He had imagined a "different figure" based on my pics

[WelcomeBackAmelia]

Hi all, just NCed as I feel slightly embarrassed by the topic. I am an active Mumsnet user though.

Yesterday I went out on an online date with a man I had been chatting with for a few days. We went for a walk and had a coffee in a bar. The date was nice, although he mostly talked about his job and didn't ask me many questions.

When the time to say goodbye came, he literally said "listen, meeting you was pleasant, but based on the pictures on your profile I had imagined a different figure and I am not really interested. Hope you don't mind me being so direct but I think honesty is the best policy. Best of luck" and off he went

I am 5'6", 8 stone 12, size 8. I am pretty athletic, not a lot of curves. On my profile I have two pictures in a swimsuit (not sexy pics, just spontaneous pictures on the beach). I think they show pretty clearly my size and body shape. My height is clearly stated on my profile as well.

Now, I know I should just shrug it off and move on. However I don't understand what he meant? Did he think I was curvier or perhaps smaller? Was it just a lame excuse? It sounded so specific though..

This type of thing had never happened to me, so I am a little paranoid now that my dating profile is deceiving and the guy felt somewhat tricked? Do you reckon he was just a dick? I feel pretty annoyed at the way he said that stuff to me. Surely that is pretty rude?!

In hindsight it would have been great to have said to him:

"listen, meeting you was pleasant, but based on the words on your profile I had imagined a different personality and I am not really interested. Hope you don't mind me being so direct but I think honesty is the best policy. Best of luck"

Would you want to go out with someone who thinks it's appropriate to speak to someone like that.
Do you think he is worth a moment's further headspace?
Even if you were taller, shorter, heavier etc, makes no difference. This guy probably wanted a shag and nothing more and when it became apparent, he went down the "it's not me, it's you". Honestly, that was a lucky escape.

I've never really done internet dating as been with my husband for 12 years so maybe it's the norm, but if it were me I'd probably take swimsuit pics off my profile. Know they're athletic rather than sexy but anyone you go on a date with will have seen you in a swimsuit. Don't know why it makes me slightly uncomfortable, especially with the likes of that guy being able to view them.

*apparent that you weren't "putting out" so to speak.

What a weirdo! Sounds like a perfect figure? I genuinely dont understand.

Sorry OP I haven't read all the replies, but I just want to say what a clown!!! He's made himself look an idiot, but you sound lovely! I so wish you had managed a clever comeback, but I would have been the same as you and thought shit what have I done wrong??!!! Goodbye, you absolute arse!!!!
Good luck with finding someone you deserve OP

Sounds like he's only interested in boobs and ass rather than actually finding a nice partner.
If he only talked about his work you've dodged a bullet anyway.

He’s a dick but honestly I’d not be putting swimsuit pics on your dating profile. You don’t need to show your body shape like that. You are likely going to attract some real dickheads if you do, more than the normal amount, because some arseholes will think you’re posting pics without yout clothes on because you’re up for it and only judge your body,,,like this man did,

I have a male friend who on line dates and the women tend to have their clothes on in the shots.

He is just a wanker, but remove the swimsuit shots.

[quote WelcomeBackAmelia]@PandaBearCub he was indeed shorter than I thought. He didn't have his height listed on his profile but he had a picture with his gran who must be incredibly tiny as he looked like a giant next to her. In reality he must have been 5'8" maximum, although I had the decency not to comment on that of course.[/quote]
"You had the decency not to comment on that ? " His height ? 5 '8"? So are actually doing the same thing - judging him by a physical attribute ?
I do think he was a dick saying that but he's actually saying the same thing you were thinking really .

He was and is a dick. Anyway I beg he was not so great himself.

Bet* not beg lol

So you’ve posted swimsuit photos that show an accurate representation of your figure, you’ve gone on a date with someone who has spent most of the evening talking about himself, who has then essentially accused you of misleading him about your size........ and you’re worrying that the problem lays with you?!

He’s a dick. You need to be laughing at what a complete idiot he is. Don’t doubt yourself over this.

Look I'm not saying you should never pay attention to what anyone else says EVER!
but
Life is so much easier when
(Shrug) "wierdo - what IS their problem?... Whatever!" is in your toolkit for ready use. It applies to soooo many people

Well I would imagine you thought he would be more intelligent with a bigger knob! Lucky escape!

Nothing to do with you or your figure. The guy is just a complete loser...

See it as a lucky escape: at least you won't have to waste anymore of your time on that dickhead...

He probably is someone who gets off on doing this (rejecting great women who are completely out of his league in the first place to make himself feel less of a loser...)

He sounds horrible.

I hope you told him and then blocked him.

Moronic loser.

Give it 4 weeks, tell him you've changed, lost weight, got implants, had a butt lift, ask him for a dickpick and tell him it's not how you imagined and you'd rather just leave it.

He was probably hoping fir a casual hook up, realised you weren't the casual hook up type and/or bottled it, and made up some stupid excuse to deflect the blame onto you.

I personally don't think guys should get away with this behaviour, so would be tempted to message him something like "I'm glad you realised you wouldn't be getting a casual hook up out of this. But you shouldn't use your weird ideas as an excuse for abusing women who are too attractive for you. It makes you look foolish, particularly when you're so unconventional looking yourself". And then block him.

He wants a cum receptacle. He is looking for a sexual relationship. Now, I understand there not being a spark but that is begging. I have dated men with six packs, obese men all sorts because it’s about the sum of all things that make up a person. It’s also about how they make you feel. If he’s begging after date one imagine how he would be after six months when the novelty had worn off. He’s not “keeping it real”, he’s insulting you. He could quite easily have said that he had really enjoyed the date but that he didn’t think that he wanted to see you again, kept it friendly and parted amicably. This is an angry man who wants you to know that you aren’t good enough. He’s actually shown you who he is and it’s not pretty. You’ve had a lucky escape.

Negging not begging lol

I had something similar happen to me.
The most important thing for you to do is to never contact him again.
You can't change men like that.
He's a prick and there are many more men like him.

He's a dick. Lucky he showed his true colours at this stage.

Any man who knocks a girls figure on the first date is one to steer clear of. He sounds rather shallow

To hell with him..when you meet the right guy he wil love you for who you are not how curvy you are

Gosh you dodged a bullet

Don’t dwell on it. You sound amazing with a fab physique. Maybe he is into curvier women and maybe you are into men who are not Narcissistic tosses. He isn’t worth your oxygen xx

Ugh what a vile little worm. Are you sure he didn't suddenly chicken out because you were, in fact, out of his league in some way? Could have been a bit of negging? Either way, what an unpleasant little prick, no loss. Imagine starting a relationship with THAT