youl find somone who wants and loves you . Block him . Merry Christmas and happy belated birthday wishes ❤️ xxx

hocuspocus1922 · 25/12/2020 10:43

WhTs your plans for today ? Know why I would do . Have a shower , doll up take a lovely Xmas selfie and get your ass on a dating site . Eat chocolates drink wine . If alone bugger the stress of a Christmas dinner . I was alone one year and I didn't cook a dinner . I ate what I wanted . You got this op ❤️

Original poster
sunflowerbloom · 25/12/2020 10:44

@hocuspocus1922 I'm off to my dads,tacky Bridget Jones style Christmas jumper on.

OP posts:
WitsEnding · 25/12/2020 10:45

I’m sorry about your Mum, and that it’s such a difficult Christmas for you. But your relationship with this guy has ended, and it sounds as though he definitely doesn’t want it to start again,

You don’t love him. Stop contacting him. Look on the holidays as a time to rest and reflect, and move on. Make space in your life for a new beginning.

londongirl12 · 25/12/2020 10:53

@sunflowerbloom

I deffo don't love him I think your right. He's treated me that shit what's to love. Merry Christmas (that's how quick and easy it is to type that ) He's so cruel to me. The list I could write..you wouldn't believe me.
Then harshly, why are you going on about it? You've said he's a scumbag, so stop being in contact. You're allowing yourself to be hurt.
Windmillwhirl · 25/12/2020 10:56

You are giving him way too much control over your emotions. You know he is a shit person because he treated you badly. Lower your expectations of him and hopefully you can cut him out.

Call or message people that care about you. They matter, he shouldn't

SparklingLime · 25/12/2020 11:06

The list I could write..you wouldn't believe me.

Many here would believe you only too readily. That’s why they’re advising you to put this inadequate man behind you. No contact at all or else he’ll still be dominating your thoughts.

Original poster
sunflowerbloom · 25/12/2020 11:07

I'm really putting it behind me.
Next year is a new start and I'm going to try and build my life back again.
I know it doesn't matter but why didn't he respond?
It would have taken two seconds
We have been speaking
His online on Facebook
Is it just nastiness ?

OP posts:
CaMePlaitPas · 25/12/2020 11:08

You are worth so much more than this. Please try to move on from this man and concentrate on those that love you. I am sorry for your loss and Happy Birthday xx

CaMePlaitPas · 25/12/2020 11:10

@sunflowerbloom It's a control technique. He isn't a nice person sunflower, at this point I would be deleting him and blocking him on social media. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

bananabob · 25/12/2020 11:15

He sounds horrible you should definitely stop speaking to him you don't need someone like that in your life

SkySports · 25/12/2020 11:19

[Flowers] for you

Please don't feel sad. You are too good for him ...move on find someone nicer.
... it's OK to feel sad you have lost your mother , take care of yourself

Purplethrow · 25/12/2020 11:25

I think sometimes he likes hurting me.
Or wants me upset?

Don’t let him then , don’t allow him to do this to you. I’m so sorry about your mum , I’m sure she wouldn’t want this for you so if you can’t dump him for yourself, do it for your mum . I hope you have a nice day and find someone that values and loves you x

Mischance · 25/12/2020 11:46

He is only cruel because you are letting him be - and inviting it almost by getting in touch.

The reason he is not replying is because you have given him the control to make you upset and he is using that. He is a bad lot.

I was once told that we cannot always stop bad things happening to us, but we can control our response. Your response to him must be to cut him out of your life completely.

Hold on to the good things in your life and put him behind you.

RoxanneMonke · 25/12/2020 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Regularsizedrudy · 25/12/2020 12:05

Yes its nasty but you knew he was nasty anyway. Instead of looking for reasons why he wants to be nasty to you maybe look at the reasons why you are going back for more.

Dozer · 25/12/2020 12:12

Don’t wait for 2021: today can be the new start. No contact best.

nimbuscloud · 25/12/2020 12:12

Stop looking at his sm. you’ll drive yourself mad. He’s not interested in you.

Rosebuddydo · 25/12/2020 12:14

This should be your catalyst to never talk to this person again. Be kind to yourself and make it your resolution to move on and find a person who deserves you x

bluebell34567 · 25/12/2020 12:14

he is doing it on purpose to upset you. of course he is cruel. leave him behind.
in fact its a favour for you that he doesnt reply. take the advantage.

JingleFails · 25/12/2020 12:18

[quote CaMePlaitPas]@sunflowerbloom It's a control technique. He isn't a nice person sunflower, at this point I would be deleting him and blocking him on social media. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.[/quote]
Totally agree with this.
Its a control thing.
He hooks you as you always have that hope he will change/ he loves you enough to change.they never change
Look up Trauma bonding, the highs you get when he responds after the horrible nasty lows, become addictive.
Be warned he will be back with " but babe blah blah shit" shortly.
These type of men constantly test your boundaries and how much shit you will take .

Ditch him PLEASE

SparklingLime · 25/12/2020 12:38

I know it doesn't matter but why didn't he respond?

Ir clearly does still matter to you. I’d suggest that he didn’t respond because he just doesn’t care. Or, like others have said, he’s blowing hot and cold as a way to keep you invested and under his control.

Either way, the way forward lies in your hands, not his.

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