He had imagined a "different figure" based on my pics

[WelcomeBackAmelia]

Hi all, just NCed as I feel slightly embarrassed by the topic. I am an active Mumsnet user though.

Yesterday I went out on an online date with a man I had been chatting with for a few days. We went for a walk and had a coffee in a bar. The date was nice, although he mostly talked about his job and didn't ask me many questions.

When the time to say goodbye came, he literally said "listen, meeting you was pleasant, but based on the pictures on your profile I had imagined a different figure and I am not really interested. Hope you don't mind me being so direct but I think honesty is the best policy. Best of luck" and off he went

I am 5'6", 8 stone 12, size 8. I am pretty athletic, not a lot of curves. On my profile I have two pictures in a swimsuit (not sexy pics, just spontaneous pictures on the beach). I think they show pretty clearly my size and body shape. My height is clearly stated on my profile as well.

Now, I know I should just shrug it off and move on. However I don't understand what he meant? Did he think I was curvier or perhaps smaller? Was it just a lame excuse? It sounded so specific though..

This type of thing had never happened to me, so I am a little paranoid now that my dating profile is deceiving and the guy felt somewhat tricked? Do you reckon he was just a dick? I feel pretty annoyed at the way he said that stuff to me. Surely that is pretty rude?!

He’s a dick! Try not to dwell on it, he didn’t sound that great anyway only talking about himself and not asking anything about you!

Yeah. He's just a dick. You're amazing

He’s a dick!

You've dodged a bullet, be assured of that. I wouldn't give this prat one more second of headspace.

It says a huge amount about how much of a dick he is. Bullet dodged op.

A dick! Rude also. Best indeed you know now rather than wasting more of your time. Frankly he’d have lost me at going on about himself without being curious about you.

It sounds like he wasn't interested or thought you weren't interested, and probably being an entitled misogynistic twat thought he'd get in a parting shot to knock you down a few pegs because his ego felt threatened. It wouldn't matter what your body was like. It's just to make you feel small. Because he's an insecure idiot.

I would be inclined to think he was just being horrible for his own entertainment. He probably gets kicks from going on dates and saying something wierd to women. Forget him.

Boring, a dick and shallow as a window. You've had a lucky escape

I think, for whatever reason, he just didn't fancy you - I doubt it was anything to do with your weight. I think it was an unnecessarily direct way of putting it. It's good that he was honest rather than ghosting you, but saying something more vague such as 'I don't feel there's any chemistry between us' would have been more tactful.

If it's never happened before, I doubt there's anything wrong with your pictures. You must know whether they're a good representation of you - obviously, no one picks unflattering photos, but they should be recent with no major changes to appearance having happened since they were taken.

He sounds like an annoying 'tell it like it is' person who imagines they are being refreshingly honest when in fact they are being blunt for the sake of it, with no thought of tact or the other person's feelings, so you have probably dodged a bullet.

Your figure sounds great to me. I’d love to be slim and athletic, my husband would probably love me to be too!

He wasn’t attracted to your figure (despite beauty ideals, there is actually a lot of variation in what men are attracted to) and I dare say you weren’t attracted to his personality.

I’m sure you can find some one who is a better fit for you. Some one his genuinely attracted to you physically and has better social skills. Onwards and upwards!

I broke my back a couple of years ago and I've put on two stone and I would have been horrified by this comment. But it's all about him. Not you. I feel bad that you have to justify yourself as being slim to people reading this. He's a horrid little man and you dodged a bullet.

Only interested in a very specific type of outward package not the contents; he should probably just get a blow up doll and be done with it.

You aren’t responsible for the fantasy he’s built in his head. I had this a few times on OLD before they even met me. “Send me a selfie so I know your pictures are recent and you haven’t got fat” was the short version of some requests. At least it screened them out before I wasted a date on them!

You’ve dodged a bullet. He sounds self obsessed too if he only talked about himself! On to the next fella OP!

What a bizarre thing for him to say with those stats!

Lucky escape there OP, what a dickhead.

There are guys out there that get off on making women feel like shit. He sounds like one them.
You sound lovely and in time this will become a funny/worst date story you tell someone wonderful.

He probably only goes on dates so that he can say that to women at the end. Bet he has it memorised. Needle dick wanker.

Don't give the demented twat another thought OP....

He probably espected you to be plastered in make up and dressed like an eastend hooker. Sounds very self absorbed too.

Yuck.

Oh OP. He is a Class A bellend. Not one single aspect of what he said is ok. Pity the next poor girl who'll have to listen to him going on about his job. Next!!

Expected*

Maybe he expected you to turn up in a bikini?
Honesty is the best policy, huh? Maybe he means you should be honest and specify "No condescending twats" on your profile?

Wow what a terrible cuntish thin got say, I'm over a stone heavier than you at the same height and I know I've put on 10lb this year, I don't need anyone telling me.

I'd put it out of your mind if you can and move on. OLD is full of this type of nonsense. He probably thinks all women look like Instagram filtered pics. I'll bet you look fantastic irl.

*thing to say

Please do not allow this non-entity to engage any more of your headspace. He is rude and not worth it.

What an awful man. A variation on "I'm a straight talker, I tell it like it is" - I.e. "I'm a rude c*nt". Thank god you've dodged him!